Get Lost & Find Yourself

The ‘Barbie PC’ by Patriot Computer (1999) 

You know, I never quite realized when I got here. When I stopped being such a strange character in a familiar world. When depression would take hold of every corner of who I was & drag me down whispering, “stay with me”, each day. I’d rail lines & lines of drugs and drank till it outweighed my blood. Then, I woke up into today. I used to be such a muted color. Nothing hurt. Nothing mattered. Nothing worked. I’d inebriate myself to an oblivion hoping that one day I just wouldn’t wake up. But I sit here on this day in November in 2018 & I scoff with a big “huh” & wonder how I ended up so happy. How me, Stephanie, a girl dragged into the deepest pit, made it out on the other side. I don’t know how I got here or when it happened but it’s so liberating to know that I’ve shed the skin of a crippling life that I know of no more. I’m so happy & I can say with my whole heart, I’m not depressed anymore. Maybe it’s hiding. Maybe it’s gone. But, I don’t care. I AM NOT DEPRESSED & I’ll scream it from now until forever bc I never thought I’d see the day in my 25 years of life :3