Mike Driver
taylor price
trying on a metaphor
One Nice Bug Per Day
titsay
tannertan36
Stranger Things
macklin celebrini has autism
art blog(derogatory)
JVL
Sade Olutola
sheepfilms
Show & Tell
d e v o n
Kiana Khansmith
ellievsbear
𓃗
Monterey Bay Aquarium
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Brazil
seen from Russia
seen from New Zealand
seen from Argentina
seen from Belgium
seen from Netherlands
seen from United States
seen from Colombia
seen from Indonesia
seen from France
seen from United Arab Emirates
seen from Russia
seen from Spain
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Russia
seen from United Kingdom
@henchmaniac-ford
"Greetings. I am Stanford Filbrick Pines.. unless you're part of any legal system. Against popular belief I am not, nor have I ever been, married!"
"Against all odds, the world is healing and yet there is still work to be done"
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Here Valerie, have this child! It definitely doesn't belong to anyone you know don't look into it too hard
[She's hanging out in her nightmare form outside... Which, notably, has shrunk to only being around truck sized rather than building sized.]
[... She awakes from dozing off with the presence of SURPRISE! It's A!!Baby!]
[... Unsure what to do, she kinda just... stares. This thing looks so pathetic... Is it even alive???]
It's breathing is shallow and pieces of it crumble away every now just to reform soon after. Other than that the baby's staying still to conserve energy. Although it does crack open an eye to squint at her. That thing does NOT look like the fleshy creatures they're used to.
[Her head tilts- this thing looks like it's dying...]
[...]
[She lowers her head, sniffs a few times, and begins to pace around the baby.]
[What to do? What to dooo? Would anybody be mad if she just... filled it with life? Would it be cruel not to?]
[She gently nuzzles the baby- in order to conceal that in that moment, she pulsed life into her surroundings... Just a little couldn't hurt, right? Just to see if it helps...]
It sqeaks faintly when sniffed. Lil baby trying so hard not to die, lil thang does not wanna be eaten by a wolf
The effect is gradual at first but slowly the baby becomes more alert, it's eyes open completely and lock onto Valarie with a bubbling curiosity. Maria reaches out to bury a hand in her fur.
[She slowly and so very gently lays down beside Maria to allow the baby to pet her, pulsing more and more life in the area to share with the abomination babyy. Flowers grow around them and grow larger and more vibrant rapidly. It's peaceful...]
Maria is glowing, literally she lets off a faint light which brightens as she giggles face planting the fur. Tis baby the hair will be pulled and patted. The world is so much brighter when you're not fighting tooth and nail to keep yourself firmly planted in it.
[Her fur twitches as it's pulled, but she otherwise does her best not to react. Don't want to accidentally hurt the little thing...]
[She rests her head on the ground, smiling as much as a wolf can. She's a good triangle... She did good... Now this little baby doesn't look like it's actively dying...]
The baby has taken to pulling up flowers and laying them on Valarie in a line. Bros having the most fun its had in it's very short life right now
SMC: HELLO STANFORD! :D
*gasp! a ghost is texting him!*
Hench: Who is this? Cease messaging me.
SMC: you want your FAVORITE cookie to STOP MESSAGING YOU? :0
SMC: how odd!!
Hench: I was informed of your premature death.
SMC: … i … made a questionable decision
SMC: and then got healed
Hench: what'd you do
SMC: i. got stabbed
Hench: By who
SMC: … myself
Hench: where are you located currently
SMC: uhhhh. not sure. woke up in a tent. haven’t made my way home yet
Hench: some tent!? You're going to get yourself killed again!
SMC: the guy who lives here healed my wound
SMC: been here for. a few days.
SMC: should have enough magic back to go back home later today or tomorrow :)))
Hench: why did you do it Shadow Milk
SMC: HELLO STANFORD! :D
*gasp! a ghost is texting him!*
Hench: Who is this? Cease messaging me.
SMC: you want your FAVORITE cookie to STOP MESSAGING YOU? :0
SMC: how odd!!
Hench: I was informed of your premature death.
SMC: … i … made a questionable decision
SMC: and then got healed
Hench: what'd you do
SMC: i. got stabbed
Hench: By who
SMC: … myself
Hench: where are you located currently
SMC: uhhhh. not sure. woke up in a tent. haven’t made my way home yet
Hench: some tent!? You're going to get yourself killed again!
