HELLOSTUPIDITY

Just maybe. I'll never

I drown a thousand times

out of no where it comes creeping back to you

It’s like you were the fall I never really recovered from, you took the biggest part of my heart that I may not be able to get back.

And I wonder if this is all because I keep looking for you in them trying to find someone who resembles you.

For the heart has no room for anyone as there's none to begin with

And it is harder now than ever to realize that I’m no longer sinking, just floating in my own distresses, ricocheting off the bottom of the ocean and the shore. The emptiness no longer feels like an alien experience, it’s not uncomfortable, it is just unexpected but present, like a sigh of relief with a heavy heart. In that moment I know that I’ve become a walking paradox, the complete picture of a broken mess.

All I seem to be doing is swallowing my words, living my life with one foot under water and the other on solid ground. This isn’t a war with my life. It’s a conflict within my inner self, and I am not exploding anymore, on the contrary, just collapsing. 

she became one with the shadows

“I wished I have known you earlier”- C.T

Barely

And I realise human relationships do not fit with me. Not because it is lack of emotions, feelings or love. It is because as soon as you open up with your vulnerable self you are ripped apart.