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He was annoyed with your weakness when it came to the Haitanis. You seemed to always indulge with whatever they wanted to do, even with the frenemy relationship you have with them. It's why he always ends up tagging along, no matter how many times you try to get him to stay back.

You agreed with the brothers and called him killjoy, stating he's always uptight and never wants to do anything fun. You guys were still young to party, in the future you'll never experience being a nineteen year old again. You were just trying to enjoy the fun moments of a young delinquent, not being up Mikey’s ass all the time.

It's just, it's not that he doesn't want to have fun, or to prevent you from having fun. But he just hates how easy it is for others to match with your personality, talking to you with no trouble like friends and colleagues do. He hates how easy you fall for that excuse of a man, Ran.

“Yoo, Koko,” Suddenly, the boy feels a hand patting his back, followed by new company standing shoulder to shoulder with him. 

He freezes, his plastic cup making a crunching noise from the strengthened grip. He looks to his right from where the pat comes from, seeing Ran leaning against the counter with his signature cocky smirk. It irked him that he had the audacity to do that.

“Having fun over here by yourself?” Ran jokes, removing his hand while gesturing to the fountain of punch in front of him. “You haven't gotten winked at yet?” he teases.

“Leave him alone, Ran” You scoff from Koko’s left, back leaned against the counter before raising a new filled cup to your lips. You’ve honestly lost count after your third cup, Koko didn’t though, he knows that's your seventh. 

His eyes look over to you, but you're focused on the liquid inside the cup entering your mouth. He hears Ran laughing behind him, followed by an amused groan that makes him want to punch the elder in the face. However, that thought washes away when you lower the cup and turn your head, [color] eyes meeting with his.

He jerks his head back, blinking away to his own cup before chugging the rest of it, acting as if you didn't just catch him staring. 

“Woah, Koko!” Your eyes widen along with the smile stretching on your lips, raising your right hand to pat the back of his shoulder. “You sure you can handle the hangover tomorrow?” You tease him, earning a shared laugh with Ran.

“Ohhh yeaah, it's your first time drinking stuff like this, huh?” The lilac-eyed man asks, not giving the boy a chance to answer since he’s too busy gulping down whatever is left in his mouth. “Speaking of, I’m gonna take Rindou a drink. Bastard has been blowing up my phone about it” Ran tsk, taking a brand new cup and nudging Koko aside to fill it up.

The boy bumps into you, gripping the edge of the counter to hold himself up which causes his empty cup to fall on its side. “Damn, are you drunk, Koko?” you ask, continuing to humor the situation with a hint of concern in your voice.

Koko doesn't respond, not even when Ran walks out of the kitchen, leaving you two alone with other strangers. Well, mostly strangers. From what you told them, you knew the host of the party, an old friend from middle school who invited you. Some of these people might be your old classmates, so why aren't you afraid they'll judge you for dropping out to become a delinquent?

Do they even know that you're part of that life? None of you guys are wearing your coats representing the gang, so that helps keeping it a secret. They're all dangled over your bikes left down the street, hidden away so no one steals them. Does being here make you regret following Mikey all the way through? Wishing all these people here were your friends instead of them?

“nghh” Koko suddenly groans, raising a hand to his forehead to comfort the pounding. He's only had three cups, all filled to the top, but only three. How can the rest of you drink closer to ten without feeling like shit? Was he really that much of a killjoy?

“Ahh, alright” you push yourself off the counter and face him, patting his shoulder. “You're gonna feel twenty times worse tomorrow, how about you stop for the night” you suggest with a small smile, one forced upon your lips. He knew you were bothered with his sudden pain. 

However, something snaps in Koko, making him feel the need to prove he wasn't going to wuss out with only three cups. When he turned to look at you, his eyes came across the cup in your hand still filled with punch. His own rolled off the counter awhile ago, and the bag of cups were now empty. He decided using yours won't be much of a problem.

He lifted himself up and reached in your direction, targeting the cup that was immediately pulled back by you. The lack of support made him stumble, finding the stable ability by holding himself up on your chest, all while one arm continues reaching for your cup.

