HEY YOU SEXY PANDA

Car problems are great bc I can finally get that disgusting $600 that I hated out of my bank account

idk this is just funny to me

OCD recovery is cosmically unfair because it's the only disorder i know of where the treatment is 'okay! now make yourself feel worse'

Victor Frankenstein after achieving the impossible and building a fucking person from scraps of the dead: Oh god, ew, ew it's ugly! Yucky! Yucky! Gross! Ew! Ew! Yucky! Yucky! Gross! Ew!

Huge shout to my friend from an undergraduate philosophy program who started working out every single day, not for health benefits or to become conventionally attractive or whatever, but because -- and this is a direct quote -- he was concerned that otherwise he might "become lost in the world of signs and forget the things they signify". I have thought about this every single time that I've worked out since.

YES

bros never woken up to ash and dust

Have you ever considered that Sisyphus might've just been in for the love of the game? My bus driver hits the same curb every morning

meeting a guy who is like "wow...youre so interesting and mysterious...i have never met a girl like you. so unconventional, its like you dont care what other people think" and i go "my friends think i am autistic"

If you are weird and unsettling then its "uncomfortable" but if you are weird and unsettling and have big boobs then its "intriguing"

Dio lackeys are always saying shit like “Lord Dio will be so pleased when he hears tell of my deed! He shall reward me!” I don’t know how to tell you but Dio does not give a fuck

Dio is standing in front of his mirror testing selfie angles right now and to be honest he’s kind of hoping you die