HerToy

*note: please honor this caption by reblogging it WITH the attached article.  I’m usually okay when something I have written has been taken away from the intended caption.  It bothers me some because of the work put into combining both the caption and the writing, but I kind of get it–pictures speak louder than words.  BUT, I don’t want this one to be turned into something I never intended it to be.  So, if you reblog, please honor this wish. 

What Does a Girly Boy Need?

There are many things that Girly Boys need.  We need panties, clothes, shoes, etc.  Yes, we need sex too.  But none of that is what this posting is about–at least not completely.

I have found that there are some things that I need in my girly boy life that are important.  When it comes down to it, I don’t think we can call most of these essentials, yet they are certainly emotional and affirming.  I have no doubt that you could add to the list.  Feel free to do so if you choose to share the article and caption.  It’s not my complete list, but I think it’s a good one.  Here we go…

1) A Girly Drawer:  I remember what it was like handing my fiance a key to my house.  It was actually quite innocent, but it was something very special.  It was a way for me to say “You are welcome here any time.”  It was also very special when she, now my wife, offered a small drawer in her clothes chest for me to store my growing collection of panties and what few bras I have.  That was her way of saying, “You are welcome to wear panties, any time (even though there are some limits).”  For other items, I have boxes stored in secret places.  But knowing that I have my own girly drawer is a stamp of acceptance.

2) Girly Space and Time: As much as I talk about being girly, someone might think that I live in girliness 24/7.  In heart, perhaps so.  It’s just not possible in my circumstances.  To have a space to dress, act, move, talk, and feel girly is second to none.  Add to that, some extended time in girliness, and it’s like a dream come true.  I get a lot of space and time in my early morning workouts where Candie is free to be fit and girly and left alone.  But then there are some other special spaces and times like outings, drives, and, though I have never experienced one, crossdressing meet-ups.  A girly boy needs time and space to be girly. It’s never enough to have ultra-private, quickie, secretive, dress-up sessions.  Not everybody can afford to be openly forward, but none of us needs to feel isolated or backwards.  Having time and space is another cue of acceptance.

3) Girly Friend(s): I’m lucky enough that my wife is my safe person with whom I can be girly.  Be sure of it, she still wants her man and I am more than happy to oblige.  I have needed her in my girly life.  I didn’t realize that until everything became open between us.  Having someone special with whom you can share your femininity openly is not only fun, it’s relaxing and freeing.  A friend who accepts your girliness is always a bestie.

4) Girly Entertainment:  I wasn’t sure how to label this one.  I was thinking of chick flicks, spa days, shopping trips, window browsing, nature walks, girls nights, etc.  It’s not just having space and time and a friend.  It’s more than tagging along as a boy.  It’s doing girl-like things in girlish ways the way girls would do girl things.  Girly boys need experiences because they will learn more on a girly adventure than they could ever learn from reading a blog article about five things that a girly boy needs.

5) Girly Terms of Endearment: It might not seem like a big one, but it is.  I’ve written above what is basically matters of acceptance–the need to be accepted.  When my wife calls me “Her girly boy,” “girly”, “girl”, “sissy”, “little cheerleader”, “pretty boy”, “lesbian sex kitten”, etc. it is her way of giving my girly self some acknowledgement, which, in my opinion, is a step beyond acceptance.  Yes, she has called me those things!  Well, except “lesbian sex kitten”.  Interestingly, I can’t recall that she has ever called me Candie.  I won’t push that one.  It’s enough to know that she acknowledges this special part of me because she is acknowledging all of me.  I need that, so yes, this is a big one!

That’s all that I’ll take time to write out and it’s probably more than you cared to read.  I appreciate you all so very much.  It may be online, anonymous, and we may never meet face to face, but you all give me acceptance and acknowledgement.  I thank you for that!

Have a precious weekend my girly friends!

In society today, men are burdened by the conventional definition of masculinity that any behavior out of these norms is enough to attract ridicule, hate, and unkind criticisms.

Lingerie is beautiful, there is little need for societal restrictions on who can wear them, or who should enjoy putting them on.

Some married men are compelled to fraternize with other men in order to provide for each other the support they are unlikely to find every other place. And the benefits are numerous.

They provide a safe space: It takes time for people to adjust to things that challenge the foundational beliefs they have held from childhood. The implication of challenging these beliefs is that you are met with aggressive criticism, sometimes hate. By being in the midst of other married men who also wear lingerie, you are in a space that won’t judge you, in a circle that you are appreciated just as much as the man next to you - and it cannot be overemphasized how important it is to be in a space where you can be yourself without fear of unnecessary consequences which stems from misunderstandings and inability of others to adjust to new trends that challenge their held beliefs.

You will realize that you are not alone: The most common feeling that comes with being different is the feeling of loneliness even when you are in a crowd. The feeling of being the odd one out, someone no one understands or even tries to. It can be a daunting feeling and no one should have to go through this. By fraternizing with other married men who also share your love for lingerie, you will understand that you are not alone, you are not crazy and your wants are completely valid.

