Exhibit A, ((and this is the only jianruk fic out there yeah i be trying to put my people on the map))

Exhibit B, this from a jianruk draft thatll never see the day and hasn’t been read through bc i stop typing once the spark dies out (context, amnesia trope; my favorite thing in the entire world….. and im the only one that thinks that..)

lyrics from u by kendrick lamar

i alwaaays imagine this song as kuruk (and kyoshi) grieving over his failed avatarhood and it shifting into like bitterness in regards to his predecessor, similarly to kyoshi. kyoshi looks at kuruk with utter hate, wishing to not be compared to or addressed as kuruk's anything. and he gets it. kuruk’s disbelief when learning the truth about the spirits and yc's failed attempts in bringing harmony between spirits & humans completely destroys the pristine image of her. the idolization morphing into contempt gradually as his life worsens & yc can't reach him because his connection to his spirituality is weakening the more he kills spirits. he sees people praising her name and pleading to her in their prayers, and the sight makes him sick because yangchens never going to answer. one day in particular, kuruk was drunk as hell, very dangerously travels with his glider to the eastern air temple and just vents to yangchen's statue since he can't do so through meditation. at first he's complaining about the horror he has committed against the spirits and his lack of restraint with the amount of wine he consumes, then it turns into blaming yangchen for everything, then blaming himself, then back to her, he's crying and shouting and YEAH THATS WHAT I BE IMAGINING IN MY HEAD :D

one thing that fc yee took out of tsok was the change in perspectives. when kyoshi had seen kuruk’s life, the narration would alternate pronouns from his to her, but that would confuse readers so instead he stuck with it being strictly through kuruks pov. i liked the idea ngl. the song u by kendrick lamar is him cursing himself out, so it's interesting to see it being used with the avatars who are basically saying 'i hate you' to themselves. do u see the vision now?

Do i think kuruk essentially has religious trauma upon learning that yangchen was only human and even she can't save him, well yes! in fact, here are more lines to represent their dynamic :

but i've been calling for years and years and years and years, and you never left me no messages. you never sent me no letter, you got some kind of nerve, taking all i want.