Ela Mvie

This year hasn’t even ended and I just got on a legal age, yet I feel like I lost everything.

And sadly it keeps going on.

I lost trust,

I lost faith,

I lost love,

I lost beliefs,

and that pretty much makes myself above all.

I maybe a little bit emotional or overwhelmed just like when I was younger, but this feels so real, in a way that even small things can easily break or trigger you.

...

Where did I go wrong? Where did I mishandled things? Where did I lost them?

Segundo pa lang simula nung mag-online ka

Saya ang naramdaman, Kinabahan, Nataranta

Hindi mawari kung bubuksan ba ang chat box o tititigan na lang ang active mong ngalan

Sa sobrang tuwa, paglog-out mo’y di na namalayan.

Lubhang ikinagulat ang iyong pagkawala

Ang tuwa’y napalitan ng labis na pagkadismaya

Minuto pa lamang ang lumipas ng ika’y mawala

Agad na ikaw ay nais nang makita.

Ang segundo at minuto’y napalitan na ng oras

Ngunit patuloy pa rin nakatitig sa iyong ngalan

Umaasa, naghihintay, bumubulong ng “sana”

“Sana’y bumalik ka na, nais kitang makausap.”

Ang panahon ay sadyang lumipas na nang pagkatagal-tagal

Dumaan na ang mga sandali, pagbalik niya’y wala pa rin

Napapansin mo man, buhay mo’y sinayang mo na, 

Lubha ka pa rin nagpapakatanga sa pagtititig sa screen

Mapapaisip ka na lamang, “Tama pa ba na ika’y hintayin?”

Para bang wala naman nangyayari sa aking gawi

“I-chat ko na lang kaya?” iyong nawari,

Ngunit kahit ito’y gawin, wala ka pa rin pake.

Dito pa lamang, akin nang naiisip

Kung segundo ka lamang nagtagal, paano na kaya yung “tayo”?

Kung minuto pa lamang ika’y umalis na, ikaw rin ba ang unang mamamaalam sa atin?

at kung oras pa lamang ang lumipas ng iyong pagkawala, kakayanin ko pa kaya?

Ngunit pawang mga kababawan ko lamang ang mga ito.

Why do we always want to be EXTRAORDINARY , when at the end of the day , we’re just ORDINARY? 

Today, our world got a lot of EXTRAS.

Money,

Technology,

Everything that would make our lives easier and satisfying.

In order for us to have this all, we’re striving hard by having a proper education.Going to school or learning center at a very young age, forcing your brain to be shaped already. Good grades will depend on your improvement , and as long as you were studying, you will depend your life to your improvements that depends on your grade. And the bad thing is if you’re not positive to almost everything, it’s obvious that you will develop fear and pressure. If you think you surpassed all this, you will live happily…. you bet….

You will got a job,

do your lifelong goals like,

paid your parents or someone’s hardwork when you’re still a student,

be independent at the right age,

meet the right one and get married,

Bought a house with your own family,

work and work and work for your family,

until you received your pension and became a senior,

bought your space at the cemetery and a coffin,

and you know the end.

You got everything and anything you wanted. You will be satisfied now, but let me say this before any of this happen, are you happy living with more and more until you die with less?

So I did this out of curiosity or maybe from craziness and boredom . I asked a few guys a life changing question (I think it’s only me though XD)

The question is this , “Kapag sinabi ko na may crush ako sayo,anong sasabihin mo?” (If I say that I have a crush on you, what would you say?) 

Pipikit na nga lamang ba? Magpapadala sa alon ng nararamdaman? O susundin ang nararapat?

Iisipin ko pa ba ang tama, kung hindi naman ako masaya? O gagawin ang bagay na sa aki'y nagpapaligaya, Ngunit mayroong tao na nasasaktan?

Saan nga ba ako nagkamali? Ang bagay na tanging hindi ko mawari… Saan din naman ako naging tama? Ang bagay na tanging hindi ko alam…

Ano nga ba ang dapat kong gawin?

Ang bagay na sa aki'y may dalang tuwa, ngunit may taong natatapakan? O ang bagay na sa karamihan ay alamna nararapat, Ngunit sa aki'y may dalamahating maiiwan?

Paiiralin nga ba ang sariling kapakanan? O susundin ang alam mong ikapapanatag ng iba? Masama na nga bang tunay ang maging masaya? Ganito na lang ba lagi ang aking kapalaran?