i like cash and my hair to my ass

“Ah, I actually won something from the raffle. So it’s a $30 gift card to Luciole, huh?” That was that hair dresser place, wasn’t it. Honestly, it did surprise him that he did win anything at all, since he usually wasn’t really the lucky type. And getting his hair trimmed for free, sure was better than nothing at all! How unusual convenient things turned out for him for once! 

He would consider getting more than a trim, but it was way too cold to wear his hair any shorter. (Especially since he did wear beanie and scarf even on chilly summer days…)

“What, ya did? C’mon, you could give donate that to someone who needs it more!” 

Clearly, he never does anything with his hair! Clearly!!! Look at all this hair Semimaru has, he flips some off his shoulder, even, for emphasis!

“Donate to the Semimaru Needs A Trim charity? For the poor (me)?”

Maybe settling on how evil bugs were wasn’t exactly the lesson that Keiji thought that the other should have in mind, but at least he could breathe a little sigh of relief that kid seemed to be mostly fine – even able to sit up after a moment or so. “Too bad I couldn’t catch the slippery little guy, might’ve had to escort ‘em off campus myself to make sure it wouldn’t terrorize any more of you kiddies later on.” A quick look over seemed to mostly confirm that the other was okay and Keiji reached out to give that hard head of his a little ruffle.

“You don’t have to worry about your friendly campus policeman, I’ve taken plenty of lickings worse than this. How’s your head feeling? Maybe we should just go to the nurse anyway so she can get a good look at that noodle of yours. She’d know better if either of us needed an ice pack too, right?” 

“Put him in tiny handcuffs and get him in the paddywagon,” he laughs, shakily, and moves with the head-ruffle, halfheartedly pushing that hand away. 

Semimaru’s already getting to his feet, shaking it off, rolls a shoulder. “Nah, I think I’m alright. I don’t want them to do anything weird to me in there...my noodle is fine! I’ve got a hard ass head, this won’t get me down.” 

@hellorhighotters​ replied to your post: “ if you can’t be happy, at least you can be…

“Y’mean to tell me they’re paying you to listen to sob stories too? That’s like, basically a bartender! I don’t have any sorrows to spill, though.”

“Hey, better your friendly campus policeman than say, some other shady guy, don’t you think? I get a lil’ bit of amusement outta it too, so it’s a win-win really.” 

“Cops are pretty shady no matter what shade of uniform they wear.” Though he’s helped Semimaru out before, he hasn’t had the best of run-ins with authority figures. 

“Whー“ Semimaru is making an awful lot of assumptions about him… Exactly what kind of first impression has he been making? “Cutthroat? What do you mean by that?” What does he mean by ‘should’ve known’?

“I should hope I haven’t been that rude thus far…” He feels a bit like he’s grasping at straws. Should he try to find a way to make it up to him? Is it that serious? (he hopes it isn’t… he wasn’t entirely sure how to deal with it if it was.) 

“Oh you’ve definitely been an inporrigable ass!” He means incorrigible. “What I mean is you probably tell people their stick figures look like crap.” Ah, honesty, it’s so refreshing!

❝Sure, man. Whatever gets me free food.❞ Dabi leans back against the counter nearby and watches the guy do his magic. BLT seems like a good break from all the energy bars and instant ramen he’s been consuming for the past few weeks. 

Maybe he should have this guy make dessert too just to top it off. 

❝You a culinary student or something?❞ He questions, hoping the other dude is majoring in something related to pastry arts just so he can get a great dessert out of it. 

Anything is better than crappy ramen you can’t even put extra things in there. Semimaru nods happily to himself, humming under his breath.

starter for @hellorhighotters​

Jamil doesn’t know much about the other members of the cooking club, apart from the observations he’s made. One of the girls, for instance, he’s deduced is in the club purely to better her cooking skills for a girlfriend. There is one he can’t put his finger on: Semimaru. He doesn’t seem like the type of person you’d expect to find in a cooking club. At first glance, one would think he’d be more fitted to beating up people than eggs, but he treats others as if they’d been friends for a long time, which is interesting to Jamil.

Still, Jamil hasn’t talked to him personally, so when he is tasked to do some grocery shopping for the club with Semimaru, he sees it as a chance to get to know him. List in hand, he waits outside the cooking club, which is deserted for the day, and offers the other a nod when he seems him approaching.

“Good afternoon, sir Asai. I’ve plotted out the fastest way to the nearest truffle farm. Perhaps not as convenient as purchasing them from a store, but they might be fresher and far more affordable. Are you ready to depart?”

Sir? For about 2 seconds Semimaru glances around just in case someone else has the same last name-- unlikely, since it’s rather uncommon. But the formal way the other boy talks is just way weird--

“You can call me Semimaru-sama if you want, sir just makes me wish I was knighted or something,” this is what he finally settles on, strangely enough. He’d seen Jamil around the club, respectful and helpful as can be, though maybe a little stiff-- this is surely to be a learning experience. 

