Midnight Star

Another year has come through the door and my heart hugs your name a little harder , soaking in every bit of warmth it radiates. I remember the fight we had couple of days ago and the ones before that and I remember typing down a line " even in silence , nothing echoes louder than your name , moving through the hallway burried under my ribcage". And the truth is your presence has been engraved too deep into my system- which makes me confused sometimes about where do I end and where do you begin. It's not about losing my personality , it's just bending myself at the right places and blunting the rough edges around the right corner to fit into the puzzle , right beside you. But fitting also means helping you cut out the unnecessary parts from your piece and teach you how to bend just 73° to meet my rounded angle at 107°.And somewhere between all these learning and unlearnings , 2023 has silently turned into 2026 and the boundary between me and you blended a little bit more than before. As the new year smiles upon us , waiting for us to take a step into the mist of unknown and all its unexpected turns , I want you to know that - if the nights ever become too cold or the days feel unbearably silent , just remember there is someone who has already made a deal with God to keep you safe , to keep you happy and who is willing to make hundred deals more without hesitation - if it means those brown eyes will never lose their sparkle.

I look at him and there are stars burning inside the fissures of his sunlit brown iris.

You said you would kill those monsters who haunts my memory , what if they are fragments of my soul? Will you kill me then or will you give them shelter under the warm shade of your affection? What if I am made of countless broken promises and a vengeful heart? What if there is blood in my tears , blood that yearns for revenge? Will you wield the sword for me while I hide behind the shield of thorns?