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My faith isn’t shaken by tragedy; if anything, it’s strengthened. God loves us enough to give us real free will. If He didn’t love us, He would force obedience. But free will means person A’s choices can become suffering for person B. For God to stop person A would mean loving them conditionally, and that’s not who He is. Juxtaposition of the beauty and danger of our free will is simply part of the human condition. Trusting God through willful obedience is how we honor Him while we’re still of the world. We obey out of gratitude for His love and the freedom He gives us. Scripture explains this perfectly.

Seeing free will as part of God’s plan helps me understand the Trinity. Our consciousness and soul are limited by the flesh, and anything in the flesh that bends toward harm is the devil exploiting that freedom. Rejecting a whim of the devil is accepting salvation and glorifying His name, Emmanuel. God’s love is the only perfect love. To love like Jesus is to love not in spite of flaws, but through them.

Stop blaming God; start blaming the devil. If we don’t want awful things to happen, our job is to go and make disciples of men. If that’s not your aim, then complaining about life being unfair doesn’t make sense. If that is your aim, then life’s unfairness becomes something to rejoice in. Because seen through that lens, life is, in fact, fair.

The nature of suffering is beyond human comprehension, that’s where faith comes in.

I don’t need to defend my faith. I know what I know, and I believe with my whole heart. My faith is intrinsic. To me, my faith is so wildly logical that I get confused by suggestion of being disingenuous. But because I want others, especially the people close to me, to find peace in that same love, and because I refuse to be complicit in blasphemy of my God, I’ve been working on how to articulate this idea more clearly. I need my children to know the love of God.

And ironic because you assumed my intent and admonished me for your assumption that i was making an accusation of your intent.

I’m getting sick of being gaslit into accepting belief that my literal language is a reasonable act of compromised integrity.

I said exactly what i said. No subtext. I didn’t say anything precarious or insinuating, so being responded to with a notion that IS malicious because declaring my action calculated and cruel is insulting and suggests an inaccurate and harmful narrative of me. I am done being complicit to my own slander at my own expense.

Say what you want but don’t manipulate me into agreeing that i have initiated plausibility by not accounting for someone else not being smart enough to interpret my literal language without hurting their feelings.

That suggests that my feelings are less valuable. That suggestion is blasphemous. I will no longer be participating in enabling or engaging with a mockery of my God.

& i literally mean that.

If my persecution is utilitarian and in the name of God, I trust in him.

But what I have decided that I am not going to be doing is submitting to a delusion and pretending I’m being entitled or that I care what someone thinks of me or that I’m blaming myself for something when I am simply existing as a human in a society that requires efficient exchange of information for pragmatic executive function. Period.

You assumed subtext. I’m not mitigating someone else’s projection of insecurity with a systemic rejection of intellect. I’m not going to disavow science and perpetuate ignorant appeasement by coddling stupidity at the expense of proper grammar. I’m not accepting responsibility for not drawing egregious conclusion of someone’s integrity. That’s ridiculous.

I don’t ask questions that I don’t know the answer to. I ask until I form an answer. Then I state my curated conclusion.

From there we can debate theory if necessary, but I’m so tired of defending positions i do not hold and have not declared. I have mindfully revised my language to almost absolute zero in order to do every single thing in my power to make sure my expression is an accurate reflection of a thought that i would like to communicate in an interaction.

I’ve already taken every precautionary utilitarian measure to mitigate my inadvertent contribution to your pain by way of honed linguistics. Your conviction isn’t coming from me. My conviction IS coming from you. An entitlement to obtuse intransigence removes relativity of responsibility for how you are feeling.

It’s really difficult for me to understand why it is not understood that harmonious life and peace on earth is absolutely achievable by way of loving like Jesus. We are not in eternity and are bound by the worldly restraint. As such, the only single thing we can do is do our very best to work towards achieving total neutralization of our flesh.

It’s actually not a hard concept but I know my frustration is of the flesh too and to that qualm God said to “go and make disciples”.

I’ve been hyperfixated on attempting to explain my Autistic hyperverbalism in a plea for consideration. But I’m not begging for a recalibrated whim of the devil. Kindness does not include an entitlement of external responsibility for the refinement thereof. When fleshly semantics are neutralized, kindness can be an element of discern.

Now that I’ve explained the caveats of my frustration, I will further explain why establishing the foundation of this initial logic is so critically important.

Possibly

Lol

A quick goog of his name immediately validated my suspicion of these types of compliments.

I can’t help but to feel annoyed with my mind and my spirit for not being strong enough to reject the whim of the devil when i was so mindful of the threat being so palpable and critical to my sense of self. I promised myself that i wouldn’t, couldn’t let the pain of a moment become who i actually am. Then i did exactly that in such an understated and slow shift of my personality. I’m mean and projecting a superficial hurt rooted in the depth of my shame.

I have some things to work on.

In the past year I’ve loved 2 Rainbow kitten surprise songs that Lee and Beth had showed me without even thinking about it. I explore playlist enhancers every season or so, but every few years my sonic pleasure is beyond reason & i submit my heart to a brand new sound of love and understanding.

Yesterday i heard polite company out of nowhere that happened. I know it sounds kind of cheesy and gay to say, but that kind of discovery is so special and the joy i find in that is palpable and pleasing to my spirit. The people i love in life and viewers of my snap streams of song are obviously aware and supportive of my love, of course. But im the only one who knows how many literal hours of music on repeat over and over and over. The way i start to literally eat breathe and drink the tunes is too wild to exploit bc it is lightly medical in action.

Today I opened my box of letters that I’ve never sent & decided to open them up instead of leaving them sealed for their ultimately imaginary delivery. The stream of my consciousness is almost harmonic with the sentiment of meaningful expression, the ache of forgotten feeling, & the art in not only the awareness of, but in the act of this pattern of behavior alone. Every single time I write a letter, it never occurs to me that i may not send this one either. I don’t even consider that it will never reach the audience of its intention. I like that about myself.

Opening the letters has me curious about the subconscious sense of self that has captured, articulated, & penned such literary wonders of love. My mind has been operating as a human that can express how they feel, does express how they feel, and has expressed how I feel.

I sure do love an Ed Sheeran performance.

Will circle back.

King David first person proved to exist in Bible

Psalms written by “mature” King David, speaking of his journey in retrospect.. beginning with early shepherding

Musician, writer, poet, warrior

This song is sad but it makes me happy that I could never relate.