Here Valerie, have this child! It definitely doesn't belong to anyone you know don't look into it too hard
[She's hanging out in her nightmare form outside... Which, notably, has shrunk to only being around truck sized rather than building sized.]
[... She awakes from dozing off with the presence of SURPRISE! It's A!!Baby!]
[... Unsure what to do, she kinda just... stares. This thing looks so pathetic... Is it even alive???]
It's breathing is shallow and pieces of it crumble away every now just to reform soon after. Other than that the baby's staying still to conserve energy. Although it does crack open an eye to squint at her. That thing does NOT look like the fleshy creatures they're used to.
[Her head tilts- this thing looks like it's dying...]
[...]
[She lowers her head, sniffs a few times, and begins to pace around the baby.]
[What to do? What to dooo? Would anybody be mad if she just... filled it with life? Would it be cruel not to?]
[She gently nuzzles the baby- in order to conceal that in that moment, she pulsed life into her surroundings... Just a little couldn't hurt, right? Just to see if it helps...]
It sqeaks faintly when sniffed. Lil baby trying so hard not to die, lil thang does not wanna be eaten by a wolf
The effect is gradual at first but slowly the baby becomes more alert, it's eyes open completely and lock onto Valarie with a bubbling curiosity. Maria reaches out to bury a hand in her fur.
[She slowly and so very gently lays down beside Maria to allow the baby to pet her, pulsing more and more life in the area to share with the abomination babyy. Flowers grow around them and grow larger and more vibrant rapidly. It's peaceful...]
Maria is glowing, literally she lets off a faint light which brightens as she giggles face planting the fur. Tis baby the hair will be pulled and patted. The world is so much brighter when you're not fighting tooth and nail to keep yourself firmly planted in it.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
SMC: HELLO STANFORD! :D
*gasp! a ghost is texting him!*
Hench: Who is this? Cease messaging me.
SMC: you want your FAVORITE cookie to STOP MESSAGING YOU? :0
SMC: how odd!!
Hench: I was informed of your premature death.
SMC: … i … made a questionable decision
SMC: and then got healed
Hench: what'd you do
SMC: i. got stabbed
Hench: By who
SMC: … myself
Hench: where are you located currently
Here Valerie, have this child! It definitely doesn't belong to anyone you know don't look into it too hard
[She's hanging out in her nightmare form outside... Which, notably, has shrunk to only being around truck sized rather than building sized.]
[... She awakes from dozing off with the presence of SURPRISE! It's A!!Baby!]
[... Unsure what to do, she kinda just... stares. This thing looks so pathetic... Is it even alive???]
It's breathing is shallow and pieces of it crumble away every now just to reform soon after. Other than that the baby's staying still to conserve energy. Although it does crack open an eye to squint at her. That thing does NOT look like the fleshy creatures they're used to.
[Her head tilts- this thing looks like it's dying...]
[...]
[She lowers her head, sniffs a few times, and begins to pace around the baby.]
[What to do? What to dooo? Would anybody be mad if she just... filled it with life? Would it be cruel not to?]
[She gently nuzzles the baby- in order to conceal that in that moment, she pulsed life into her surroundings... Just a little couldn't hurt, right? Just to see if it helps...]
It sqeaks faintly when sniffed. Lil baby trying so hard not to die, lil thang does not wanna be eaten by a wolf
The effect is gradual at first but slowly the baby becomes more alert, it's eyes open completely and lock onto Valarie with a bubbling curiosity. Maria reaches out to bury a hand in her fur.
SMC: HELLO STANFORD! :D
*gasp! a ghost is texting him!*
Hench: Who is this? Cease messaging me.
SMC: you want your FAVORITE cookie to STOP MESSAGING YOU? :0
SMC: how odd!!
Hench: I was informed of your premature death.
SMC: … i … made a questionable decision
SMC: and then got healed
Hench: what'd you do
SMC: i. got stabbed
Hench: By who
Here Valerie, have this child! It definitely doesn't belong to anyone you know don't look into it too hard
[She's hanging out in her nightmare form outside... Which, notably, has shrunk to only being around truck sized rather than building sized.]
[... She awakes from dozing off with the presence of SURPRISE! It's A!!Baby!]
[... Unsure what to do, she kinda just... stares. This thing looks so pathetic... Is it even alive???]
