Idiot's diary

Doodles || Hawks

Loosely based on "A Gilded Cage is Still a Cage" by @cuspidgoddess (great work! I enjoyed it)

[Long; tldr at the bottom] Thoughts while I drew this, and disclaimer: I'm no author, just someone who can't shut up sometimes when inspired

Family LoV and complicated relationship with the HPSC. Not quite bashing like in the fic, but still shady and contributed to Keigo's lack of self-worth and tendency to keep a tight leash on his more mutant instincts until Tokoyami and the league encouraged him out of it.

Dabi spoils him and calls him pretty bird. At this point, it's a dabihawks headcanon that I'm sticking to.

searched google: "do hawks mate for life?" Answer: if conditions allow, then yes. OKAY THEN. Noted

It's hard to say what the future will hold what with Keigo's life being a complete mess, but he's willing to latch on to Dabi for as long as he's allowed to. Forever, preferably. If the way he melts into putty under Dabi's hands instead of flinching away from it is any indication. Tokoyami being the first person he allowed himself giving physical affection to and that was more of a paternal connection than the fluttery feeling he gets whenever he thinks of Dabi's blue, blue eyes.

Been enchanted with him since the early days when they've first met and Dabi finally looked at him with a less wary/hostile gaze. When the moonlight glinted onto his staples just right (blame his bird fueled fascination with shiny things), and the low, albeit sarcastic croon of acknowledgement from the man, he was completely gone. The chirp -with a pathetically pinning lilt to it- that rose out of him in response was embarrassing but worth it when it made Dabi chuckle.

He'd totally understand if Dabi woke up one day and decided he was more trouble than it was worth though. No, really. He'd probably cry and hopefully not pluck too many of his feathers again out of stress but he'll live. He's made of sterner stuff, been trained to handle sterner stuff. It's fine.

His handlers have always commented on how troublesome he was when they thought he couldn't hear him. The league told him they were lying though, that he was perfect just as he is and, obvious and ironic circumstances aside, made a great hero, but surely there was a kernel of truth to it? Not all of it could be lies.

Someday, he doesn't know when, but someday for sure, the growing affection he can see in Dabi's eyes will fade away and would be laced with annoyance the way some of the few, nicer handlers had during his brief time with them training pre-debut. It's inevitable.

Maybe Dabi would get annoyed with his constant chirping, trills and whistles. Maybe he'll get tired of seeing his bedroom cluttered with trinkets Keigo would collect, his closet with a significant amount of clothes missing and said clothes occupying the bed, arranged in a way that soothed Keigo's brain but probably disgruntled and looked like a mess to Dabi even if he didn't show it. Maybe he'll get tired of lugging him around and then tell him to use his legs or wings when both are perfectly functioning and aren't there for decoration. Keigo just can't help that he likes being carried around sometimes. Dabi indulges it but surely, he'll eventually reach his limit? Maybe he'll scratch Dabi's sensitive skin by accident too many times with his talons and stupid inability to NOT grip on things whenever he's excited or stressed and get a face full of flames for it. Honestly, he's surprised it hasn't happened yet considering how the man acts with other people.

Dabi's gentleness with him? Probably a fluke that wouldn't last. He figures he just looks too pathetic to get angry at. He figures the rest of the league view him similarly too and indulges him the same way one would indulge a stray, enough to feed it and keep it warm a few times but will ultimately move on to live their lives. Never mind that he's there to "spy" on them when he's doing a trash job at it. They probably already know but indulge him anyway out of pity. Whatever it is, Keigo is still grateful with the attentiveness and care they've showed him so far but will back away once he sees that he's overstayed his welcome.

At least he still has Tokoyami by his side who looks up to him and sees him like an older brother, maybe even a parent. Enhanced because of the mutant bird traits they share and the loneliness Tokoyami would see hidden underneath Keigo's smile.

Sometimes Tokoyami is swept up by Keigo's cheerful public persona when they're both out patrolling the streets and being bombarded by people, admittedly gets annoyed by it when sweet, doting Keigo turns into Hawks and makes him run after the hero like the early days of his internship when they weren't as close and misunderstandings were everywhere. But then he'd remember the sad tilt to his expression and the crushing hug before leaving with a red feather tucked into his pocket whenever they have to separate at any length of time. His own loneliness at not having anyone to welcome him back home making his and Dark Shadow's heart hurt.

Tokoyami still doesn't know what to make of Keigo's relationship with the league, dreads the aftermath of it all really if it turns sour (Dark Shadow is more optimistic than him and calls him out for his paranoia), but he'll always be in Keigo's corner. Just give him a few more years and he'll be strong enough to protect Keigo against any villain or hspc-shaped threats on his own and from the shadows, although he'll grudgingly allow Dabi to get a few hits in since it seems like he'll be a more permanent fixture in their life if the man has anything to say about it.