Your other hand holds his shoulder, keeping him in place despite it meaning he's pushed up right against you. “Seriously, Koko, it's enough” you state, placing the cup down on the counter before capturing his wrist. 

“Whaat? No” He scrunches his face, shaking his head with genuine annoyance that makes you believe he's acting in a sober state. He rips his hand from your grip and pushes your arms down, keeping them there as he turns you two around so he's closer to the drink. 

You never knew Koko could be this stubborn, determined all for a halfway filled drink. “Koko, stop” you call, easily holding him back by pushing on his chest. 

“Koko stop” He mimicked, following it with a patronizing laugh. “I'm finally enjoying myself and you want me to stop?”

“You're not having fun” You tell him, shaking your head while looking at him eye to eye. “C'mon, I’ll take you home” you offer, trying to keep the conversation at a level one. 

He copies your head movement, giving a childish pout. “Why are you telling me I’m not having fun? What do you know about fun, huh? Just a minute ago you were letting Ran touch all over ya. You call that fun?” He scoffs with a tilt to his head. 

“I call it letting loose, y'know, pretending like I didn't just come from a meeting declaring war on our friends” you fire back, not stepping down from his challenging and teasing remarks. 

Koko disagrees with your reasoning, a cheap excuse to let yourself dance with the man who attacked and hated you at one point. He understands you miss all your friends, that you've accepted it's better for them to stay away, but is Ran really the person you think to run to first for comfort?

To let him flirt with you even though he knows you have no sincere interest in him, putting his hands on you because it's the only touch you get besides fighting. Oh but the way you look at him, not Ran. Him. 

Purposely locking eyes with him as Ran whispered stuff into your ears, letting him know you don't care for the man like Koko thinks you do. And he hates it, he hates playing this waiting game with you. Wondering when it'll be his turn to get the courage to understand what's so special about you that it attracts others.

Well, he's already taken an interest in you, mainly because you've two gotten closer over the years since Tomans disbandment. Besides Sanzu, you two were basically the others only friend, seeing each other everyday. He’ll watch from the sidelines as others shamelessly try to hit on you, only to be ignored because just like him, there's someone in the back of your mind that you're quite not over.

That's what pulled you two close, connecting because you both share the same problem. He’ll watch you try to move on, offering advice. You don't even attempt to help him, because it's been too many years and he's still hooked on the same person, while yours only lasted a few.

Now it's just the waiting game, and he's the only one that could put an end to it. 

A sigh breaks Koko out from his thoughts, and all of a sudden the rapid beating of his heart he had no idea about came to a calm pace, erasing the pounding from his ears. His vision clears, and you're still standing in front of him with a displeased expression. He feels the front of his shirt being pinched, so he looks down and is not surprised to see it's your doing.

“That ain't coming out” You state, releasing the white shirt he wears to reveal a red stain of punch, for when he chugged the cup earlier some had spilled out. He finally feels the sticky and gross texture left on his neck, making him flush in embarrassment – and because he was a bit tipsy. 

“If you want–”

“I'm gonna go wash my face” He cuts you off, denying whatever offer you were going to give him. This wasn't how it was supposed to go, he wasn't supposed to offend you because he was envying the fact Ran was brave enough to make a move on you. The only reason he should be jealous is if you reject him, but that hasn't even happened.

“Koko–” You reach an arm out but he pushes it down, turning on his heel and making his way out of the kitchen filled with others who don't pay a single look to the scene. You just stand there, standing there watching as he disappeared into the crowd, guilt starting to bubble up in your gut. And none of it was from the alcohol.

Koko started to feel as if he was sobering up with each step he took to the bathroom. Though, not sober enough to follow the hosts rules. The line to the bathroom was long, and he knew if he joined in then he'd be left with his thoughts and throw up from them, ruining the night even more.

So he walks to the stairs that are filled with people drunk or high out of their mind, even giving him directions to the bathroom upstairs because they've been using it the entire time too. He used the railings for support, looking over the room and taking in the sight of everyone pressed up against each other. He can't believe he just walked through all of that. 

