A sub Safe Space

If you believe everything you see here on tumblr, you would be forgiven for thinking its all about sucking his cock on demand.

That’s basically it, right?

No. Not in a real, authentic relationship.

If its all based around sex, then yep, that’s good.

But D/s or M/s isn’t anything at all to do with sex for many people. For those of us that actually live this way all the time.

Neither way is right or wrong, of course.

But…..please don’t assume we are all the same.

Pleasing Him is listening to Him, and taking notice. Actually doing as He has instructed.

Pleasing Him is remembering those little things that matter to Him, even if they mean nothing to me.

Pleasing Him is being quiet when He needs to concentrate on something.

Pleasing Him is immediately reacting to a request or instruction without even thinking about it.

Pleasing Him is noticing when His drink needs refilling.

Pleasing Him is tidying up after myself at His place.

It’s those little, seemingly quite boring things.

And yes, being available and willing to please Him sexually in any way He sees fit, at any time. That does it too of course, lol.

It’s everything big or small.

It’s things that take great thought and effort, and things that take hardly any time or focus.

Doing things simply to please Him…..

Submission isn’t always sexy. It isn’t always exciting. It isn’t all porn and sex and being tied up.

It is hard sometimes. Ok, it is REALLY hard sometimes. Especially when it isn’t any kind of choice.

For the bedroom only subs, it’s a choice, and that’s absolutely fabulous. More power to them (lol, i realise that’s a bit of an oxymoron if you think about it). 

And i am pretty certain it’s also not always easy for them. But the point of that comparison is, they can easily choose to switch it off. Or rather they have times when it isn’t even in their conciousness. They can happily go about their day, and not do anything even slightly submissive until another ‘’scene’’ comes around, or another night of sexy, kinky fun is on the cards.

Again, yep, that’s great. Literally NOTHING wrong with that. Enjoy. Do your thing and have fun with it.

But i am talking about 24/7 stuff. The stuff that ISN’T a choice. 

Did i choose to be this way? You bet your backside i did not!

It has caused a lot of problems in my past. Guys who i told, hoping they would understand, and who simply rubbed their gleeful hands together thinking ‘’ooh, an easy chick i can order around in bed!’’ or even NOT in bed. 

And even guys who i didn’t tell, because it was before i figured it all out. Before i figured out why i was so frustrated and worked out exactly what was missing.

i didn’t realise my submissive nature until only a few years ago. It was a very gradual process, and it took a very long time for me to work it all out, and to put an actual name to it.

But even now, when i am with the most amazing Man i have ever met. When i am with someone who actually understands, appreciates and accepts me. And someone who actually wants this part of me…..it still isn’t ‘’easy’’.

Of course, part of that is simply the kind of submissive that i am. Some days are a struggle for me. Sometimes i feel completely inadequate and that i am not ‘’enough’’. No, not as a person, or as a woman in her own right, but as a submissive.

An almost constant inner dialogue, telling myself i could do better, i could give more, i could try harder, i could stop asking so many questions…etc, etc, etc. 

Even when He tells me that i am doing good, that He understands why it’s not always easy to simply let go. He tells me i give Him so much. But……those thoughts don’t quit.

And just living away from Him, having to pretend to be ‘’normal’’ in any environment where we are not together, and away from other people.

Like i have said before, that is the act. That is the role i play.

When all i want to do is fall at my knees and lay my head against His lap, or to put myself at His feet, or call Him Master (no, names are not important, but that is what i feel most comfortable calling HIm - that would be the same for anyone in the vanilla world that had to call their partner anything other than what they usually call them, for whatever reason).

So no, it isn’t always easy to be this way. 

But is it worth it? For me, yes, absolutely. Because i know that my Master needs that from me, and i know that i need control and dominance from Him. 

You’ve Probably Been Told That Being a Homemaker is the Worst Career Choice You Can Make – But Think Again

We live in a society that pressures young women to go into fields like business and law.  Businesswomen and lawyers spend $300 per month on lattes, $2,000 – $3,000 per month on lunches, and a $500 for a vintage outfit, and $250 for maid service.  A good homemaker can provide delicious custom lattes to herself and her husband for less than $30 per month, excellent deli–quality lunches for less than $150 per month, can create a unique vintage outfit for herself for under $50, and the only expense involved in keeping the home clean is buying the cleaning products.

