Untangle Life

You meet a partner who's your dream person, but they only want you to play board games with them. It would be a deep breach of trust for them to find out that you've played a game with someone else. You enter the relationship, thinking "I love this person dearly. Board games with other people are something I can give up to keep them around."

Over time, you find a bunch of different two-player games and land on a few that you really enjoy. You start to play those games more often. Chess, checkers, UNO, mancala, reversi, pick your poison. Eventually it becomes a routine.

But there are only so many two-player games, let alone ones you haven't tried already. You start to realize that different people have different play styles that you'll never get to try your hand against. Your attention is drawn to three-, four-, even many-player games that you're missing out on. You're curious about Wingspan, Pandemic, Catan. You want to try games like UNO with more than just one other person and see what effect the Reverse card should actually have. Meanwhile, you and your partner continue to play the same three or four games, only occasionally trying something new. It feels…unsatisfying.

So you ask your partner if maybe you could try playing chess with another friend who you think might pose a challenge and offer a different perspective…and they're hurt by this suggestion. "Is playing with me not enough for you anymore? Am I not enough for you anymore?" You realize they're not going to budge, and you grow frustrated, or even resentful, that such an important part of your life has to be locked down for you if you want to keep this person you love.

A lot of people are perfectly content playing board games with just one person. But out of those who aren't, some resort to playing games with others in secret, especially if losing the relationship will create undue hardship (housing, finances, etc). Others leave their partners, amicably or…otherwise. Others still, arguably MOST, simply consider their need for other board games to be a personal flaw, convince themselves that they're being selfish, and continue to let the resentment grow.