( -- snapchat adventures of raven and hyukjae ! )
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@hellrcised-blog
( -- snapchat adventures of raven and hyukjae ! )

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jasper-ismsâ:
âAre you sure?â He sleepily mumbled against her neck, he was definitely too comfortable now. Jasper didnât want to move from this spot but knew if he didnât heâd wake up with a sore back and a sore neck to match. âIâm wide awake and ready for action⊠Itâs an after-school program⊠They donât get out of school until 3:20- lots of time to sleep inâŠâ Jasperâs eyes were shut, as his voice got softer. âIâm ready to paaaaarty as quoted in Bridesmaids⊠What do you want to do?â
nodding their approval, raven shushed him softly. they knew he should get to bed but that included getting up from this moment and loosing the warmest heat source ever. while still wide awake and likely would be for hours, raven wouldnât mind laying here until she fell asleep but knew jasper had to get to bed instead. âthis couch can not be that comfortable for you. we can do more things tomorrow if you want- after the kids of course.â another kiss to his forehead, fingers through his hair, raven spoke about getting up and going to bed but still did not make a move to do so.Â
elijah-ismsâ:
He hummed as Jay answered, âThat explains it⊠Iâve basically been hermitting and studying for the past four months. Whereâd you come from?â The crunch of the first snow of the season was heard from underneath Elijahâs boots as he shivered from the cool breeze. Certainly not as cold as Manitoba- but still cold enough to send a shiver down the boyâs spine. A small chuckle escaped Elijahâs lips as the other boy asked about his books- âPsychology⊠but Iâm starting to think itâs not for meâŠâ
a small laugh, sympathizing with his study habits. âi was that kid in school, thankfully alaska forced me into a social life.â thinking of his best friend, he grinned a bit more and shrugged. âborn in daegu, south korea but my mom raised me on toronto after i was like a year old or something.â he was careful to say just his mother, never a mention of his dad ( whoever it might be ). glancing down at the bag and then back to elijah, he nodded. âhow many major changes have you gone through?â
@jasper-isms // new post because tumblr flagged the old thread because of the content lol what.
realizing they were far too caffeinated for jasper, raven felt a little bad about suggesting dragging the night on. âthe night might be young for me but youâve had a long day. you can go to bed, i might try and get some work done or stay up for a few hours watching netflix before passing out.â running fingers through his hair, raven was trying to convince him to get some sleep. cuddling with him was a new experience for sure, something theyâd never really done much before but now felt like it was meant to be. âcome on, i donât want to keep you up. donât you have the kids program tomorrow?âÂ
jasper-ismsâ:
Even if Ravenâs joke fell flat, he still let out a snort- âWeâre both fucked up so I guess that could go both ways⊠hm?â Trying to be as accepting as possible- which wasnât hard may he add, he listened closely to the words that came out of their mouth. âWhatâs the easy out? What if I like the challenge? Bold of you to assume that I would ever take the easy way outâŠâ Jasper teased, moving into her more (if that was possible) and closing his eyes as he relaxed. âPlease donât cry⊠Itâll make me cryâŠâ
âmatch made in hell, i guess.â trying hard to lighten the mood again, the atmosphere far too heavy for her liking. raven couldnât help but laugh, resuming fidgeting with his hair and curling in closer to him. after the weeks without jasper, they didnât quite realize how much of his touch they truly craved and how casual theyâd been in sharing touches with the other: a hand on the back to sneak past, picking hair off clothes, treating black eyes and busted lips, or the simple brush of fingers when items are passed back and forth. âiâm so over crying tonight. or for the rest of my life, to be honest.â taking a deep breath, raven calmed them self and pressed a kiss to his head ( awkwardly because of the angle but the attempt was made ). âlets do something fun, iâve missed our nights together.â

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jasper-ismsâ:
âN-no I wouldnât change my mind⊠Some of it is kind of badass- is that the right thing to say? Probably not⊠sorryâŠâ He rambled, squeezing her hand back before moving closer to them and resting his head on their shoulder. âI still love you⊠but I wish I knew before-â I wouldnâtâve made all those shitty jokes before, he wanted to add but decided to keep it in his head as a mental comment.Â
they nearly cried right then as jasper reassured gently that his feelings would not be changing after the life altering story that raven dropped on him. cuddling in close with him, raven reached up and twirled his hair softly, needing to touch as much of him as possible. his words rocked a fear in her, pausing for a moment. âbefore? as in, before you had feelings so you wouldnât fall in love with a mess like me?â it was meant to be a joke but the tone fell too flat, even she heard it. rejection was so easy right now and they expected it any second. the moment he came to his senses, he would realize whatâs been said and done and take it all back. raven wouldnât blame him if he did. âi just.. i love you and you deserved to know everything. you can take the easy out right now, if you want. i wouldnât blame you at all.â thought the simple idea of it had brown eyes welling with tears again.
