guards! read me my bedtime yaoi

my liege if you keep having all of the guards come to your bedroom to read you bedtime stories, there will be no one to actually guard the castle during that time!

any intruders are welcome to join us for story time

my liege the enemies to lovers yaoi is affecting your perception of the danger of real enemies.

when will it be my turn.

holy fuck

happy one year to bedtime yaoi

#if someone shouted something racialized at a food service worker and he pulled swords#if be like ‘yeah that’s fair’

in 2026 i am wishing for all of us the energy of bilbo baggins, who was headhunted for an extremely well paid role he had no qualifications or experience for, blagged the interview, and within his first week found a magic ring that does the job for him

Glad to see we’re all in agreement that cats talk like disparaged victorian children

I am so incredibly glad we finally moved on from "i can has". Cats are clearly smart enough for advanced sentence structure and dumb enough to draw entirely incorrect conclusions about what they're talking about.

Can haz snackytreat

it’s so magical and beautiful that there are sprawling interconnected cave systems carved deep into the earth by various geological forces and you don’t have to go in them. there are miles and miles of stone passageways in total darkness that require you to exhale all the air out of your lungs to squeeze through parts of them and you don’t have to be there. some of these squeezes are underwater and require cave divers to take off their oxygen tanks and push them through ahead of them and me i am above ground looking at the sky as we speak. there are untold subterranean wonders no human has ever seen and i will not be the one to discover them #grateful #blessed

just saw a "only one bed" fic with the major character death warning

#i guess that's one way to solve that problem

“This bed ain’t big enough for the both of us.”

where is my favorite painting i need to find my favorite painting