Koko eventually found his way to the bathroom, the hall deserted with only faded music being heard. He opens the door and walks in, locking it behind him as his other hand twists the sinks handle. Warm water runs from the faucet, filling his cupped hands he feels tingling from the rush of adrenaline and embarrassment.

He needs to get back to his apartment, take a proper shower and down as many glasses of water as possible. He wanted the day to be new, where you and him can walk into a meeting and act as if nothing happened. To talk and act like friends without the knowledge that something is there. Was he the only one feeling it? Is that why you never made a move? Was he just like everyone else, interested in you and had to take a number? 

“fuck…” He whispers after splashing the first wave of water onto his face, some of it getting on his shirt. He doesn't even care anymore, after all it's already ruined with that pinkish-red stain. Why was he so difficult for himself?

Suddenly, there's a knock at the door, making him flinch and let the water overflow his cupped hands. “Koko?” you call from behind the wood, one hand on the knob as the other lays flat. 

He picks up his hunched form and grips the edge of the counter, looking at himself in the mirror with pity. Why were you still following him? He wants to ask you, but the other part of him feels his heart picking up speed.

“Can I come in?” 

He inhales a deep breath and stretches it out through his nose, closing his eyes as he convinces himself he's sober enough to pretend all of what happened tonight was already forgotten. His left hand reaches out and unlocks the door before dipping his head back down to the water, splashing himself some more.

Not even a second later the door opens, and you squeeze yourself through since the sink was right there. You shut the door behind you and lock it, keeping your back pressed against it with your hands holding the knob behind. You stare at him through the mirror with concern, and also guilt that the reason he's acting like this is because of you. 

He straightens himself up, but his head remains lowered in refusal to meet your eyes. He grabs the rag hanging on the wall before patting his face, dying the droplets of water running down his clear skin. He does all of this under your stare, waiting for you to say something, anything. It keeps quiet even as he wets the rag with the running faucet, feeling the tension grow thick.

Koko shuts off the water and finally looks into the mirror at himself, wringing out the washcloth ‘til it's not too dry and not too wet. He raises it to his neck, but the rough texture doesn't meet his skin, for you captured his wrist in your hand.

His eyes divert over to you in the mirror, but you're not waiting for him anymore. Your head is tilted to the side, your body somewhat too, wanting to meet with his eyes, not his reflections. The only reason it happened was because you used your other hand to softly take hold of the side of his face, turning his head to look at you.

Both of you are washed with hesitation, scared of the situation you’re both in. You look at each other with furrowed brows and softened eyes, lips sealed because there is nothing to be said.

You let go of his face and he holds it in place, watching as you focus your eyes on the washcloth you use to clean away the sticky liquid staining his neck. He turns his body to make it easier, mirroring yours which he can tell made your breathing stutter from the quick stop in gesture. 

You move onto the other side of his neck, wiping away the only stripe of dried punch. Then you wipe his jaw side to side, and then the corner of his lips even though he washed it away on his own. Your thumb follows after, drying it but it feels like smudging. 

You were wiping food that wasn't there, crumbs to be exact, but to Koko you were focused on him. Not the concern for your childhood friend, not his boss, him. 

“[name]...” he whispers, taking the rag from your hand and placing it on the sink. He then pushes some hair out of your face, palm cupping your jaw. He wants you to look at him, but your eyes are focused on the stain in the middle of his shirt.

Your hands slide up his chest, hooking over his shoulders before locking around his neck. His decision is made right then and there, the time he's gonna stop worrying for a second and grab a taste of what's so intriguing about you that it managed to have him thinking about you for so long.

He leans forward and you don't even have to think to do the same, connecting your lips that seal the longing crave. His hands drop to your waist, wrapping around your lower back and pulling your bodies close together until personal space isn't even a thing. He has you pinned against the door, digging his fingers into the back of your skin that has you losing because of his touch.

