since i feel a little more comftorable sharing the new place that i moved dean too ( sort off ) but this reminds me to finally do actual writing. the motivation simply just vanished til now so here we go to anyone who i didn't follow initially, and don't take it to heart if i didn't when you've got at least 50+ follows if that count is even right some simply fall through the cracks. for a while i was cherry picking my dash to not feel so much in a fog when it came to this blog, and so without further ado @wrathunts

so i cannot shake that i feel absolutely isolated in this blog. i got a lot of followers from my soft-reboot, and branching back out yet i still feel boxed in. a lot of plots and or ideas i have talked about since coming back yet never doing anything. i think i will just archive this blog and make another but downscale to being more or less, a private blog and mutuals only blog. i will only likely stick to that within the first month maybe? i just need a change and so with that being said hit this with a one of those hearts or whatever if you want to remain mutuals through this change?

come find me at @forallt1me finally convinved myself to bring back my multi which will primarily feature my star wars oc. it's still getting set up because i never did it before.

would anyone be willing to write with my star wars oc? to be honest i don’t even know if the fandom is still active.

the storm of rage that was brought on by having reached his own breaking point with the mark, a betrayal by his brother despite good intentions ( the hyprocricsy for dean to be this mad is another post entirely ), the death of charlie at the hands of humans. there was nothing saying that the styne family was anything short of ordinary is a lie but they are technically mortal. once he takes in the first kill then the others and so on and so forth it get's harder to dial it down. it's a new level of rage that he's never felt and the trip that takes him on includes the death of that one hunter whose name i forgot, but a week long slash fest of monsters, innocent or not so innocent hunters, and it all leads up into the finale of that season. though dean's mentality and what he was thinking may be a headcanon at some point too. because it's a train wreck.

one day i will bring back my star wars ( bounty hunter / mandalorian oc ). the only part is he was written before the mandalorian series and any further lore added to it, such as the dark saber which my oc as a direct descendant of pre vizsla and as such tarre vizsla. that he managed to retake the dark saber and kept it as in his mind it’s a vizsla heirloom. it belongs to his even if for most of his childhood and into early adulthood he is separated from his culture. obviously it is my own character and i can choose not to write in disney canon, but i love din and the cast of characters in the mandalorian. which means i will cherry pick it if I bring him back.

when you want to do an edit for @luc1fell but photoshop skills are ass. it's why i am remaining iconless because i also just don't have the paitence to icon a handful of icons for lucifer ( whose fc is hayden christensen ) we've moved on from mark for good reason. which reminds me lucifer is open for all interactions, but keep in mind i am heavily canon divergent. if you do want to interact and do have any questions regarding canon changes to him and his story within the narrative.

it's truly depressing that from the moment we meet dean and sam. the story slowly begins to unravel that his identity is heavily tied his family, to his brother and father, and to their job but his own identity? it's almost nonexistent because without them? he is nothing and cannot be anything because he has only ever existed for one purpose as his he quoted his father " protect sammy. look after your little brother boy. " this isn't a post aimed at targeting john winchester for his faults, but the insecurities that dean carries from the very moment and nearly til the end of the series. it is one that continously plays on a vicious cycle on repeat with details only slightly changing. another that dean truly believes himself unworthy of love, admiration, the ability to ever truly be happy. that his happiness exists only for the job and to the people he saves, case in point for others. one can argue that when he says that there is no other place he would rather be, then in the impala, and with his brother at his side? it's still tied to his brother and a duty that was doctrined into his head at a young age, and it's honorable because they're saving people, and in a small way make the world a better place. i think it's worth mentioning that any single memory he had in heaven? he is never absent of a single person...except in the one memory where he was searching for sam after he left for standford. dean winchester has always lived for others and never once himself. in the fifteen years of the show's run the only moment of happiness is when they're free from chuck's narrative, and the moment he begins to live for himself he dieds literally days, weeks, or months later? it's a slap in the face and that even if dean spends a majority of the show believing himself unworthy of live and that his own needs are lesser then that of those he loves? it's why refuse to acknowledge the ending of supernatural, but the rest i do because it's part of dean's journey. to break the cycle he contiously stays in because it's hard to when it's all he has known? i may misunderstanding the points in between, a and z, but no one can argue that his struggle has always been he is his own worst enemy.

as a dean winchester blog i think it's a crime i haven't written with any bobbys. the real and most heinous crime is...no sam? like brother? you're older brother is just going to eat god awful amounts of junk good and make poor decisions. such as watching guy fieri's triple d and then turning around and making said food.

why is it the one perfect url i want to use is hoarded by a blog with no posts and is seemingly inactive? i suppose i just settle for less?

after playing silent hill 2 remake. though dk expect dean to have a silent hill verse soon.

a realization that i now had ( not that it hasn't rattled around in my brain for a while now ) thru a discussion with one of my buddies. through each and every re-watch of supernatural, but i somehow forget that dean likes anime. not just anime but he has watched and enjoys hentai. dean being a lowkey weeb wasn't on my 2024 bingo card, but here we are all the same.