!

I’ve come to the conclusion that I am part of the problem in my few failed relationships. I’ve realized that I put the person I am with on a pedestal. I give them these impossibly high standards and expect them to turn salt into gold somehow. Which is totally unfair. But I’ve also discovered that I’m not the only reason my relationships turn out to be the eye of the storm. It takes two. To make things work. To prosper, grow, learn. And I am not the only one at fault.

The way John Mulaney speaks is the vocalized version of When You Capitalise Every Word Like This

Some of you are waiting until you’re skinny to live your best life and I need you to STOP!

haters will hate on me because they do not like me at all

haters will see you and be like i dont really like that guy