When is a wife not a wife?

"I can see your point, but I still think you're full of it."

"I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public."

"I see the screw up fairy has visited again."

"You are validating my inherent mistrust in strangers."

"I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth."

"The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist."

"I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid."

"I'm not being rude, you're just insignificant."

"You! Get off my planet."

"Too many freaks, not enough circuses."

"Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?"

"You're not special."

"If I throw a stick, will you leave?"

"Who lit the fuse on your tampon?"

"Oh I get it. It's like humor, but different."

"Aren't you a black hole of need."

"Sure I'll help you out. Which way did you come in?"

"If you have something to say raise your hand, then place it over your mouth."

"I’m too busy, can I ignore you some other time?"

"Don’t let your mind wander, it's too small to be let out on its own."

"Have a nice day, somewhere else."

"You’re not yourself today, I noticed the improvement straight away."

"You are as pretty as a picture, I’d really like to hang you."

"Don’t believe everything you think."

"Do you hear that? That’s the sound of no-one caring."

18. Incest!AU

"Have you run off on me again?"