The Lost Star

Love yourselves please because you are all so beautiful and unique! Just remember i love you all for who you are ❤️

- Lost Star

I opened the door .. I fell right through . I never want to feel like this again .

Captured by lost star ✨

The emptiness I feel inside is a dark hole filled with unaware options . It’s like a hat with a rabbit inside . You look into the hat and see darkness but putting your hand in you’ll find exactly what you’re looking for. Sometimes you have to face your fears and put you hand in just to see what you’ll find .

As I glade through space I close my eyes as I spin round and round . Not knowing where I am or which direction I’ll go . Screaming on the top of my lungs but nothing seems to be coming out . Not a sound . Like reality you scream whether for help or just to be heard . People walk by as you are drowning with their phones in your faces & that’s the last thing you’ll see before you drift away . That’s our world .

Body positivity is such a hard thing to learn after all I’ve heard is negativity all my life . From not eating to eating a lot . No matter what you do you “aren’t” good enough . In reality . FUCK YOU . Fuck all of those who have disrespected me , bullied me and just those who let the bullying happen to me. It hurts when someone you thought you loved handed them the phone and let the ocean drown you .

My life is such a blur that I don’t know what road do go down . Afraid of being alone . Afraid of facing my true self . What is the true meaning of life ? Why do we hurt those we love ? Why is life such a confusing blur ?

I have a fear of my own body. I used my body in ways I’m not proud of .. having sex with those out of hatred, pain and love. I was trying to find things in the worst way. I opened my temple to those who didn’t deserve it . I didn’t even want to .. but I said nothing and nodded my head bc that’s all I thought I was worth .. nobody had shown me the way not even the adults around me. My temple was left defensiveless.

As the blade cuts my skin I sigh in relief . I’m able to breathe again . The day I took those pills and drank that alcohol I knew it was the time I wanted to be alive . It’s funny how when you want to end it all and are going through those steps it’s when you are most alive . Your past flows through your eyes like a projector . Screaming on the top of your lungs . Just wanted to be free from all ..

As I awake with the sun kissing my face all I can think about is pain and hatred . A cloud grows above me and pours . Raindrops filled with negativity cutting into my skin deeper and deeper . My wounds opening up with no way of healing . Becoming my demons I fall Into darkness.

I’m a puzzle piece that fits no where . I am a piece with a story to tell ..

As i look into the mirror i see nothing but chains. I see myself in a box as it gets smaller and darker by the second. Air around me getting thinner.  The sign of hope is disappearing. I'm shrinking into nothing. The reflection of me is cracking. The tears in my eyes are getting heavier. The fear in my heart controls my life. Not being able unplug the tub filled with doubt and pain. My hearts beats in fear as my mind continues to flood. The dam has been broken for a long time and im unable to patch it up. I float and i sink . The dam is in control.

As lava reaches the ocean's touch it solidifies into a dark black mold. Its covers the real beauty underneath it's shadow. Hot to the touch but cold deep down.  Walking and wondering seeing a shimmering dark look to the ocean is like sirens to captains , irresistible . The smoke of the fire brings light to the ocean's wave as it protects itself from burning. Glancing at each wave they seem rough but at the end its peace and safety. Deep down its icy.. the protection of fire itself and others around. The mix is what is really beautiful being able to see the complete opposite things interact in a act of love

Waking up every morning with the biggest weight on my shoulders. It feels like I've breathed in gallons of water. I'm drowning in my thoughts and problems that i haven't taken a single breathe. Realizing the two roads in front of me not knowing what they mean, standing in the in between getting lost in my thoughts. I don't want to see the bigger picture because I’m afraid of the out come. What lays ahead ? Is it a bright or dark future ? Will it consume my happiness or bring happiness? Those questions run through my mind like a tiger running after prey but unable to catch what it really wants.