You see, being a homemaker is a great deal different than what you’ve been taught; it’s not the lazy, stupid route that feminists would have you believe.  As the Operations Manager of a home, the homemaker must be sure to lower expenses of the home without sacrificing quality (sounds like the job of a CEO if you think about it).  The extra money that the homemaker saves can be spent by her husband on home improvements, buying her new appliances, improving the garden, new pots and pans, Christmas, Birthdays, Valentine’s Day, even vacations for the two of you.

It’s not as glamorous as being a businesswoman or lawyer?  That depends on how glamorous you make it.  Why can’t you go about your homemaking duties dressed in heels and a vintage dress with pearls and full makeup on?  

You don’t get as much recognition from your boss if you’re a homemaker?  Nonsense.  As a homemaker, your boss gives you sex, gifts, shoes, flowers, you name it.  If that’s not recognition, tell me what is.

Learning to cook, clean, sew, and sexually pleasure your husband are critical skills.  And while some may come more naturally than others, these skills are essential to the smooth and efficient operation of the home.

Here on Tumblr, we see a lot of “stay home and suck dick” memes which is a great sexual fantasy, but it doesn’t do much to improve the man’s financial standing in the world.  Your husband can’t be considered successful if you are nothing more than a sexual toy.  Just staying home and pleasuring your husband is the job of a housewife – a homemaker’s job is much more difficult.  Cooking, cleaning, sewing, gardening, laundry, ironing, medicine, organization – these are critical skills to the homemaker.

So the next time you’re told that “being a housewife is a job for losers”, you can quietly giggle knowing that you’ll be dressed in unique, stylish clothes, eating restaurant level food for every meal, enjoying top–quality lattes, coffees, and teas, all while looking spectacular doing it.

Homemaker is a loser job? No.  An hour long commute only to spend half your day’s wages on clothes, coffee, and food is for losers.

You’re a winner. That’s why you’re a homemaker.

My blog post list was getting long when adding podcasts to it too, so I thought I would start updating a podcast list separately. 

We try to put out new episodes over the weekend, typically publishing on Sunday. We are open to discussing ideas and answering questions on upcoming podcasts so feel free to message us or submit asks and just mention the podcast so we’ll know to address it there. His blog is @cynicaldom .

How we got here - on our dating/love backstory and early Domestic discipline and D/s before finding Tumblr.

https://soundcloud.com/overtheknee/how-we-got-here

How we do D/s - on what our D/s includes and why it’s meaningful to us.

https://soundcloud.com/overtheknee/how-we-do-ds

How we draw our lines - Consent and limits 

https://soundcloud.com/overtheknee/draw-lines

Feeling off - discussing why D/s has felt hard 

https://soundcloud.com/overtheknee/feeling-off

Questions - answering your questions 

https://soundcloud.com/overtheknee/questions

24/7 D/s - Discussing what we feel this label means and answering some FAQ’s about full time D/s. 

https://soundcloud.com/overtheknee/247-ds-1

Blooming sadomasochism - Our spanking & impact play has amped up. We pause to discuss what the future of our sadism & mashochism will look like. 

https://soundcloud.com/overtheknee/blooming-sadomasochism

Interrogating CynicalDom - *new I ask CD questions about himself and his views on our D/s. We also talk about his Dom hat. It’s a sombrero. 

a good slap in the face

a cock in my mouth

Ask. “What do you want, sweetheart? What do you want me to do to you, huh? Good little subs only get what they want if they ask nicely.”

“Say please.”

Praise praise praise praise praise

“God, love, you look so good like that, with your lips wrapped around my fingers. You love being stuffed don’t you? Love being on your knees.”

(Degrade degrade degrade)

“Fuck, look at that dirty little mouth, just drooling to have my fingers in it. Little cockslut, you’ll take anything, won’t you?”

Start to mix the two together.

“Pretty little whore, you look absolutely gorgeous like that, on your knees for me. You’ll be all marked up by the time we’re done, everyone will know you’re my slut, no one else’s.”

What are you going to do to them? What are you gonna do if they misbehave?

“You make another sound and you won’t be able to sit down for days.” “I want you tied to this bedpost, crying under my tongue once I’m done with you. I want you so overstimulated you’re begging me to stop, to slow down. I won’t.”

Bonus! For LDRs!

Order them.

“Strip for me.” “On your knees, now.” “Spread your legs and touch yourself, love, nice and slow. Tell me what you’re doing.”

Restrict.

“Touch yourself for me, but just one finger. You can use it however you want, but just one.” “Don’t come until I say so.” “You have the next five minutes to come. If you don’t, you have to wait until tomorrow.”

Imagine.

“God I can imagine just what you’d look like right now, lips parted, whining for me. How loud do you think I could get you?”