jasper-ismsâ:
âItâs a lotâŠâ He repeated, mouth twitching at the squeeze of her hand. Pulling her towards him, he plopped her down beside him on the couch. Their touch brought him back out from his stunned daze, but he still couldnât process everything Raven told him. âThatâs a whole lot of stuff⊠Like, I didnât even- wow⊠Thatâs a lot.â
sitting next to him felt a little better, knowing he wasnât pushing away and closing off yet. the story had been a toll on them both, raven knowing it was a lot for him ( as he kept repeating ). âi understand if you need a few days before...â they slowed off and stared into the distance, unable to finish what they wanted to say. âjust let me know if you change your mind about anything.â worried he wanted to take back everything he just said, now that the truth of raven was sitting in front of him. âi would understand.â
having jasper hear this, be privy to information they had intended on keeping from anyone for a long time- it felt good to get off her chest finally. in their daze, raven did register the hand that reached out to her. stopping pacing just long enough to touch his hand, the blonde slipped fingers between his and squeezed ( just needing a physical reassurance that he was there and real ). âi know, itâs a lot. i didnât-â stopping, raven shook their head. âiâm sorry, you didnât need all of that.â
jasper-ismsâ:
âSometimes I forget you werenât born in the land of the north, hm?â He teased, taking a sip of his beer. Not to be cliche, but Jasper was the white-picket-fence kind of person. Though he didnât grow up with the exact fence, rather a balcony on the seventh floor, his parents still made it the best it could be. At least, it was pretty great until his mother passed away. He didnât enjoy talking about it much, but he still talked about it on occasion when asked.Â
Caressing her leg in some sort of attempt at comfort as they spoke, nodding to show that he was listening. He could relate to that, though probably not in the same way that Raven brought up. Again, he could relate to wanting a new life and feeling like it was wrong but not in the same measure that Raven intended- it was the feeling in his gut. Settling for the words of, âI get that âŠâ as he looked down at her, encouraging her to speak more.Â
raven sometimes envied the fact jasper had that nicer life, the things not given to her in the end. would things have turned out differently had the hospital not needed her mom that night? or what about that family who had done everything they could but raven still couldnât bring them self to stay? âwhat, the accent doesnât give that away?â raven had done pretty well in toning it down over the years, slipping into a more neutral way of speech ( until they were angry of course ). âi guess thatâs as good place as any to start,â raven continued, picking at chipped nails as she spoke. âi wasnât always a foster kid. i had a great mom and step-dad. my mom was an er doctor at the local hospital and my step-dad was a preschool teacher.â talking about them was hard, something they hadnât done in years. âmom was working on christmas eve, like usual but she promised she would be home that night. she always kept her promises, you know. but there was this huge thing in the er and she had to stay overnight. she drove home in the early hours of the morning to try and surprise me for christmas day. she never made it home.âÂ
jasper-ismsâ:
He poked her on the nose to tease her, âDonât laugh at me like that, I donât believe youâŠâ Jasper wanted to joke about Las Vegas and the Elvis priests but decided against it as Raven already seemed shocked enough that he just admitted his feelings and desires. Technically, they asked for a long-term answer but never specified about how long-term those goals were. A happy sigh escaped his lips as Raven traced shapes on his skin, âWhy didnât you think you were going to live until 30?âÂ
A question that probably came with a loaded answer, polishing off the bowl of pasta while listening to her speak. Running his fingers through her hair gently, he nodded understanding. âOf course I want to hear everything⊠Youâre like my greatest, most beautiful mystery⊠I told you my depressing fun facts about my life, I guess itâs only time for yours to come outâŠâ he joked. Â