It's breathing is shallow and pieces of it crumble away every now just to reform soon after. Other than that the baby's staying still to conserve energy. Although it does crack open an eye to squint at her. That thing does NOT look like the fleshy creatures they're used to.
SMC: HELLO STANFORD! :D
*gasp! a ghost is texting him!*
Hench: Who is this? Cease messaging me.
SMC: you want your FAVORITE cookie to STOP MESSAGING YOU? :0
SMC: how odd!!
Hench: I was informed of your premature death.
SMC: … i … made a questionable decision
SMC: and then got healed
Hench: what'd you do
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
[someones caaallingg]
[ @ivxliwh ]
Hench quickly answers "Greetings, Wilhelm. I was informed you may be upset with me?"
"yes, stanford."
"I haven't done anything of note recently that I'm aware of"
"really? so, if I may ask, what was your last conversation with cowboy like?"
"I offered to take him to see the Mudpuppy. His father is alright with it"
"and? what else?"
"I did inform him of the possibility he could be a Bill.. Ah, and I told him not to kill Valarie"
"mhm. yeah? you wanna..uh, yknow, expand on that? tell me a little more about that first bit?"
"Well, nothings confirmed yet but, there's a possibility he's a variant of Bill. I informed him of that- Honestly I'll be disappointed if he happens to be a Bill.. what a waste. Having more than one Euclidean to research is exciting another Bill does nothing to aid in learning more of the species."
"yeah?"
[they sound even more irritated than before..]
"I'm going to make an educated guess and assume you're upset with my views on Bill and my expressing of that to Cowboy?"
"youd be correct."
"I was educating him"
"on, pray tell, what, exactly? that 'all bills are evil and itd be such a shame if you turned out to be one, because then youd be automatically evil'?"
"There's a high likely hood he'll become evil looking at the vast majority of Bill's! Especially now that, whether the man deserved it or not, he's gone and killed Richard! Murder is the sin that started Bill down his wretched path. Cowboy is kind but, I'm trying to help his family take precautions for the worst"
"and is telling him that the worst thing to do!? If anything he'll hopefully be more careful not to fall into that cycle!"
[WILHELM takes a deep breath.]
"stanford. youre a scientist, right? therefore, you should be good with numbers. and with the infinite amount of universes scattered across the multiverse, WHOS TO SAY that the vast majority of bills are evil? hm? certainly not you."
"I get why you think that, and I understand your concerns, I really do, but you need to take into account every single god damn factor. infinite. is. infinite. you cannot say for certain that the majority of bills are evil, nor can you say that theres a high chance that cowboy is to become evil. our bills accidentally wiped out their entire race. cowboy murdered a man who had been harassing him for years and DRUGGED HIM just so he could try and marry him. would you still say that if it were some other person, some other RANDOM HUMAN PERSON, who had done that? NO. YOU FUCKING WOULDNT. You would VALIDATE them. but because cowboys 'possibly a bill', you 'want to take precautions'. god— for a scientist, you're fucking idiotic sometimes, you know that?"
"yknow what youve been doing, stanford? grouping a bunch of people into a single negative description— 'evil'— you know what thats called, stanford? do you know what thats called? I dont think youre going to like what its called, stanford."
"They win so often. There are so many broken timelines- so many worse fates. I haven't viewed them all but I've been shown enough. Even the ones you think are "good" have done terrible things! the only one I don't have any standing for is Trickster. observing him has surfaced nothing of note.."
"..." Hench's gaze finds a pencil. It couldn't hurt to run some numbers.. determine a probability. Graphing it would be a nightmare.. how would you even begin to go about sorting that!? F would be better fit for the job. "Don't act as if my claims are completely unfounded! There's a reason no one is surprised when one turns out evil! ..An infinite amount of universes is an infinite amount of times for him to become evil and cause harm in any case.. I understand what you mean. Cowboy has been subjected to different factors than most Bill's- in fact his story starts out differently. If any of them, in this infinite expansion of the multiverse, are going to be good it'd be him."
"Other people aren't bloodthirsty lunatics in my defense. I don't think Cowboy is in the wrong for defending himself but if it leads to him spiraling and hurting more people, he's just as bad as any other Bill. I'm not an idiot!"
