the history of the entire world, i guess starters
“ pretty cool , huh ? ”
“ i can’t even get from here to there without buying a boat. ”
“ it’s sad. i’m sad. i miss you. ”
“ how did this happen ? ”
“ it’s been so everywhere , you don’t need a where. you don’t even need a when. that’s how every it gets. ”
“ i just don’t know where to start ... & that’s exactly where it started. ”
“ what’s it made of ? quirks and stuff. ”
“ ah , that’s a thing ... in a place. ”
“ but it’s not empty yet. it’s still very full , & about a kjghpillion degrees. ”
“ it’s a star ! ”
“ new shit just got made. ”
“ some stars burn out & die. bigger stars burn out and die with passion. ”
“ they make some brand new , way crazier shit. ”
“ weather update : cooler temperatures today , & the floor is no longer lava. ”
“ the entire world is now an ocean. ”
“ that’s land ! ”
“ something’s alive in the ocean. ”
“ taste the sun. ”
“ no. the sun is a deadly lazer. ”
“ bye bye , ocean. ”
“ oh fuck , now everything’s dead. ”
“ & the dinosaurs are gone. ”
“ it’s mammal time , here comes the mammals. ”
“ that’s a human person. ”
“ let’s review : there’s people on the planet. ”
“ i control the food now. now everyone will want to be my friend & live near me. ”
“ this is great ! i wonder if anyone else is doing this ? ”
“ the middle east is getting more complicated. maybe because it’s in the middle of the east. ”
“ you could make a religion out of this. ”
“ now the phoenicians can get down to business. ”
“ they believe in god. ”
“ wow , that’s big. ”
“ it’s a great idea. he was great. & now he’s dead. ”
“ get the hell out of here. will you get the hell out of here if i give you 500 elephants ? ”
“ that’s the tamil kings , no one conquers the tamil kings. ”
“ hell yeah ! now we’ve got business. ”
“ is loving jesus legal yet ? ”
“ here’s a huge city , population everyone. ”
“ & then the franks broke their kingdom into what will later be called france and not france. ”
“ they go north from the north to the northern north. ”
“ they did many crusades , some of which almost didn’t fail. ”
“ i’ve always wondered how to build a town in a cliff. ”
“ i bet that will last a long time. ”
“ look at this chad. means lake. ”
“ china’s back , yay ! ”
“ oh , look who controls all the islands ! it’s the mahajapit. majahapit. mapajahit. mahapajit. mapajahit. majapahit ? ”
“ here’s a printer ! let’s make books. ”
“ well i guess we’ll have to find another way to india. ”
“ that’s bullshit ! this whole thing is bullshit. that’s a scam. fuck the church. here’s 95 reasons why. ”
“ britain & france are having a friendly discussion about who should control the entire world , more specifically ohio. ”
“ now france is broke. ”
“ let’s overthrow the palace and cut all their heads off ! ”
“ you could make a relig - no don’t. ”
“ now they can make many types of machines & factories with machines in them so they can make a lot of products real fast. ”
“ well , blame something on them & go to war. ”
“ it makes cars go. ”
“ europe hasn’t had a war since the last war , so they start world war i. ”
“ it’s gonna be a great war. so great we won’t need a second one. ”
“ now everyone’s paycheck is the same. ”
“ we can give the jewish people a place to live. ”
“ let’s get in the car & drive to a party & listen to jazz on the radio & go to the movies. ”
“ he’s mad at the jews for existing. ”
“ that’s world war ii. ”
“ let’s unite all the nation & have some world peace. ”
“ sike ! they both get angrier. ”
“ i’ll race you to space. ”
“ technology’s better too , that might keep happening. ”
“ oops ! someone just attacked america. i bet they’ll remember that. ”
“ by the way , where the hell are we ? ”
