Is pigs flyin? Is these bitches tryin me?

THE LITTLE ONE CAN BARELY GET OVER THE WAVES

what is my perfect crime? i break into tiffany’s at midnight. do i go for the vault? no, i go for the chandelier. it’s priceless. as i’m taking it down, a woman catches me. she tells me to stop. it’s her father’s business. she’s tiffany. i say no. we make love all night. in the morning, the cops come and i escape in one of their uniforms. i tell her to meet me in mexico, but i go to canada. i don’t trust her. besides, i like the cold. thirty years later, i get a postcard. i have a son and he’s the chief of police. this is where the story gets interesting. i tell tiffany to meet me in paris by the trocadero. she’s been waiting for me all these years. she’s never taken another lover. i don’t care. i don’t show up. i go to berlin. that’s where i stashed the chandelier.

No cage can hold my power…….

*winks at the sky* for the aliens

did he commit a crime? wheres the warrant? 

When Obama’s presidency is over I bet the book he writes is gonna be amazing

Fuck All Y’all: A President’s Tale