Anger. Frustration. Tears. Imagine bottling it all up inside you so as not to upset other people, so as not to add fuel to the fire, so as not to sound disrespectful. Imagine holding yourself back for the sake of others. It hurts.

Less talk, Less mistakes. I have always been the type of person withholding her own thoughts and emotions so as not to make any situation worse. It may not be at its worst yet, but in my head, the infinite possibility of how things could turn out, could happen in a blink of an eye, at that very moment, and you getting caught off guard, is frightening.

Keeping yourself sane amid so much social pressure and unexpected turns of personal events is hugely challenging. When you are living in your head and need to pull yourself together, you need to shove away all those unhealthy thoughts . Journaling and talking to people who are willing to listen could help a great deal.

To battle against your own thoughts and negative emotions consuming you bit by bit is a battle that many people do not fully understand. Yes, we could be living in our heads and the best way to escape from these intrusive thoughts, setting our entire mood for the day or for the week, is a shift of perspective which for someone who overthinks a lot, will require a strong will and a strong support to see things on a positive perspective. It is a great deal of effort that we need to work on from time to time.

People who overthink may come off as sensitive. Indeed, but, what we truly want is our feelings to be heard, understood and acknowledged. It hurts when our feelings are dismissed. More often than not, to lessen the pain, we choose to not say things anymore and keep things in without realizing that we were dismissing ourselves too.

Overthinking breaks us. We break ourselves unintentionally because of so much fear projected by our own thoughts. Can we escape this? No. Most of the time, these thoughts popping out of our mind are beyond our control. We long to be heard and understood too without any judgement for many times, we deal with things on our own.

Overthinking is unintentional and it pins you down that on rare occasions, when it gets into your being, it drags you down to despair and hopelessness. To deal with this mess alone means to battle in your own head endlessly. It could be tiring at times but genuine support and love from people who truly care can help us get through these dark days.

How do we get through it? Let it out. A threshold where you can let out all the suppressed emotions is incredibly important. Write, cry and talk to people. May it be an emotional or physical activity, do it, without any hesitation.

As one of those people who deal with their overthinking self, I am continuously striving to keep myself sane and continue living with so much love to give. Slowly. Night by night. Day by day. Step by step, I will get there.

And to my fellow overthinkers, we got this. We are more than our limiting beliefs.

With love,

When you grow older and wiser because life challenges moulded you to be strong, you get to know the people who truly cares for you. At the time when you needed someone to talk to the most , or a shoulder to cry on, you get to see who will reach out to you first to offer you their presence either to just listen, or to just sit there with you when you could not talk because you were too drowned in your own emotions. “I’m here for you” is a plain word to say for some for the sake of living up to the spirit of your sisterhood, brotherhood or friendship. It was a nice thing to hear not until the time that you actually needed to see it. Not until their presence and their time were needed without you asking for it. That’s the spirit of friendship, isn’t it? But where were they? Where were they when you were alone? How many among those people actually showed up? Who among them actually reached out to you even when they are not expecting anything in return? Who among that circle of “friends” you actually share a real bond with? A bond that is strong enough to feel that you are in need? How many among those are the real ones?

When you’re young, you yearn to belong. You yearn to be accepted. To feel that you matter. To make your presence known. But at your most challenging times, you realize that you yearn to be heard and felt by people who truly cares and not people who are just “there”. We used to envy those individuals who have a lot of friends, connections, or networks because we used to think that they are lovely and people who have less are probably not. Eventually, you realize that how large your circle is doesn’t really matter. How much fun you had with them makes no real significance because at the end of the day, when you’re empty, the ones who always show up when they know you’re down are the ones that truly matter…for a long time.

A meaningful life doesn’t require you to fit anywhere nor to belong anywhere. A truly meaningful life will require people around you who share the same values and are genuine with their intentions to fit into yours. You don’t have to find them. Sooner or later, you will attract them. At the right time, they will show up at your door and only then, you will get to know who the real keepers are.

Be the kind of person you want to have in your life and the same kind of people will come into yours.

