light the candle before you curl up on the floor. the bathroom is standard, recommended, accessible. you can run the shower (but know you’re wasting water so take less time when you do this) or turn on the exhaust fan. maybe you’ll need both. you can now hold vigil. you have 10 maybe 15 minutes to fall apart now. more time if he is asleep or distracted. don’t be too loud, you have less time if you get too loud. pull yourself back together if he comes knocking, now you’ll have to make an excuse though. don’t make a mess that he will question, better yet do some light tidying before you leave. notice the candle now, so symbolic of your fragile state in a sick ironic sense. compare it to you, how finite it is. lit up just for you, just like you’re meant to be for him. alright time’s up. wash your face afterwards and blow out the candle. get back to your duties.