as if on cue, their nose scrunched up when he poked it, giving him a funny face as they did. eyes crossed, they shook their head softly before laughing, rubbing at her nose. the idea of marrying jasper but her head in such a spin but they could see it: growing up, raising kids, buying a house, planning family vacations- everything raven missed growing up but was determined to give to their kids.Â
âthere was a really dark time in my life that i wasnât sure i was going to make it to the next day.â swallowing hard, they avoided his gaze for a while, looking down at their lap or over his shoulder to the night outside. does she dare tell him everything now or start with the easy stuff and build up? the desire to share her life was never there before but jasper deserved to know what he was getting into. âiâve tried really hard to start a new life here. after getting my citizenship, i promised myself i would never think about my life before vancouver but not thinking about it feels wrong- like iâm forgetting the lessons i learned.â and learned a lot they did. âi donât even know where to start.â

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jasper-ismsâ:
Surprised at her bringing him back a beer along with his food, he smiled again- âYouâre too good to me⊠H-hey now, whatâs that dirty look forâŠâ Jasper studied how she talked, watching how her lips moved to form each sentence. Hoping that they didnât notice how he smiled and how his eyes followed every word that was formed on their lips. Raven had a point about thinking long-term, communication was important.Â
Pulling Raven to rest on his lap while he ate his pasta, a hum escaped his lips as he agreed with what she was saying. Jasper wanted to date her, of course, but he also wanted to still be their best friend. He wanted so many simple pleasures in life for them, shit that you couldnât do or get if you were single. He wanted to marry them, have babies with them, grow old with them. And maybe it was too soon to say all that because after all, they just told each other how they feel but after two years Jasper knows his feelings. âI donât want to lose you either⊠I wanna marry you.â He paused for a moment, âEven if saying that was too soon, I want t put it up in the air.â
they easily settled into his lap, something that the pair had done many times before ( though now it felt much different ). slender fingers snipped pieces of tomatoes from the sauce, popping them in her mouth as he ate. an easy silence settled over them as he ate, her giving him time to gather his thoughts before answering. they hoped he was on the same page as them, wanting the same things or close to. willing to compromise, raven knew it would come down to jasper comfort in this matter- fearful his past would keep him from wanting too much right away.Â
of course his words shocked her, eyes going wide and mouth falling open. floored, raven had not expected nearly anything of that level to be admitted right now. sure, they were hopeful about a long term future for him but held no dreams about being in it with him forever. they wanted him to rise as far as he could, with or without her there. she was under no illusion he was ready for that kind of commitment, but he was telling her otherwise.Â
âi-â they donât know what to say. a half dazed smile sits on their features, mind wandering before looking back at him and giving a breathless laugh. âiâm sorry, iâm not laugh at you.â just the situation. never in their life did raven ever expect someone to state so easily plans of marriage. âiâve never- i never thought someone would tell me they wanted to marry me. in honestly, i never expected to live to see thirty so..â fingers traced random patterns on any exposed skin they would find on him and sighed. âi would love to spend the rest of my life with you, jasper. but i want you to hear who i am, what i used to be, before you commit to that okay?â this was never something raven wanted to share with him, they never wanted to tell anyone this story but going forward she knew he would have to understand her past before being her future. raven fully prepared herself for him to not want to be with her after it was all said.