"I- Wilhlem! Don't compare me to that"
"EVERYONES DONE HORRIBLE THINGS. even YOU, and even I. but people change, stanford. people are not stagnant. if someone can 'turn evil', then they can turn good. and if youre too fucking lazy to graph the numbers, then ill just say it again— infinity is infinity. and the damn reason no one is surprised when a bill turns out evil is because the ones who are 'good' get overshadowed by all the bad shit the evil ones have done. hell, if you even LOOK like a bill, people automatically assume youre evil!— do you know how exhausting that is?"
[WILHELMS voice shifts.]
"do you wanna know what he told me, stanford? you wanna know what he was planning to do if he did turn out 'evil'? he wouldve fucking killed himself."
"now, say, he truly is 'one of the good bills'. one of the 'SMALL PERCENT' of actual good bills that exist in your human brain— trust me, its not as small as you think. would you have wanted that percent to go down if he did kill himself? if he ended up deciding that the guilt of killing a man was too much, that hes a horrible person for not wanting to get married to a man who drugged him? a good man couldve died, stanford. and do you know who wouldve contributed to that decision?"
"Your faith in people is admirable Wilhlem, but i disagree than everyone can be redeemed. I believe there are some atrocities you can't commit without being heartless and having no decency.. I'm sure you have people you would never forgive no matter how much they claim to have 'turned good'. how are you determing which ones are redeemable? Not even just for Bill's.. but people as a whole."
He shakes his head- oh they can't see him! "No- No, I don't. I'm sorry you have to bear his burden Wilhelm"
...
"Of course not! I-" he doesn't have a good argument. "No. I just- Cowboy will be fine! Guilt is a good sign- He hardly shares any similarities with Bill! I highly doubt he is one.. It was foolish to even consider it a possibility- There's no need to investigate it further honestly"
"I never said EVERYONE can be redeemed. I know for a fact that people can remain stagnant, unmoving in their ways, and i know that can cause a lot of harm, BUT THAT is NOT THE POINT. I do not try to redeem people, I do not— YOURE JUST NOT GETTING IT. YOU. ARE. NOT. GETTING. MY. POINT. STANFORD."
"Oh, but Bill can be."
"I'll talk to Cowboy- that's what you want yes? Tell him everything will be fine"
"he KNOWS everything will be fine, stanford. what I want, though, is for you to stop this 'all bills are bad' shit. so what if cowboy turns out to be a bill? will your views change on him then? will you look past all the personality he has, and only see the one connection he has to all the bad bills?"
"I need you to know that i understand your paranoia, but you need to admit when youre wrong. you need to look at the logic— the numbers— instead of just saying 'oh, the majority is bad', because the MAJORITY get a BAD REP from all the TOMFUCKERY the BAD ONES CAUSE. infinite. fucking. universes, stanford. and honestly? I think you need to let things be, even if he turns out to be a bill. I dont want one of my friends to end up killing himself. I dont want that happening to ANY of my friends. and YOU were PART OF THE REASON HE FUCKING CONSIDERED IT, HENCH. you, and your god damned mindset."
"Wilhelm.. what's going to happen if you're wrong about them?"
"Then ill be wrong. and ill admit to just that."
[something hench seems to have a hard time doing.]
"That won't help the people hurt during their tantrums!"
"You want me to admit I'm wrong!? Fine! I- I've misjudged the character of a few! Are you happy!? I know I've made mistakes Wilhlem I don't need to participate in a humiliation ritual listing them all off!"
"im not suggesting you partake in a humiliation ritual, stanford!"
"Then what is it you want from me!?"
"ive made it clear what I want! I think!"
"I can't look at the numbers Wilhelm! It's not that simple- I know they'll hurt people. Thers a part of me that knows that I can't find the power to ignore! I don't want more people to suffer- and I certainly don't want that for cowboy but- if I don't do or say something I'm complicit in his plans! I don't want to help him anymore than I foolishly have! I never wanted to be a pawn and i won't go back to that and I don't want that for anyone else"
"youre not a pawn! and you wont be complicit in any plans! okay? youre— god.."
[that last bit didnt...sound? angry?]
"...you wont be complicit in anything. okay?"
He pauses and exhales before responding "Okay.."
"good.."
"..youve got good intentions, but my god, youve sometimes got a shitty way of executing them."
[that sounded more lighthearted.]
Hench pinchs the bridge of his nose "Yes- I've come to notice"
"atleast youve noticed."
[..he wants to bring up VALERIE, but..is now really rhe time?]
