a blushing boy.

" I won’t drop it. Why  the hell won’t you tell me?”

" I   won't  tell  you  because you already  know  what  you  did   -- &  if    you   can't   even   fucking  remember,     I    guess     being  an asshole is just in your nature. "

" Fucking shit. I’d like                    to know.”

" Who the fuck do you think you are ? Drop it. " 

" No. Actually. What’s Your problem with me?”

" Nothing. You're a fucking angel.   Let's    just  drink." 

" And why’s that? Like       actually.“

" If you have to ask  you'll never know. " 

" Only y o u,                          darling. "

" Somehow I find that  difficult   to  believe. " 

"Seriously.”

" Has anyone ever told you  you're  a  massive  jerk? " 

"And why n o t ?”

" Seriously? " 

she throws him  a  strange  look back over her shoulder, pausing for just a moment.  "what’s that supposed to mean?" she’s mostly just curious as she asks, before going back to her fridge, pulling out what she wants to make for dinner.

he feels a slight bump  in  the  conversation, but he does his best to try and explain.  " i suppose i just mean,    they    don't  deserve   someone   who's    can't  be  entirely committed to them. someone who always   has   something else on  his mind. man, i sound like a complete jerk, don't i? " 

she liked what the two seemed to have. it wasn’t strictly friendly or flirting— the two loved to dance the line and they seemed quite content not having it be one way or the other.

      " happiness is always an admirable trait.         it's hard to be  happy  y'know?    all    the         people   who   get   annoyed   b  y it have         probably never experienced   happiness        themselves. "  her smile is certainly infectious as he feels the corners   of   his lips curl up  into a small smile.   happiness could  never be   a bad thing in   a person, it  was admirable and brave to be happy in a world such as this. 

" yeah — — it’s hard to figure it out a lot of the time, isn’t it? something that you think is right doesn’t always end up that way. “

his thoughts have never once  shown any sort of clarity,   generally leaving  behind a mess of mental breakdowns.             " yeah. the kids  are   good   though,         i've got a good bunch, they deserve        better than a restless man like me. "  a small laugh ensues. 

█ ▌✞  ❝ && why should I accept it? ❞

" because i'm  having  a  rough  day and sometimes i say things i don't mean. " 

"Join me for a drink?                          Please?”

      " I don't think so. " 

█ ▌✞  ❝ Well it’s what you SAID, so. ❞

" I know that's what I said, just -- whatever.   M'sorry,   alright ?  " 

she shrugs as she unpacks all of her produce from  her  bags.              “it’s alright. a lot of work, but              it’s what i want to be doing, so              i can’t really complain.” she smiles to herself as she moves the food to the fridge.            ”how’s that going? i always             kind of thought that i could              maybe teach if the law thing            didn’t work out, but…”

it's so hard to do what you want to  do sometimes,    so he's glad that  she's found her calling.   he leans  against the counter-top pondering where his own  career  was really  going.  " it's alright, i'm not sure if it's what i  want  to do for the rest  of my life    --    it just doesn't really  click you know ? " his words fumble as he tries to explain what exactly he means. 

" life certainly isn’t fair, but you can’t think like that. when my younger brother died, i thought the world had ended. his pure soul was gone far too soon, and my darkness was still here. i know it hurts, but you’re still here though, and that means something. you can become anyone and live life to the fullest, i’m sure whoever you lost would be proud of that. “

life as just a game of who would receive the most hurt in a lifetime or two.  death  never killed anyone,   it was simply just the byproduct of people.   people    were  extremely good at hurting  other people.  " i'm sorry for your loss. " he didn't even know what sorry meant  sometimes,  it  was just a formality. "   & what if you've  lost everyone? " 

he doesn’t mind waiting for a response, but when the other answers, he rolls his eyes as if it’s the simplest thing in the world. out of his bag, he grabs his copy of paradise lost - one of the only two books he carries around, as the other is the Quran - and tosses it to the other. “go read. i’ll take care of the other things. it’s good to relax for a while, after all.”

             his eyes light up once he sees the novel, and a part of him just wants to grab it and take off, but that would be rude. it's important to stay in reality, even if you don't want to sometimes. he catches the book, scanning over the cover in wonderment a gracious smile becoming his expression. " thank you, really. but i'm not just gonna bounce, that'd be all kinds of rude."