Shake well before use.

i am so lucky someone took the time to listen.

i am so lucky i have two friends three friends and a sister. 

i am so lucky i feel so grateful

because i am a heavy load to carry

and they too have loads to carry

but they took the time

and they listened and they took the time

and they helped me think

today is just an account. 

it’s ok to cut people off. 

you can just rest today. 

today is just a day

and there are so so so many.

the other day i tried to kill myself with my leggings

it almost worked

so that’s how it feels to choke

its painful

the other day i tried my charger. 

it also hurt

the plastic against my skin it ripped

it hurts

but thats who it is

that was just a day

and today is just another day

its a 950 day 

24 hours

and I can stay here

i dont know when the day ends and when it starts. 

it’s 2 hours past my time. 

but they haven’t. 

Do you think I left?

or did they forget I was here?

or did they hear me cry and thought, let’s just let her be. 

eitherway im thankful

you never really fully understand

when you’re young.. it all sounds hip

when people say “i’m so tired”

but you were really tired. 

but now you’re 28 and really.. now I know

this is getting “old”

my fingers are slowly losing their feeling. 

i am scared but let’s not make a big deal out of it. 

if i lose them then they’re gone. 

God know what these fingers have done

where these have gone. 

what i have lost. what’s done is done?

i can’t feel my fingers 

and sometimes i shake uncontrollably. 

did i spell that correctly?

i drop things and I can’t draw a line

i struggle to drag things. but i do drag things; you know.

i cant feel my fingers

how does one not get better with time?

wrong choices. 

i have let the world end in my bed and i do not get up.

i seem to be hallucinating waiting for something , someone to drag me out of these sheets

these sheets feel like soil

when i was young.. i did’t understand..

why they would say.. “Soiled sheets”

i guess this is why. 

these sheets feel like soil.