"I appreciate you speaking with me Wilhelm. I know I haven't been the best version of myself.. If it's alright with you I'll be speaking with my" he presses his lips together, grown ass man making a face its okay hes on call "therapist before meeting with Valarie."
"of course itd be alright, im..."
[he sighs.]
"..im glad, in all honesty."
"I'll speak with you again soon in that case.."
[someones caaallingg]
[ @ivxliwh ]
Hench quickly answers "Greetings, Wilhelm. I was informed you may be upset with me?"
"yes, stanford."
"I haven't done anything of note recently that I'm aware of"
"really? so, if I may ask, what was your last conversation with cowboy like?"
"I offered to take him to see the Mudpuppy. His father is alright with it"
"and? what else?"
"I did inform him of the possibility he could be a Bill.. Ah, and I told him not to kill Valarie"
"mhm. yeah? you wanna..uh, yknow, expand on that? tell me a little more about that first bit?"
"Well, nothings confirmed yet but, there's a possibility he's a variant of Bill. I informed him of that- Honestly I'll be disappointed if he happens to be a Bill.. what a waste. Having more than one Euclidean to research is exciting another Bill does nothing to aid in learning more of the species."
"yeah?"
[they sound even more irritated than before..]
"I'm going to make an educated guess and assume you're upset with my views on Bill and my expressing of that to Cowboy?"
"youd be correct."
"I was educating him"
"on, pray tell, what, exactly? that 'all bills are evil and itd be such a shame if you turned out to be one, because then youd be automatically evil'?"
"There's a high likely hood he'll become evil looking at the vast majority of Bill's! Especially now that, whether the man deserved it or not, he's gone and killed Richard! Murder is the sin that started Bill down his wretched path. Cowboy is kind but, I'm trying to help his family take precautions for the worst"
"and is telling him that the worst thing to do!? If anything he'll hopefully be more careful not to fall into that cycle!"
[WILHELM takes a deep breath.]
"stanford. youre a scientist, right? therefore, you should be good with numbers. and with the infinite amount of universes scattered across the multiverse, WHOS TO SAY that the vast majority of bills are evil? hm? certainly not you."
"I get why you think that, and I understand your concerns, I really do, but you need to take into account every single god damn factor. infinite. is. infinite. you cannot say for certain that the majority of bills are evil, nor can you say that theres a high chance that cowboy is to become evil. our bills accidentally wiped out their entire race. cowboy murdered a man who had been harassing him for years and DRUGGED HIM just so he could try and marry him. would you still say that if it were some other person, some other RANDOM HUMAN PERSON, who had done that? NO. YOU FUCKING WOULDNT. You would VALIDATE them. but because cowboys 'possibly a bill', you 'want to take precautions'. god— for a scientist, you're fucking idiotic sometimes, you know that?"
"yknow what youve been doing, stanford? grouping a bunch of people into a single negative description— 'evil'— you know what thats called, stanford? do you know what thats called? I dont think youre going to like what its called, stanford."
"They win so often. There are so many broken timelines- so many worse fates. I haven't viewed them all but I've been shown enough. Even the ones you think are "good" have done terrible things! the only one I don't have any standing for is Trickster. observing him has surfaced nothing of note.."
"..." Hench's gaze finds a pencil. It couldn't hurt to run some numbers.. determine a probability. Graphing it would be a nightmare.. how would you even begin to go about sorting that!? F would be better fit for the job. "Don't act as if my claims are completely unfounded! There's a reason no one is surprised when one turns out evil! ..An infinite amount of universes is an infinite amount of times for him to become evil and cause harm in any case.. I understand what you mean. Cowboy has been subjected to different factors than most Bill's- in fact his story starts out differently. If any of them, in this infinite expansion of the multiverse, are going to be good it'd be him."
"Other people aren't bloodthirsty lunatics in my defense. I don't think Cowboy is in the wrong for defending himself but if it leads to him spiraling and hurting more people, he's just as bad as any other Bill. I'm not an idiot!"
"I- Wilhlem! Don't compare me to that"
"EVERYONES DONE HORRIBLE THINGS. even YOU, and even I. but people change, stanford. people are not stagnant. if someone can 'turn evil', then they can turn good. and if youre too fucking lazy to graph the numbers, then ill just say it again— infinity is infinity. and the damn reason no one is surprised when a bill turns out evil is because the ones who are 'good' get overshadowed by all the bad shit the evil ones have done. hell, if you even LOOK like a bill, people automatically assume youre evil!— do you know how exhausting that is?"
