&rew.

I wish everything could be easy, but after traveling together for three weeks, it kind of feels like a breakup all over again. I expect him to act a certain way, even though we're not together. And I get disappointed/upset when it's different. But it's not fair for me to expect anything at all.

And I don't see us being together so maybe this friends thing is too hard. I'm not sure, but maybe I'm just overthinking it all. It's just very confusing & I wish it didn't consume my thoughts so much.

The trip wasn't a mistake & it was honestly one of the best times of my adult life. I'm actually kind of sad that it will probably be the last time we travel the two of us. But now I'm back in this limbo I stuck myself in.