Spilled Thoughts And Such

I have recently come out to my parents and immediate family. I assumed it would be very difficult and hard for them to accept. And my assumption was right. However, what isn't right is the fact that I am being prayed for, that God would "wreck my life" in hopes that I would turn back to Him and see that this lifestyle I have chosen will ultimately lead to eternity in hell... This... My friends, are why so many people are not Christians and would rather not be involved in Church or have anything to do with Christ... Luckily, my foundation is God and I will press on. But, how sad and livid does this make you?!? I'm just... Without words, beneficial words at the moment.. Ajskfktisnsndbdn...

When you find someone who makes you the happiest When you hold someone who makes you smile When you kiss someone who makes you feel alive for the first time When you love someone who also loves you back so deeply That, my friend, is to be cherished. cla71989

As I sit here and write out my story I begin to feel tears streaming down my face. Never thought I would get to this place. The place of coming face to face with my identity. These tears I shed are not of sadness But rather of joy from within I have finally started healing From years of suppression, guilt, and so called"sin." With each new word I type, my heart begins to race Hours and hours slowly pass by And these tears still stream down my face Breakthrough, just a small taste And it tastes so good.

It isn't until I get to my parents house that I begin to see a new perspective on life and this causes me to grow in my own understanding of God's love and my life as a Christian, a more liberal one. My parents are very conservative individuals and believe that I should live my life in a way that is exactly like theirs- the good Christian way of living. Do not misunderstand me, I love Christ but I am not the typical conservative Christian that doesn't smoke, drink or hang with those who do. I choose this lifestyle because I do not have any convictions whatsoever with hanging out with or partaking in these types of substances. The problem today is that many Christians are very narrow minded. It is as if we are all suppose to be,act, and carry ourselves the same way. But that is not how Christ intended us to live our lives. He didn't say, "live in a way that is exactly like your brothers and sisters." We are to live our lives, loving others the way that Christ would have and did love while on earth. Instead, many are more concerned with not hanging out with people who drink or smoke or cuss, because they are bad for you and can get you to do things you shouldn't do. So let's just recluse into our own bubble and not love others like Christ would and hide away from those who are seemingly different than us. Then we would be living in right standing with God.... I think not. And if I'm honest, we are all Gods children. Some have just acknowledged it, others are still searching. Love, unconditionally. Serve, wholeheartedly. Work out your own salvation. Don't let anyone else work it out for you. Because in the end, it isn't the others person life to live. It is yours. "So follow your arrow wherever it points."

I get pissy, I accuse with no charge. I say I'm sorry then complain about the same damn thing. I love and I cry. And I regret when I say some words. I hold on tight then push your feelings aside in a fight. I'm emotional and bruised and only want you, at the same time. You take me in, affirm your love and remind me that I am yours.