[WILHELMS voice shifts.]
"do you wanna know what he told me, stanford? you wanna know what he was planning to do if he did turn out 'evil'? he wouldve fucking killed himself."
"now, say, he truly is 'one of the good bills'. one of the 'SMALL PERCENT' of actual good bills that exist in your human brain— trust me, its not as small as you think. would you have wanted that percent to go down if he did kill himself? if he ended up deciding that the guilt of killing a man was too much, that hes a horrible person for not wanting to get married to a man who drugged him? a good man couldve died, stanford. and do you know who wouldve contributed to that decision?"
"Your faith in people is admirable Wilhlem, but i disagree than everyone can be redeemed. I believe there are some atrocities you can't commit without being heartless and having no decency.. I'm sure you have people you would never forgive no matter how much they claim to have 'turned good'. how are you determing which ones are redeemable? Not even just for Bill's.. but people as a whole."
He shakes his head- oh they can't see him! "No- No, I don't. I'm sorry you have to bear his burden Wilhelm"
...
"Of course not! I-" he doesn't have a good argument. "No. I just- Cowboy will be fine! Guilt is a good sign- He hardly shares any similarities with Bill! I highly doubt he is one.. It was foolish to even consider it a possibility- There's no need to investigate it further honestly"
"I never said EVERYONE can be redeemed. I know for a fact that people can remain stagnant, unmoving in their ways, and i know that can cause a lot of harm, BUT THAT is NOT THE POINT. I do not try to redeem people, I do not— YOURE JUST NOT GETTING IT. YOU. ARE. NOT. GETTING. MY. POINT. STANFORD."
"Oh, but Bill can be."
"I'll talk to Cowboy- that's what you want yes? Tell him everything will be fine"
"he KNOWS everything will be fine, stanford. what I want, though, is for you to stop this 'all bills are bad' shit. so what if cowboy turns out to be a bill? will your views change on him then? will you look past all the personality he has, and only see the one connection he has to all the bad bills?"
"I need you to know that i understand your paranoia, but you need to admit when youre wrong. you need to look at the logic— the numbers— instead of just saying 'oh, the majority is bad', because the MAJORITY get a BAD REP from all the TOMFUCKERY the BAD ONES CAUSE. infinite. fucking. universes, stanford. and honestly? I think you need to let things be, even if he turns out to be a bill. I dont want one of my friends to end up killing himself. I dont want that happening to ANY of my friends. and YOU were PART OF THE REASON HE FUCKING CONSIDERED IT, HENCH. you, and your god damned mindset."
"Wilhelm.. what's going to happen if you're wrong about them?"
"Then ill be wrong. and ill admit to just that."
[something hench seems to have a hard time doing.]
"That won't help the people hurt during their tantrums!"
"You want me to admit I'm wrong!? Fine! I- I've misjudged the character of a few! Are you happy!? I know I've made mistakes Wilhlem I don't need to participate in a humiliation ritual listing them all off!"
"im not suggesting you partake in a humiliation ritual, stanford!"
"Then what is it you want from me!?"
"ive made it clear what I want! I think!"
"I can't look at the numbers Wilhelm! It's not that simple- I know they'll hurt people. Thers a part of me that knows that I can't find the power to ignore! I don't want more people to suffer- and I certainly don't want that for cowboy but- if I don't do or say something I'm complicit in his plans! I don't want to help him anymore than I foolishly have! I never wanted to be a pawn and i won't go back to that and I don't want that for anyone else"
"youre not a pawn! and you wont be complicit in any plans! okay? youre— god.."
[that last bit didnt...sound? angry?]
"...you wont be complicit in anything. okay?"
He pauses and exhales before responding "Okay.."
"good.."
"..youve got good intentions, but my god, youve sometimes got a shitty way of executing them."
[that sounded more lighthearted.]
Hench pinchs the bridge of his nose "Yes- I've come to notice"
"atleast youve noticed."
[..he wants to bring up VALERIE, but..is now really rhe time?]
"I appreciate you speaking with me Wilhelm. I know I haven't been the best version of myself.. If it's alright with you I'll be speaking with my" he presses his lips together, grown ass man making a face its okay hes on call "therapist before meeting with Valarie."
