to sing a song of when i loved the prettiest star

To Ilya, Shane is the funniest, sexiest, bitchiest and downright FREAKIEST person he knows. He tells everyone he knows this, yet for some reason no one seems to believe him. His husband is such an asshole, and Ilya loves him for it.

As he grew up he obviously stopped doing it around others, but sometimes after a brutal day at school or a bad practice, in the comfort of his own room, Shane would crawl into clean sheets with nothing on and wait for sleep to take him.

He can and does persevere through the urge, of course, because Shane Hollander is an expert at perseverance.

But after he marries Ilya and starts to accept himself a little more…he has fewer issues with letting himself be comfortable.

Which is how Ilya finds his beautiful husband completely naked (except for glasses) sitting on their couch reading a book, a folded pile of clothing abandoned next to him. He filters through several reactions and settles on bewilderment. Shane looks up and smiles sheepishly.

“Sorry, I just couldn’t take all the textures right now.” He shrugged. “You don’t mind right?”

“i don’t know, probably that i can have ilya’s photos on my phone now :).”

ilya pays the bill at restaurants by lying that he’s going to the bathroom - shane starts doing this too and now it’s a race to see who can covertly pay first

shane is super outdoorsy and can fix a lot of stuff around the house AND has tools!!!! ilya calls him mr get it done after hearing the GloRilla song

they take polaroids at the cottage

shane INSISTS on russian only days to accelerate his learning

shane uses ilya as his personal weighted blanket and other sensory grounding techniques (“can you grab and pull my hair” “kinky” “no - actually later”)

shane collected ilya’s hockey cards but had to have a huge binder of everyone’s so it doesn’t seem like he’s only collecting ilya’s cards - ilya has shane’s rookie card in his wallet (awwww)

lots of cuteness aggression doesn’t matter who’s around!!!!!!

“listen” “listening”

ilya’s entire camera roll goes from random pictures to shane shane shane - shane sleeping shane eating shane standing infront of the tv claiming he’s not watching shane in hockey gear shane cooking shane with anya shane with the angry kitten face shane at the cottage shane at the camps shane in his childhood bedroom shane shane shane

when apart; ilya sends 100 voice notes a day to shane (shane listens to them all together like asmr)

ilya will kiss shane just to steal lip balm

if shane is laying on the couch ilya will lay on him and put his head in shane’s shirt (“you’re stretching out the material”)

ilya learns the phrase “hate to see you go but love to watch you leave” and uses it constantly

their shared google calendar is run like the navy (“hollander i don’t see blowjobs on thursday? i will add” “STOP IT MY MOM SEES THIS CALENDAR”)

ilya lowballs people on fb marketplace and then uses shane’s account to lowball them further

ilya will lick shane’s face when the situation calls for it

ilya’s snoring is so bad you can hear it from other rooms but it’s the only noise shane can sleep through its like white noise for shane

shane loves showing ilya canadian deep cuts (house hippo commercial!!!)

ilya winking at shane is to shane what shane wearing glasses is to ilya

shane peppers ilya’s face with a million kisses regularly but especially when ilya gets hurt

ilya writes to do lists / grocery lists in cyrillic and his penmanship is gorgeous (shane is surprised his jock hockey player husband has nice handwriting and that it took him 10 years to see it)

ilya calls troy his best friend and shane gets jealous

shane carries the bags when they go anywhere

ilya is shane’s emergency contact but shane’s parents are ilya’s emergency contact

long distance selfies

so when they started officially dating, shane was preparing himself for what he's gonna do when ilya will catch a flu. it was challenging enough managing with his own... body fluids (HA!). and he genuinely didn't know how he's gonna react to ilya's mucus all around. but he was much more scared that a disease would turn ilya into a catastrophe.

he was very dedicated to be a good boyfriend and do whatever needs to be done, though.

what a shock he had, when he figured out, that when he's sick, ilya turns small, trying to hide in the darkest place and disappear. he is quiet, lying in the bed curled into a ball and shivering with fever. shane heart broke, when ilya started to apologize, almost crying, that he couldn't make him food and he's a shitty boyfriend.

never shane wanted to kill more, understanding that this is how probably ilya's family treated him every time he got sick since his mother died.