The Awakened Heart.

“Deep in my heart I know I am a loner. I have tried to blend in with the world or be more sociable, but the more people I meet the more disappointed I am. So I’ve learned to enjoy myself, my family, and a few good friends.”

I used to get upset when I would see or hear anything about how you can't love someone else if you don't first love yourself. Because I love others so deeply even though I can't extend any of that love to myself.

“You don’t know anyone at the party, so you don’t want to go. You don’t like cottage cheese, so you haven’t eaten it in years. This is your choice, of course, but don’t kid yourself: it’s also the flinch. Your personality is not set in stone. You may think a morning coffee is the most enjoyable thing in the world, but it’s really just a habit. Thirty days without it, and you would be fine. You think you have a soul mate, but in fact you could have had any number of spouses. You would have evolved differently, but been just as happy. You can change what you want about yourself at any time. You see yourself as someone who can’t write or play an instrument, who gives in to temptation or makes bad decisions, but that’s really not you. It’s not ingrained. It’s not your personality. Your personality is something else, something deeper than just preferences, and these details on the surface, you can change anytime you like. If it is useful to do so, you must abandon your identity and start again. Sometimes, it’s the only way. Set fire to your old self. It’s not needed here. It’s too busy shopping, gossiping about others, and watching days go by and asking why you haven’t gotten as far as you’d like. This old self will die and be forgotten by all but family, and replaced by someone who makes a difference. Your new self is not like that. Your new self is the Great Chicago Fire—overwhelming, overpowering, and destroying everything that isn’t necessary.”

“I cannot tell you. It is difficult for a woman to define her feelings in language that is chiefly made by men to express theirs.”

“and i am at your feet with an umbrella in my hands, my knuckles white from gripping it so tightly. ‘stay,’ i tell you, tears streaming down my face, each drop like a prayer. 'i know it looks bad outside, but don’t you remember what comes next?' 'stay,’ i tell you, 'stay and weather the storm. stay to see the promise of new beginnings.’”

“Everyone deserves to chased once. To run and have someone care enough to pull them back. But that’s all they get, all they deserve before you begin the terrible work of learning to live without them. Because the truth is, you don’t need anyone who doesn’t want to stay. And although you can’t know this now, someone else will come. Someone who won’t even think of leaving. Someone who doesn’t need to be convinced to stay.”

““I needed you. You know what the worst part of it was? When you weren’t there, a part of me wasn’t surprised.””

“Sometimes, I feel like there is so much inside of me that I do not know how to operate, how to work and speak like any other being. Sometimes, I feel nothing at all, like someone or something has completely drained every ounce of life inside my bloodstream, no different from those who live 6 feet under. And I do not know which is worse.”

“If you are willing to look at another person’s behavior toward you as a reflection of the state of their relationship with themselves rather than a statement about your value as a person, then you will, over a period of time cease to react at all.”

“do you know what hell is? its dreaming of his eyes while he’s looking into hers it’s whispered “i love you’s” that wind up not being true it’s falling in love with a girl whose thousands of miles away from you it’s anxiety ridden thoughts depression coated dreams it’s falling in love with the boy with sharp white teeth and a mysterious smile only to find out he’s the devil in disguise and is gonna play you for awhile hell is many things mainly it’s loving someone who never truly loved you”