TECHNICALLY she did die for a few minutes
but shhhhh. she doesn’t need to know that
"She most certainly should know-!"
the cookie didn’t die
she got very close and is still unconscious, but they are still alive
"I'm never taking any of your word again!"
you still have yet to apologize to Valerie btw
might wanna get on that
"It's harder to come up with a suitable apology than one might think. I'll call my therapist and have them aid me in drafting something I suppose"
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
[someones caaallingg]
[ @ivxliwh ]
Hench quickly answers "Greetings, Wilhelm. I was informed you may be upset with me?"
"yes, stanford."
"I haven't done anything of note recently that I'm aware of"
"really? so, if I may ask, what was your last conversation with cowboy like?"
"I offered to take him to see the Mudpuppy. His father is alright with it"
"and? what else?"
"I did inform him of the possibility he could be a Bill.. Ah, and I told him not to kill Valarie"
"mhm. yeah? you wanna..uh, yknow, expand on that? tell me a little more about that first bit?"
"Well, nothings confirmed yet but, there's a possibility he's a variant of Bill. I informed him of that- Honestly I'll be disappointed if he happens to be a Bill.. what a waste. Having more than one Euclidean to research is exciting another Bill does nothing to aid in learning more of the species."
"yeah?"
[they sound even more irritated than before..]
"I'm going to make an educated guess and assume you're upset with my views on Bill and my expressing of that to Cowboy?"
"youd be correct."
"I was educating him"
"on, pray tell, what, exactly? that 'all bills are evil and itd be such a shame if you turned out to be one, because then youd be automatically evil'?"
"There's a high likely hood he'll become evil looking at the vast majority of Bill's! Especially now that, whether the man deserved it or not, he's gone and killed Richard! Murder is the sin that started Bill down his wretched path. Cowboy is kind but, I'm trying to help his family take precautions for the worst"
"and is telling him that the worst thing to do!? If anything he'll hopefully be more careful not to fall into that cycle!"
[WILHELM takes a deep breath.]
"stanford. youre a scientist, right? therefore, you should be good with numbers. and with the infinite amount of universes scattered across the multiverse, WHOS TO SAY that the vast majority of bills are evil? hm? certainly not you."
"I get why you think that, and I understand your concerns, I really do, but you need to take into account every single god damn factor. infinite. is. infinite. you cannot say for certain that the majority of bills are evil, nor can you say that theres a high chance that cowboy is to become evil. our bills accidentally wiped out their entire race. cowboy murdered a man who had been harassing him for years and DRUGGED HIM just so he could try and marry him. would you still say that if it were some other person, some other RANDOM HUMAN PERSON, who had done that? NO. YOU FUCKING WOULDNT. You would VALIDATE them. but because cowboys 'possibly a bill', you 'want to take precautions'. god— for a scientist, you're fucking idiotic sometimes, you know that?"
"yknow what youve been doing, stanford? grouping a bunch of people into a single negative description— 'evil'— you know what thats called, stanford? do you know what thats called? I dont think youre going to like what its called, stanford."
"They win so often. There are so many broken timelines- so many worse fates. I haven't viewed them all but I've been shown enough. Even the ones you think are "good" have done terrible things! the only one I don't have any standing for is Trickster. observing him has surfaced nothing of note.."
"..." Hench's gaze finds a pencil. It couldn't hurt to run some numbers.. determine a probability. Graphing it would be a nightmare.. how would you even begin to go about sorting that!? F would be better fit for the job. "Don't act as if my claims are completely unfounded! There's a reason no one is surprised when one turns out evil! ..An infinite amount of universes is an infinite amount of times for him to become evil and cause harm in any case.. I understand what you mean. Cowboy has been subjected to different factors than most Bill's- in fact his story starts out differently. If any of them, in this infinite expansion of the multiverse, are going to be good it'd be him."
"Other people aren't bloodthirsty lunatics in my defense. I don't think Cowboy is in the wrong for defending himself but if it leads to him spiraling and hurting more people, he's just as bad as any other Bill. I'm not an idiot!"
"I- Wilhlem! Don't compare me to that"
"EVERYONES DONE HORRIBLE THINGS. even YOU, and even I. but people change, stanford. people are not stagnant. if someone can 'turn evil', then they can turn good. and if youre too fucking lazy to graph the numbers, then ill just say it again— infinity is infinity. and the damn reason no one is surprised when a bill turns out evil is because the ones who are 'good' get overshadowed by all the bad shit the evil ones have done. hell, if you even LOOK like a bill, people automatically assume youre evil!— do you know how exhausting that is?"