With love,

Irrational. This is how I could describe my anxiety which sometimes happen for reasons that I myself don’t understand. I get nervous when I talk to people, I get nervous when I need to speak up, I get nervous when I’m talking to strangers that I am trying to be friends with and I get nervous when I am talking about something that I know a lot about in front of a large group. Sometimes, the reasons are unnecessary and absurd but I do feel nervous. I don’t even know why. I stutter, I could not speak straightly, I could not expressed the thoughts that I knew I had organized in my head so well. I had it in my head and suddenly, I could not talk about it. Why? I don’t know.

Anxiety just happens not because we want to but it just…happens. “You don’t have to be afraid” I always tell myself but dear me, I still do and I can’t help it.

A positive self-talk is a way to keep yourself relaxed but once that you get on stage, once that you started to speak, once that you get into an environment that triggers you, it happens. All these thoughts that you wish you could hold back will suddenly swarm your head.

I screwed up again. I used to tell myself when it gets me in situation where I know I have to do really well. I was afraid to speak when I know I didn’t need to. I was afraid to talk when I know I didn’t have to. I was afraid. I felt afraid. It was inner fear.

What if they were scrutinizing me? What if I was messing it up? What if it was not what was expected? What if the results will not be what I wanted? What if something happens and it gets out of hand? What if… what if… These are like echoes. Thoughts at the back of your head once you get into that situation where your anxiety meets you.

“You don’t have to be afraid.” I always tell myself. “It’s alright and you did really well. You don’t have to worry about what could happen, or what others may think of you. You are doing your best and you know your strength more than other people do”.

For people who are going through the same ordeal, as we acknowledge and face these fears, let’s acknowledge ourselves too. It may not be easy, but let us not allow these inner fears taking up our minds to take up the space that we have for our inner happiness too. You can do it.

Will always be here for you,

To most it could be true but to some, it could be untrue. We stay for the way that we feel towards people weighs more in the long run than the way that these people made us feel.

To be nurtured and loved, in the same manner that we do is what every heart silently yearns to. We settle for the kind of love, may it be tough or gentle, where our presence is appreciated and where our existence matter.

The love that we get from others may or may not be what we deserve, but the love that we give to others is the kind that we hope we can have back.

For those who are hiding their struggles, ask them how they are. An "are you okay?" will mean so much than you thought.

For those who feel empty, let them know that they are enough. Telling them that their existence matter could give them reasons to keep pushing through.

For those who feel alone, let them know that they are not and tell them "I'm here for you".

For those who feel unloved and longing to be loved, let them know that they are worth it and they are enough.

For those who are afraid to take risks for their dreams, make them believe in theirselves and tell them "you can make it".

For those who are at the edge of breaking down but manage to keep their spirits high and refuse to give up, let them know how strong they are and tell them "I am proud of you".

That empty and incomplete feeling you went through when he turned away was nearly unbearable. Yes, he took a part of you; a part of the old you that was needed to be left behind too.

He took that weak part of you only for you to be stronger. He took that codependent part of you for you to learn to strengthen your boundaries. He took a part of you for you to heal, grow, bloom and love yourself more.

That hug, nod and pat on the back that we give to others as gestures of encouragement are the same things that we wish we could give ourselves.

You owe yourself that same hug, pat on the back and nod for keeping a strong spirit despite the pain, frustrations, disappointments and breakdowns. Step by step you went on and there, bit by bit, you grew.

As you look after other people at their lowest, please don't forget to look after yourself too. You need you.

My dear, the reason is simple. It's because if you don't love yourself, you wouldn't know your worth and if you don't know your worth, you wouldn't know what you deserve.

We think too much for many reasons. We love too much. We care too much. We feel too much.

We understand ourselves through these emotions, sometimes, dawning all at once. We think too much for we too, fear too much. What are we afraid of? With all the love that we are capable of giving comes our fear not to be loved back the same way.

You wanted to break free but could not find the strength. You feel lonely. You feel lost. You gradually lose your sense of worth.

The struggle of getting out of that invisible hole is like finding the little strength to break free today only to lose it again tomorrow.

You feel stuck in this internal battle...in your head.