God does he just love the way you taste like cigarettes, the smell mixing with your perfume which just sets the perfect combination. He loves it so much that after you pull away to let out a shaky breath, he goes right back in but with more confidence and lust. He's practically hugging you at this point, nibbling on your bottom lip which has you raising your hands to cup the sides of his head.

You break the kiss to call his name, but your lips stay so close together that you're murmuring it into his mouth. “Koko–” you managed to breathe before he captured your mouth once more. “We shouldn't–” a breathy moan escapes your lips when he kisses you again, fingertips digging deeper into your skin that his fingernails will leave shapes.

His tongue finds his way past your lips and teeth, rolling it over with yours that instinctively takes action. The kiss is rushed with need, as if you both were truly two lovers who hadn't felt each other in years. 

“Why do you look at me when you're with Ran” he breaks the kiss for a moment, but of course the brushing of your lips doesn't leave. His eyes slightly open, lids lazily dropped while yours were wide. He feels your flustered breath and the way your lips shake against his own, caught off guard with his question and behavior overall. “When he whispers flirty things in your ear, why are you looking at me?” he asks again, close to giving your lips what they want.

“Why do you think?” your hand trails down to cup the side of his neck, thumb running along his jaw. Your other hooks over his shoulder, preventing him from moving backwards even though that wasn't his plan. “Because he's telling me to watch how jealous you get” your fingers trail up his scalp, leaving him goosebumps and a violent shiver to run down his spine.

“Jealous?” he scoffs, tilting his head as you do the same but in opposite ways. “Does he kiss you too?”

“no” you're quick to assure, promising him.

Your answer has him kissing you again, but this time his hands un-claw from your back and slide further down, past your ass and hooking around the back of your thighs. He hoists you up against the door which earns a gasp in surprise, along with your legs wrapping around his waist as your fingers tangle with his hair. 

He shifts you onto the counter, sitting you down and going back to holding you close. “Fuck [name]” he pants, easing the kiss into a slow, sloppy make out that's filled with tongue and heavy groans with each seal of the lips. 

“You act like– like you've been waiting– mm” you whisper between kisses, being stopped by a long and harsh one that has your closed eyes squeezing even harder. He bit your bottom lip, sucking on it before slipping his tongue back between your teeth.

You know he's been waiting, he knows you know that. You were mocking his desperation, the one-hundred percent he gave into making this enjoyable moment satisfying for the both of you. Because he knows you needed this attention just as much as he needed it, the lost touch of love that has you both making this mistake in finding comfort in the other.

Why couldn't it have been Ran, or even Shion you could be tangling with like this? There's other Kanto Manji members that are willing to make a pass at you, offering to replace the boy you thought was the one – not Koko, but another. And why were you the first girl he wanted to be with like this? For years it's always been...her. He's only ever thought of her, going as far as mistaking his friend for her. 

Because both of you knew, that deep down you both won't have the ones you truly love. You're forbidden to see them, rather they are alive or dead. So the next best thing is each other, getting rid of the tension both of you created that even Sanzu had the brains to point out. All of it was a mistake, because really you're only using each other to cope with what is lost.

“Hajime” You gasp, holding your hand over your mouth as his teeth graze the skin of your throat. Your tank top made it easy, sliding off one of the three-inch straps – and bra string – with his hand holding your jaw the other way to give him more space.

He licks a path up all the way to your jaw, eyes opened and carefully watching your beauty unfold. He inhales a guttural breath before leaving a kiss where his tongue had ended.

“Don't stop” you shamelessly beg, pulling him close by the back of his neck. 

God you were so fucking beautiful and perfect in every single way. Your facial expressions, the goose-bumping sounds– fuck, just all of it he was in love with. He doesn't have to explain himself to anyone why he's enjoying your presence, why he wants to shove it in everyone's face that you were begging him for his attention. 

Did the one you truly want make you feel this way? Did he have the [name] who answers to no man – except your boss – pleading for Koko to come closer and kiss her again? Did he have you losing all self respect for yourself to the point you're allowing Koko to strip you of your tank-top?