jasper-ismsâ:
âThank you-â He called out as they took his bowl to the kitchen, dragging out you until she turned back to look at him. In his defense, Raven made some delicious pasta and he couldnât pass up the opportunity to devour it all to himself. Especially after work and an extra practice session. If he was honest, their cooking was probably the biggest perk of living with them.Â
Leaning over the counter as the microwave heated the meal back up, his ears were wide open for Ravenâs blabbering questions. Eyebrow cocked at her frantic speak, a shrug rolled off his shoulders so naturally. âDunno⊠I was thinking that I just lay in bed with the pasta and you⊠maybe a good movie? Thatâs short term. Letâs be honest here babe- can I call you that now? It feels natural, might as well⊠Weâve been basically platonically dating for two years, I donât think anything is going to change if we add in kisses here and there, hm? I donât want to push anything either-â He didnât really know where to go with this, or what was going on. Though, he would never complain about it.Â
after years on their own, raven had to learn to cook or starve. out of pure survival theyâd started making different dishes until mastering a few. they were proud to share that with him as well, knowing it helped look after the boy but also gave them a reason to do something like this instead of just her own survival but the looking after of another. âyouâre welcome,â they called out to him, refilling and heating the bowl.Â
carrying it back with a beer for him as well, the blonde placed it all on the coffee table before giving him a look. hands on hips, eyes narrowed, lips slightly pursed- what raven called the mom look. used many times on elijah, often on jasper too. âi was thinking more long term, because if anything proves we need to communicate what we want or need, itâs the last few weeks.â they realize it was a lot of their own doing, being unable to say what theyâd wanted after that night. instead they fell asleep and then went on with life like it hadnât happened, only confusing the situation more. reaching for him, raven dropped to the couch and pulled him with her. âyou can call me whatever you want,â they replied softly, a small smile brightening their features.Â
sure, what the life before in the apartment had been like could very well be described as platonic dating but the last thing needed was someone assuming the wrong thing and just causing more problems. âi think we should just say what we want. put it all on the table and go from there. because i donât want to lose you, jasper. you mean the world to me and i just want to be on the same page so no one expects more than the other is willing to give.â
asapncahâ:
ft. @hellrcised
âknock knock!â noah announced as she let herself into ravenâs apartment, a smile on her face as she cast a look around the front room in search of her blonde friend. her nerves felt at ease as she crossed the threshold, all thanks to the text raven had sent earlier promising her that jasper would be out all night. not that noah couldnât bare the thought of sharing a room with the former flame, she just wasnât keen on letting her tension with the male ruin her cozy, movie marathon with her close friend. setting down her armload of wine, chips, and candy, noah began sorting through ravenâs cupboards in search of dishes for their snacks. âiâm thinking, âcause âtis the season, we dive into netflixâs collection of christmas movies,â the small girl started. âthat new one with vanessa hudgens looks absolutely adorable.â
knowing jasper would be out for the night, or at least until very late thanks to plans with the team. while raven often went over to noahâs for movie night they really enjoyed staying in their own apartment when it was empty because the two could do as wished without disturbing anyone else who might be home. hearing the faux knock, raven stood to open the door but was beaten but noah just letting herself in. a grin spread across ravenâs face as they watched her unload the arm full of goodies brought along. âonly if we get the christmas prince thrown in too because it was my favorite last year.âÂ
alcskahqsâ:
ânothing looks ugly on me, raven.â a feline smirk graced her lips. alaska was not claustrophobic. sure, small places did kind of freak her out and when sheâs people crawling in them in movies she turns the channel. but sheâs not afraid of them. âi think iâm freaking out the completely right amount!â she breathed out, looking at the exensive watch on her wrists. âoh! and great! iâm late for my leg wax.â
âliterally anything looks awful on you. mostly your shitty personality shining through, of course.â dark eyes slide over the younger girl, wondering just how this child got under their skin so easily. sure, raven might be a hot-tempered person but this was just a new level of irritation. âthe fact you pay someone do your hygiene for you speaks on so many levels, mostly just screams how fucking high maintenance you are. god, i was wondering why i hate you and just listening to the shit out of your mouth tells me why.â
jasper-ismsâ:
âI donât know why I would ever hate youâŠâ He chuckled, biting his lip as she brushed her fingertips across his skin. âDonât worry⊠not a dream, Iâm still realâŠâ Taking his hand over hers and bringing them down to their sides intertwined for a moment as he admired her. In a million years he never thought heâd be having this conversation with anyone, let alone Raven;  but the heart wants what it wants.Â
The words I Love You sounded much more tender and full emotion coming from them now, their lives coming full circle in the center of the living room. As they wrapped their arms around him, he snuggled them closer and rested his chin on the top of their head. You could hear his sniffles, an aftershock from crying, as he kissed the top of her head. The question now stands- what do they do now? The two of them swayed back and forth gently as they stood there, englufed in the peaceful silence of the moment. Only to be broken by a small almost giggle from Jasper, âI might have to reheat my pastaâŠâ
there was true fear that jasper hated them after the fight, after the words exchanged that night. pointing out the ghost of mel, throwing that in his face, had been cruel and raven worried he wouldnât have forgiven them ever for it. hearing him say he doesnât hate her, gives such an overwhelming sense of relief that they nearly started crying right then.Â
hearing his sniffles startled her, worried he was crying again before he laughed softly. it rumbled against them and looking up at jasper, raven was going to ask if he wanted to go to bed before finally he brought up the pasta left on the table. an unimpressed look from raven before rolling eyes, grinning at the same time. slipping from his arms, they reached for the bowl and headed for the kitchen.
