atelophobia;☽

so people still Tumblr or no? 🫶🏻

I’m writing on my Tumblr again, cuz I have nobody to run to, even if I want to run to you; it will be just another fight again. My eyes are crying, my heart hurts, my mind is all over the place, my whole system is just very depressed because of you. I guess, I have to put up with all of this over and over again because I truly love you,. I don’t know when all these pains will stop. I just wish you’d find me, approach me when I stray away. I just wish you wouldn’t get mad when I’m mad. I just wish you’d give me reassurance at times like this. I just wish you’d listened and acknowledge my feelings, my side. I just wish you’d let down your pride for me. I’m always sorry just cause I just want US to be in good terms again, I just want you settled and calm again, I just want to make you happy, I just want our relationship to last, I just want us forever, but it won’t cost a $ or it won’t hurt to be sorry.

But can’t you feel? can’t you see? everything I do is dedicated to you, just for you, only for you, all for you yet every time I open up; shits gets switched up, where I’d be sorry for feeling things, where I’d feel guilty for expressing my genuine feelings, where I’d feel pathetic for begging for reassurance from you, I don’t ask for too much but to be heard, be acknowledged and be understood. That’s all I need... but my side gets push asides all the time just for everything to be alright, so you don’t get upset anymore. I surrender my pride, my feelings and everything for you, you are my first love; thats why I’m doing all the best that I can to protect the love, spark and patience for you; but you keep giving me reasons to question your love for me.