Find new lingerie: Growth is difficult in isolation. We grow through the inputs of others and this applies to our fashion sense. When you, as a married man who enjoys wearing lingerie are in the midst of other married men who just as much enjoy wearing lingerie, you can share ideas, discuss what kinds of lingerie you love, learn new ideas and new ways to explore.

Most married men who wear lingerie have to wear lingerie in isolation. This means they oftentimes have no one to share it with. No one to tell them how great it looks, to admire it, or to encourage them to try and explore new lingerie.

Corsets:

Corsets are archaic lingerie dating back to hundreds of years. Originally worn by women under or above their gowns to accentuate their curves, historically men have also worn corsets to trim down intruding shapes such as protruding bellies.

In the modern age, the corset is back into fashion with style. There are many kinds of corsets and different ways they can be worn. How about a corset under a casual shirt when you are feeling a bit of mischief? With a subtle corset under your shirt, except you reveal it yourself, no one is likely to notice. Babydolls:

Babydolls are light dresses often made from flimsy layers of materials like silk that usually are cut off at the thigh, with slim delicate straps over the shoulders. Baby Dolls are made from lightweight materials that give them just the right amount of chic swirl. They often come with cupped-pads that can prioritize the breast of their wearer making it ideal lingerie for married men who are having a bit of a bulky chest. Baby dolls are very comfortable lingerie pieces that are ideal when you are looking for a chic comfortable look. Thongs:

Thongs are my favorite kinds of lingeries. This sexy piece of lingerie is a must-have in your wardrobe for its vast utility value. Covering the front side of the crotch in a small triangle, the thong has a not so pronounced material string that runs in between the bottom cheeks giving them a more pronounced look. They are particularly the best friend for men who want to show off their eggplants in its sultry glory. Wearing a thong under your shorts or trousers can be a subtle alternative to traditional male knickers or boxers. One suggestion I have for thongs or g-strings is to pair them up with stockings and suspenders to maximize their potentials for a sexy chic ensemble. Teddies:

From the sound of its name, teddies project innocence having a suspicious similarity with the word ‘teddy bears’. Don’t let this make you underestimate this piece of lingerie though, it is everything but innocent. Teddies are very sultry and daring lingerie pieces. Also called “body’, they are primarily a one-piece-styled lingerie designed specifically to emphasize your curves and bulges here and there. It stretches from the shoulders to the crotch region acting also as a brief. They come in varying materials such as silk, cotton, mesh, or sometimes lace. It is fundamentally designed to complement your body shape and not to shape the body. In its glory, teddies are a suggestive, erotic move, and this is a go-to choice if you are looking for that sexy tinge. Chemise:

Would you rather opt for a babydoll similar lingerie but with alternating features such as, a less swirly but rather straighter design that hugs and accentuates your body contours? Then the chemise is what you are searching for. Stopping just around the knees, chemises are less revealing, made from light materials.

I stumbled on an article where a woman complained about finding her husband in women’s lingerie by accident, she has asked him to follow her to see a counsellor or sign divorce papers.

This often times than not is the result of most similar incident. Married men who love to wear lingerie have to do this discreetly out of fear of a likely disapproval from their wives, families, friends and, the society at large.

When we hear about lingerie, the most instinctive thought would be to think towards women. But, if human society has taught us a consistent lesson through its years of evolution, that would be to always expect change. To expect a paradigm shift away from the convention at all times.

Cultures change, fashion change, they adopt new styles, they cast a wilder net to who can wear what at any time, they become more inclusive and serves everyone’s peculiar individual need.

It is generally true that lingerie is mostly made for women, this however does not refute the idea that men can in fact, want to, and wear lingerie. Everyone must be encouraged to do, or wear, whatever makes them comfortable as long as they are not hurting anyone.

The idea of men who enjoy wearing women’s lingerie is recently gaining a fraction of the spotlight it deserves, as even though that we would like to believe our world is becoming increasingly progressive, so many people still have typical stereotypical projections and expectations. So many people still have certain expectations that they require others to conform to along gender lines most especially.

Due to this, a large majority of people still cannot reconcile with the idea of men wearing lingerie.

Likewise, many wives cannot accommodate the thought that they may have to be married to a man who loves to wear women’s lingerie, and due to these societal expectations, and negative feedback when seen, many of these married men who enjoy wearing women’s lingerie do it typically from the closet.

Married men who wear lingerie consistently have to walk on eggshells. Many have to hide this from society as they know they would be met with unkind disapproval, disgust, mockery even to the point of questioning their sexuality.

More difficult than this, a still bigger percentage of married men who enjoy wearing lingerie have to hide this intrinsic part of them from their wives out of fear of rejection, admonishment, and worse, losing someone who is a big part of your life for many years.

I just wanted to remind everyone that bras are amazing. If you love bras, like this port or reblog it!

Let this be the day you try on your first bra.

Let this be the day you go to a store and buy a bra.

Let this be the day you decide to tell the salesperson the bra is for you!

Let this be the day you finally tell your significant other about your desire to try on her clothes!

La inocencia no siempre esconde perversas intenciones pero no te fíes porque de descubrir estas, te atraparán.