No, he doesn't think so.

Koko discards his one of too many collard shirts, reconnecting your lips as his hands find themselves pressing against your upper back. He sits you up straight so your fronts are pressed together, sharing each other's body warmth. 

He feels the stitches on your back as a result of your guys previous fight, getting cut deep enough to leave a sliced hole by your own damn switchblade stolen by Shion himself. Which is probably why he's not the one you're running to for stuff like this. 

The injury reminds him of who you guys are and what you do, the reason many of you delinquents are touch starved. Because you're so focused on fighting and getting on top that the concept of settling down with someone sounds impossible. It's why Koko is always saying relationships are a distraction and only slow you down, but yet here he is.

“You're so pretty” spills from his lips with a pleased hum. It was admirable how one who was so obviously insecure and boyish could be so breathtaking, literally.

“Shut up” you demand, furrowing your brows in offense. “Just kiss me”

He smirks against your lips, “yes ma'am” he teases.

His hands hold onto your clothed thighs as your arms hold him close from behind his head, carding your fingers through his hair as the kiss softened into a more gentle pace. You both became aware that this wasn't a dream, and that you're actually rule-breaking colleagues. That's why the kiss eased into a more shameful romantic way.

You'd be lying if you said you didn't have eyes on Koko even before Kanto Manji was formed. He was an attractive guy, still pulls off that red eyeliner, perfect curls, great sense in fashion, etc. But at the time you never even thought you'd be something more than acquaintances, because you still had that person you wanted stuck to your side. He was the only thing on your mind.

But after tonight, there's no coming back from the lines you've both crossed. The betrayal both of you share, lost in a cloud of desire. 

Suddenly, there's a vibration coming from the counter, ignored at first as you continue stealing each others breath. The second buzz has you both scowling in annoyance, until the third finally breaks you away.

One of your hands remain on the back of his neck, leaning a bit forward to grab the phone from your pocket. You look down at the device held between you two as Koko leaves kisses to your cheek, ignoring the distraction. 

“Shit” you pull away from him, eyes going wide in realization. “Fuck, it's Ran” you announce, making his eyes flicker over to your panicked ones. 

You answer the phone and hold it to your ear, slightly pushing Koko away by his chest. The boy in question watches as you converse with the brother on the other end, tone switched to normal as if you're not partially bare.

“What? Well why is that idiots first idea to beat him up?!” You turn annoyed, obviously Ran's doing. “Fine! I’ll find Koko and meet you guys there, just stop causing scenes” you finally state before ending the call, rolling your eyes with a dreading sigh.

You lean back against the mirror, it's cold glass forming goosebumps. One arm drapes over your stomach while the other rests over its wrist, licking your lips as the definition of patience leaves your mind.

“What?” Koko questions, standing between your legs once again and placing his hands on either side of your hips. 

You bite the inside of your cheek at the gesture, for the phone call made you realize where you guys were and what led up to it. All seven of those drinks you had, forgotten due to your sobering head. You start to feel bad, like a piece of shit because you know this is all a mistake. Not some fun little one you can laugh about later, but one you know both of you will regret.

“Rindou got into a heated argument and punched a guy, so they fled” you inform, sitting back up and finding your hand on the back of his neck despite your foolish realization. “And it's getting late, so we should go too” 

Your touch wasn't the same, he felt the hesitation in it. And your eyes were filled with guilt that concluded him to one thing. You were regretting the moment you shared with him in this bathroom. You were regretting him and the attention you seeked for.

“[name]–”

“I shouldn't have let this happen, I’m sorry” you apologize, pushing him away again and standing from the counter. You're quick to pull over your tank top, but it doesn't hide the evidence of betrayal. You toss him his shirt and he redresses, quick so he doesn't lose you.

“Wait,” he grabs your arm, but you brush him off.

“We were both drunk and won't recall this tomorrow, okay?” you state, engraving it into his mind that even though the chances of remembering it were close to one-hundred, he still has to play dumb. 

