Marrish

♡♡♡

Jordan sighs tiredly as he steps out of the bathroom. He'd had a long day and all he wanted was to sleep, however, when he gets to his bedroom he finds his favorite redhead sitting on the edge of his bed.

"Lydia?" He questions. "What are you doing here?"

Lydia smiles at him, but there's something off about it.  "Well you did give me a key in case of emergencies."

Jordan slumps inward, not thrilled at the possibility of more fighting, but resigned to helping anyways. "What, did the Loch Ness monster stop by for a visit while I took a shower?"

Lydia rolls her eyes. "You must be tired," she comments, then, "It's nothing supernatural I promise."

Jordan nods, relief shooting through him briefly before concern flares up. Lydia wouldn't have come over, especially at 3.A.M., if it wasn't important. "What's the matter?" He asks, taking a step towards her. "You're not hurt are you? Are you having trouble with your abilities?"

Lydia shakes her head, and she can't quite look at him.

He thinks it's odd until he realizes he's not wearing a shirt. He immediately goes to his closet to grab one.

"I just have something I need to tell you," Lydia says. "And I don't know how you'll react."

Jordan turns to face her as he quickly pulls a shirt on. She looks nervous, and if he didn't know any better, shy. He doesn't think he's ever met a woman as confident as Lydia before and it unnerves him to see her like this.

He sits next to her, putting his hand on her shoulder. "Hey, whatever you need to tell me, I promise I won't react badly, even if I find it upsetting."

"If you find it upsetting I'm going to feel like such an idiot..."

He offers his hand out to her, trying his best to come across as sincere as he says, "You can trust me, Lydia."

She stares at his hand for a moment, then slips her hand into his, squeezing lightly with an appreciative smile.

He gives a small one of his own and it seems to encourage her more.

"I had this whole speech in my head," Lydia starts after a moment. "I was going to tell you about Stiles, and what I felt when I remembered him. How I felt when I saw him again and how it wasn't what I thought it was, but all of it would just be me delaying what I really want to say...which is that I love you - I'm in love with you."

Jordan tenses, completely caught off guard.

No, he thinks. That isn't right.

It wasn't as if he didn't feel the same as she did, but despite her being of age, he was still six years older than her and at a different point in his life. She was barely about to graduate high school and he was a Deputy in a small town struggling to get his boss to give him more responsibility.

She was smarter than anyone he's ever met, full of life, and ambitions greater than his own. And she deserved to experience college life without anything tying her down. To not have to think of anyone besides herself and what she wanted as she worked towards everything she ever dreamed of, including her Fields Medal.

She couldn't have that freedom if they got together now.

"Jordan?" Lydia asks, pulling him from his thoughts.

He blinks at her, then looks away. "Lydia I...you shouldn't love me."

"I disagree," she says stubbornly. "I think for the first time in my life I love the right person."

His heart stutters. "You've got your whole life ahead of you. You don't need me. "

"I do need you. You're the one who taught me how to fight, who saved me, and fought for me when I was at Eichen House...you're the only guy I trust more than Scott and believe me that's almost impossible at this point." Lydia says, sounding a little hysterical. "I mean, I've had...bad relationships with men and I've tried being colder, and hiding my vulnerabilities but when it comes to you I don't want to. I want you to see me and it should terrify me but it doesn't!"

Jordan stares at her, stunned.

Lydia reaches forward to caress his cheek, she's got tears in her eyes, and a soft smile on her face. "You've seen me be impatient and bratty, and you've seen me when I've been stuck in a trance, and even from the beginning when I was barely functioning as a person you never called me crazy. You were just nice. You're always nice. Sassy sometimes, but nice. And good. And strong, and sexy and brave."

Jordan smiles, hit with a wave emotion that brings tears to his eyes too because he can't believe someone really thinks of him this way - feels this way about him.

Lydia strokes his cheek with her thumb, staring deeply into his eyes as she says. "If you don't love me, that's okay, but don't ever say I don't need you because that's just not true."

And it should be enough to make him say it back, but it's not. He has to lay all the cards out on the table and know without a doubt this is what she really wants.

"But you're about to go off to college," he starts, "don't you want a fresh start away from all of this?"

Lydia tilts her chin slightly as if she's just realized something. She shakes her head. "I want a fresh start, but that doesn't mean I want to leave behind everything or that I won't come back for the things that matter to me."

She uses her other hand to gently stroke his hair and he leans into her touch.

"So it doesn't bother you we won't get to see each other much, or that I'm a Deputy who does more paperwork than field work? That all I might want is to be the Sheriff of a small town?"

"The first one yes, the others no," she answers confidently. "Look, we'll figure it all out like we've done everything else - together...if you want to."

It was. He wants it more than he's ever wanted anything and it's terrifying and maybe it won't work, but he can't find it in himself not to try.

Jordan wraps two fingers lightly around her wrist and turns his head to kiss her palm before he says, "It is what I want. You're what I want. Of course you are."

She kisses him passionately, and he returns it fervently, loving the feel of her hand curling in his hair and her nails scratching into his scalp. He's thought about this so many times before, hallucinated it, and none of it compared to the real thing.

He pulls away when he realizes he forgot the most important thing, Lydia trying to chase after his mouth. He pushes their foreheads together so he can say, "I love you."

Lydia nuzzles into him, smiling. She closes her eyes. "I think I got the hint," she teases.