ânot to be that cliche but- what now?â they were confused as what should happen next, what he expected. raven had many questions and nervous energy brought them up, starting the rambling. âi mean, what are you thinking? what should we do now? what do you want to do? i donât want to rush you, i donât want to push this- iâm just curious and i need to know whatâs going on.â

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elijah-ismsâ:
It was funny hearing someone say their name like that- Elijah knew it was how names like Jayâs went but it was so odd to hear in his ears. A part of him wonders that if he wasnât adopted what his name would be, probably not as Americanized as his name is now. The poor kid felt like a fraud most of the time, speaking an embarassingly low level of Korean (also known as none), not knowing how to hold chopsticks, and the final straw is probably having the whitest name on planet earth. âWell, hi I guess JayâŠâ He awkwardly laughed, trying to keep pace with the smaller boy. âWhen did you move in? I swear Iâve never seen you aroundâŠâ
standing next to him, jay realized just how much of a height difference their was and scowled a little. giving a little head bow of course, jay started walking with elijah toward him, no longer cursing his idea not to drive today. while the weather hadnât been too bad it was still bitterly cold for early winter. ânice to meet you.â with a shrug, jay counted on fingers before cracking a grin. âabout four months now i think. just as the semester started, i transferred over.â looking at the otherâs bag on his shoulder, he couldnât help but ask. âwhat major are you in that you need this many books?â
jasper-ismsâ:
His breath hitched as she hugged him, relief rushing through his veins. And for a moment, the two of them just cried it out. Too much emotion trapped in two little bodies, all rushing out at once like waterfalls. Jasper knew she felt guilty for this, he felt it in the way they grasped at his t-shirt, knuckles turning white from the pressure.Â
Looking into her eyes as Raven wiped the tears from his cheeks, he did the same for her only being careful that he didnât smudge any eye-makeup that she might have had on. Feeling her lips on his, he smiled into the short kiss and let out a small noise in between a sigh of relief and a laugh as he kissed back. Closing his eyes and kissing back with a little more pressure before pulling back and whispering, âI love youâŠâÂ
if someone had told raven weeks ago this would be happening, that the man sheâd fallen in love with felt the same way and they would sharing such a moment in the middle of the living room- well they wouldnât have believed anyone. to have someone like jasper confess such feelings, something raven never thought theyâd deserve or hear, was such a mind-blowing event that part of her didnât trust it was real.
pinching herself, she laughed and looked back at jasper with hopeful eyes that still had a little wetness left in them. âi promise, theyâre not sad tears. at least, not anymore.â brushing fingers across his face again, they just studied him closely and shook their head. âiâm afraid to do anything else, afraid this might all be some dream and iâll wake up with you still hating me.â the sheer idea of having jasper hate them was too much, a fear that they never knew existed until these last few weeks.Â
the words, so softly spoken, brought a smile to their face. sure, theyâd said how much they loved each other before but not like this, not in such a way. raven had always cared for jasper from the first moment theyâd met him in this exact room so it only felt fitting the next part of their lives together happened here too. âand i love you,â they whispered, moving in just a little closer and putting warms around his middle again. no longer a desperate grab for his warmth, raven just stood there in contentment at the feeling of his body surrounding hers.Â