“You regret it?” he asks, wrapping his hand around the doorknob so you couldn't leave.

“We can't do this, Koko” you look off to the side in shame and insincerity. “It's not good for either of us. If we let it go on it'll get in the way of Kanto Manji, and our only priority should be Mikey. Not each other” you remind, hugging yourself because it suddenly became cold.

He doesn't like the way you say his name now, regret spiking your tone. And he hates the fact that those are a mixture of words he'd say in the past, one's he would use to convince you that love had no place in the delinquent life. He hates that you listened to him, because now his own advice was biting him in the ass.

“Maybe if we could just do this occasionally” he cups the side of your face, being the one to beg now. 

“No, Koko. I'm sorry for leading you on like that but we have to end it here before it gets worse” you repeat yourself, but you can't find the courage to leave his touch. It's too warm and comforting that you wanna punch yourself for wanting to reject it. 

“Then let's go to my place and talk this out. We can make it work” He tries again, letting go of the doorknob to cup the other side of your face as he goes to close up the space again. 

You softly scoff, turning your face out of his hands with an attempt to hold an annoyed smile. “We both know if I walk through that door with you, there's no coming back from it. We can't even come back from this” you use a finger to point back and forth at you guys. “We don't want to make this work, Koko. There's nothing to work with. If anything, we’re just using each other” you finally let spill, feeling your chest tighten the second it left.

Why were you talking for him? Who's we? He doesn't give a shit if you're using each other, if tomorrow morning he’ll wake up and go, ‘fuck, maybe I shouldn't have done that’. He doesn't care, he wants you. He wants you to touch him more, to take care of him like you were doing earlier, to prove to others he's not a killjoy and can move on from what is dead. The last one may cancel out his whole argument but it's the process of moving on, he wants to move on with you.

For years to come you'll both serve under Mikey and you can already assume it'll be something big, an organization you'll all have a huge part in. So for these upcoming years you'll still see each other everyday, will remember this night you guys broke free of all self-respect, and will always act like nothing is there.

“Then use me” 

Your eyes snap hard over to his, lips parting in quick disbelief at his words. He was crazy, desperate for mistakes like this to happen again. Why was he so insisting? He can't possibly be serious. use him? 

“Use me 'til you’re satisfied” he continues, placing his hands on the counter beside you, leaving you no place to go. “Use me for him, and I’ll use you for her” he negotiates, staring deeply into your eyes with nothing but determination to catch you feeling the same way. 

He hates lying to himself, but for you he’ll risk it all. He’ll tell you to use each other, for you to think he's who you want and call him by a different name during moments like these. And then he’ll do the same with you. Yeah, that's what will happen. Just like you, he’ll– oh who is he kidding? He's only saying all of this for you to touch him again.

He can't even force himself to mistake you for the eldest Inui. When you look at him and see whoever it is you want, he can only stare at you. Literally just you. Your [color] hair, [color] eyes, [color] skin and just god dammit all of it! When the focus is on you or when his mind even has a single thought about you, Akane is nowhere in sight – metaphorically and physically. It's only ever just been you for these past months whenever he craves attention and touch.

If letting you use him is the key to finding himself in moments like these again, then you better believe he’ll lie just for you.

He leans forward, stopping halfway in the few inch gap between your faces. He's looking at you and you're looking through him, a hand slowly but surely holding the side of his neck while the other cups his face. And in that moment Koko realizes your touch is no longer warm, but cold as a result it wasn't meant for him.

Though, as you lean forward and meet him halfway, you both share the flush feeling heating your faces. The goosebumps trailing your skin as his arms wrap around your lower back, holding you close in a gentle and steady embrace. The satisfaction he feels to taste and smell you so closely again, wishing he had a candle that was a mixture of your signature perfume and cigarettes.

The kiss wasn't rushed or filled with need like earlier. It was slow and peaceful, learning the shape of each others mouths and the timing when it's appropriate to pull away and catch a quick breath. It was a beautiful feeling to have, one that warmed Koko's heart with hope and good intentions.