This Is My Canvas; I Paint It With Words

No matter how far I steer towards the worst versions of myself, you pull me back to shore. Every time.

In a century where people are frantically sewing back their bleeding egos, each stitch reminds them of the wounds inflicted on their egos, every instance that made them feel small and insignificant. We try to micromanage and control situations to our liking but when anyone disrupts that order, like a violent thunderstorm taking over a ship, we fall to pieces. Unable to see beyond this wound to our pride, we wallow in bitterness as dregs of whisky and wisps of smoke are our only means of solace. What we fail to realise is that sometimes letting go, while difficult, is the better choice. Holding on to receipts of damage inflicted upon our pride not only weigh us down but also our happiness. We have a choice we can carry the weight of our ego on our shoulders or shrug it off and opt for inner peace.

I feel the pull of your tide, Your waves surround mine but you never pull me in. I've surrendered to your lies before they begin. But what we have is only gravity, Our lips inching closer as our souls move apart; The warmth of my skin a dagger piercing your cold heart; Bleeding lust you draw me closer; Your embrace is my shrine. I'm drowning in your vices and then I realise, That you're one of mine.

We live in a century where raw emotions take shelter behind a cold hard screen. Am I too clingy? Am I too desperate? Am I playing this right? The cards are never fully on the table, everyone's calling bluff. But love can never fit into systematic levels of intimacy, it can never be caged to supposed societal expectations. Love can only be felt in those fleeting moments where two eyes meet for the first time, a laughter echoes in ones mind. Now that is the real deal.

“It’s not you its me,” the lie callously fell from his lips. “You’re right, it’s not you, it is me,” she smiled, “ I like to find joy in the small things in life. My favourite song on the radio or dinner with my close friends. I don’t need over the top declarations of love. Just a hand to hold onto when dancing to a slow song at 2 am or a smile to cherish on the bad days. But you are the rock to my butterfly wings and I’ve had enough. I know what I’m worth,” she said as she flashed one last smile at him.

This was something that went beyond the way his eyes met mine, this is about that part of his soul that reflected mine. He sees my flaws as perfections, a mere speck of black in the white. The past is a reminder of our mistakes but his perfections overshadow the flaws inside.

The fresh air of the snow capped mountains fills my lungs, making up for all the times the torrent of tears cut off any air. In nature I found acceptance. If the flowers can bloom like they never have before after that long winter made it impossible for them to stand their ground, so can I. So can I forget about all the wrong doings and the mirages of friendship and just soak in the reality of these grand valleys and little flowers.

You hold onto memories of the past to escape the present; trying to find solace in empty promises. But it's no longer dawn and the sun is settling on another lost friendship.Letting go is hard, the pieces are too deep in your skin. It may not seem like it but your wounds will heal. One day someone is going to do right by you for every wrong that left you awake at night.

Few digits on a weighing scale, a number on a test you gave. These numbers may be diminishing your self worth but it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter when you're laughing with your friends for silly reasons; when you're curled up with your dog on a rainy day; when you're looking at childhood photos, reminiscing that trip you took with your parents; when you're dancing to your favourite song with the love of your life at 2 am. So forget about those numbers there's so much more to look forward to.

It would mean the world to me if you checked out my poems :) I hope you’re having a great day/night ox

Comparisons are futile. As you go on speculating your ideal self, you diminish the value of your actual self. In a pretentious society like ours where everyone's just hopping on the bandwagon, someone who dares to be themselves radiates an inner beauty that is absolutely irreplaceable.

People are going to lie to you, use you, create false hopes in your mind and then shatter that illusion. Bitterness and despair will run amok in your mind. But when you’re standing on a peak of the highest mountain breathing in the clear morning air, it won’t matter. When your heart is beating to the rhythm of a song that cleared the clouds on a rainy day, it won’t matter. When you're admiring the soft, warm glow of the sun while you sip tea with your better half, it won’t matter.

Maybe it's okay to give a part of yourself to everyone you meet, they may give it back or take it with them. Yes there are cracks in your foundation that you can't fill with smoke and vodka. But one day someone's going to come and fill them all up, you see they were carrying this puzzle piece that never really fit them.

If life closes a door it gives you the key to open it too.

Long gone are the days when we called each other strangers. You found your place in my heart and called it home; the sound of your laugh still lingers in my head, like a blanket, when I'm alone. But falling in love with you meant taking a plunge into the unknown. I succumbed to gravity, so did you.

I snuck some matches in my pocket to light the fire in your eyes,to make you believe in all the things that you have come to despise. Your soul is lost in the wilderness of regrets. But stars only shine after the sun sets.