hernameischerryyy

Before I post anything I feel like I have to apologize and excuse myself to everyone, even on social media. Specially, when I post my writing I will apologize for my “pathetic mediocre writing”.

“Sorry to spam, sorry to post, sorry to write, sorry to make you uncomfortable”

It doesn’t make sense that I apologize for my existence and my little place on the internet in a world full of million and billions of people.

To be clear, I know I have a fear of being seen even though it’s all my thirteen year old self wanted. I also know I just don’t like myself. It gets to a point where I put my dreams and life aside because I hate myself that much. So it does make sense to apologize. If I dislike myself this much, I can only imagine what others think of me.

- Angelina Mia,

Wrapped in sheets, lighting a cigarette

“Thirteen year old me would hate my current self. I used to go to Grammy after parties and spend my nights with the stars. I cared about being loud and I wanted to be seen. My lips used to be painted red like Courtney Love. Fishnets, band tees and short slip dresses. I haven’t been to a party in over a year and I’ve found that the stars burn out too quickly. I’m quiet now and I live in my head. I’m scared to be perceived. My eyes are still lined black. My lips now adorn a darken brown. I’ve stopped painting my lips red years ago but I’ve dyed my hair red a thousand times. Each time I’ve regretted it. All the fishnets are torn and the band tees are cut. They look much better hanging off my shoulder showing off my protruding collar bones.”

- Angelina Mia,