Ik we all on here trying to romanticise the fuck out of this shit to deal with it but does anyone else get that impending sense of overwhelming sadness when they can’t remember the last six months of their life. Or when I lie to everyone around me or have to throw away the cakes your little sisters make you. Or watch the sadness in my mother’s eyes as I weigh out cucumber while she cooks for everyone else. I have to lie to everyone around me constantly, lying through my teeth as I tell my friend I am trying to get better knowing damn well I am activly just giving in to everything. I tell myself I have it under control, but I know I can’t stop. I binge sometimes, but I don’t ever eat normally. I can’t stop counting, or restricting. Why does the idea of eating normally make me feel so dirty? When did it get to a point where goung to sleep full upsets me? I had a life before this, I was excited and happy and so bright and I had so many dreams. I had so much. I’m so dull now and I have no idea where my sickness ends and I start and I can’t separate the two anymore. I have no idea who I am, what I like. I don’t remember anything anymore. All of this dor what? Actually who am I doing this for anymore?
annaxmalina
pixelskylines
vaporwave
kianamaiart
blakekathryn
gummygunk