[WILHELMS voice shifts.]
"do you wanna know what he told me, stanford? you wanna know what he was planning to do if he did turn out 'evil'? he wouldve fucking killed himself."
"now, say, he truly is 'one of the good bills'. one of the 'SMALL PERCENT' of actual good bills that exist in your human brain— trust me, its not as small as you think. would you have wanted that percent to go down if he did kill himself? if he ended up deciding that the guilt of killing a man was too much, that hes a horrible person for not wanting to get married to a man who drugged him? a good man couldve died, stanford. and do you know who wouldve contributed to that decision?"
"Your faith in people is admirable Wilhlem, but i disagree than everyone can be redeemed. I believe there are some atrocities you can't commit without being heartless and having no decency.. I'm sure you have people you would never forgive no matter how much they claim to have 'turned good'. how are you determing which ones are redeemable? Not even just for Bill's.. but people as a whole."
He shakes his head- oh they can't see him! "No- No, I don't. I'm sorry you have to bear his burden Wilhelm"
...
"Of course not! I-" he doesn't have a good argument. "No. I just- Cowboy will be fine! Guilt is a good sign- He hardly shares any similarities with Bill! I highly doubt he is one.. It was foolish to even consider it a possibility- There's no need to investigate it further honestly"
"I never said EVERYONE can be redeemed. I know for a fact that people can remain stagnant, unmoving in their ways, and i know that can cause a lot of harm, BUT THAT is NOT THE POINT. I do not try to redeem people, I do not— YOURE JUST NOT GETTING IT. YOU. ARE. NOT. GETTING. MY. POINT. STANFORD."
"Oh, but Bill can be."
"I'll talk to Cowboy- that's what you want yes? Tell him everything will be fine"
"he KNOWS everything will be fine, stanford. what I want, though, is for you to stop this 'all bills are bad' shit. so what if cowboy turns out to be a bill? will your views change on him then? will you look past all the personality he has, and only see the one connection he has to all the bad bills?"
"I need you to know that i understand your paranoia, but you need to admit when youre wrong. you need to look at the logic— the numbers— instead of just saying 'oh, the majority is bad', because the MAJORITY get a BAD REP from all the TOMFUCKERY the BAD ONES CAUSE. infinite. fucking. universes, stanford. and honestly? I think you need to let things be, even if he turns out to be a bill. I dont want one of my friends to end up killing himself. I dont want that happening to ANY of my friends. and YOU were PART OF THE REASON HE FUCKING CONSIDERED IT, HENCH. you, and your god damned mindset."
"Wilhelm.. what's going to happen if you're wrong about them?"
"Then ill be wrong. and ill admit to just that."
[something hench seems to have a hard time doing.]
"That won't help the people hurt during their tantrums!"
"You want me to admit I'm wrong!? Fine! I- I've misjudged the character of a few! Are you happy!? I know I've made mistakes Wilhlem I don't need to participate in a humiliation ritual listing them all off!"
"im not suggesting you partake in a humiliation ritual, stanford!"
"Then what is it you want from me!?"
"ive made it clear what I want! I think!"
"I can't look at the numbers Wilhelm! It's not that simple- I know they'll hurt people. Thers a part of me that knows that I can't find the power to ignore! I don't want more people to suffer- and I certainly don't want that for cowboy but- if I don't do or say something I'm complicit in his plans! I don't want to help him anymore than I foolishly have! I never wanted to be a pawn and i won't go back to that and I don't want that for anyone else"
"youre not a pawn! and you wont be complicit in any plans! okay? youre— god.."
[that last bit didnt...sound? angry?]
"...you wont be complicit in anything. okay?"
He pauses and exhales before responding "Okay.."
"good.."
"..youve got good intentions, but my god, youve sometimes got a shitty way of executing them."
[that sounded more lighthearted.]
Hench pinchs the bridge of his nose "Yes- I've come to notice"
SMC: HELLO STANFORD! :D
*gasp! a ghost is texting him!*
Hench: Who is this? Cease messaging me.
SMC: you want your FAVORITE cookie to STOP MESSAGING YOU? :0
SMC: how odd!!
Hench: I was informed of your premature death.
