Fawn Foolery

I remember the cold

No spirit left in the eyes I behold

I never knew your body

Without warmth, without motion

You're still just as small, as the first time I heard you

But your crying ended

Without anyone to hear you

And tuck you in a sweater

How cold was the weather?

When your skin is just skin

And your bones are just bones

Did you miss me?

Did you want me, in the ending? 

Were you painless?

Were you in agony? 

Did the pavement embrace you kindly?

Do you hate me? No, you loved me

I loved you, but I left

And then once I was back you were already dead 

You would have been in my bed

Snuggled by my head

But you're gone, and that's the end.

Context: At the time, when he died I was not there, I had moved to my dad's for a year, who was a province away. I've always felt a tinge of guilt with that, as when I was with him, I pampered him so much. He would have not have been able to sneak outside that long, and yet he did. I got there so quickly when I found out, but coming home to your cat in a box is certainly surreal, it all felt like a bad dream.