Well darn, maybe the guy was right about the grasshopper or the bug had some serious situational awareness, because what a perfectly placed and timed jump. On another impressive and slightly more concerning note, what fast reflexes this guy had – to even let go of his hand and throw both arms up in the air like that…

Fortunately for him and maybe a little less fortunately for Keiji, his own reflexes were decent still too. There wasn’t any way to prevent the other from falling to the ground now that the chair had crumpled under the force of a jump, but he could at least dive and protect the poor guy’s noggin from bouncing off the floor like a grasshopper might. Good thing he didn’t eat anything yet, otherwise decently landing on his stomach might have brought something other than some slight pain.

“…” Sheesh, this was the most action he’d seen in days and it was to keep this guy from cracking his head open. “…you alright?” 

Keiji is truly a good man, sworn of duty and valiant and true to catch a fool like Semimaru’s already empty enough noggin. There’s little bouncing that occurs but if this were an anime Semimaru would still see stars. 

Give him a minute, he’ll muster up the gratefulness in a second.

“Holy hell...can’t believe how evil those bugs are...I always knew I wasn’t crazy.” Eventually after a minute or so he sits up and looks at Keiji.

“A squash?! N-no! I have no idea how to prepare that! My old high school professor Mishima said, that it would be wasteful to not eat the food you draw! B-but… I wasted these tomatoes…” She still felt bad about ruining them in front of the others shoes too. He must think she was clumsy. Well, he wouldn’t be that wrong with that. But she didn’t want to be made fun of either!

That made her think though… Maybe drawing a squash wasn’t that bad of an idea after all! They did look more challenging to do than tomatoes for sure. “Uh, I know you were joking earlier but… do you know how to cook a squash?!” 

Semimaru can’t help but smile; she reminds him of someone he knows, just a little bit. He smiles and scrapes the bottom of his splatter-y shoes on the ground. 

“So you draw? Lifestyle drawings? You any good?” He means still lifes. Curious; who knows when you might need someone to draw stills of food. Maybe instapix of food won’t always cut it. 

@hellorhighotters​

    Yuri had just wanted to get back to the dorm and rest after a long day of practice.  He was tired and just wanted to take a warm shower to help his sore muscles and get started on his essay for class, and have a quick dinner from something in his fridge. A simple plan for the start of his long weekend.

    The walk back to his dorm was quiet and lonely, just the way he liked it. The only other person around was the man in front of him, but he had no plans of reaching out to talk with the guy and he better have felt the same. It was why he had stayed a few feet behind him, he was going to ignore him and that was going to be that.

    Or at least that had been the plan.

     The dancer had no idea what had happened, or how it had happened, but suddenly the man in front of him had tripped and fallen on face first. Yuri had to do everything in his power not to crack up right then and there, he was an asshole but he wasn’t going to outright laugh at a strangers pain.

     “That look liked it hurt….” 

Semimaru is just trying to live his life alright? School and his part-time work and assignments and taking care of himself...it’s rough! Rougher than usual! He’s so tired, so dragging his feet, so-- on his face.

It takes him a couple of seconds to realize he’s no longer walking automatically and has now stopped, and ouch, that--

“--HUUURRRTS! What the hell just happened?!”

Worse yet, someone saw! Semimaru is quick to flip over onto his as so he can at least sit there, face red both from the fall and embarrassment.

Take him in… for what exactly? For being scared of a grasshopper? As far as Keiji was concerned, that wasn’t exactly a crime. People said plenty of things that didn’t make sense under duress and he would deal with that later. 

“Not you no, think I’ll be taking this fella in instead, after I’m done helping you out. I’m here to protect and serve you students, after all.” Keiji joked briefly, taking a firm grasp of the other’s hand to keep him steady the best he can while gently guiding him off the chair. Of course, his gaze followed where his went, happening to look right down at the grasshopper just as it seemed to brace itself for one last jump. C’mon, don’t exercise your leg power when the situation’s almost secure…

Because fate is awful, and hates Semimaru, the grasshopper probably senses the fear. Which make it less innocent...maybe it’s evil. Either way it takes that one last futile hop right onto Semimaru’s chest. 

It takes him about 4 seconds to go all the colors of the rainbow, shove Keiji’s hand aside, and flail about 5 feet in the air,

❝O-Oi…❞ A huff of annoyance slips past Dabi’s lips the second he’s nudged away from the stove. His annoyance could have easily turned to resentment if it weren’t for the fact that this guy is apparently trying to help him— not that he needs his help. 

But he’s also hungry so he isn’t complaining.

❝I was just going to cook bacon. I don’t think I have the ingredients for a sandwich.❞

Semimaru is now way too smug and cannot be stopped. He begins to twirl a spatula expertly, and doesn’t even drop it, only gets it ready for the slabs of bacon he slaps back onto the pan.

“Lucky for you I always come prepared.” And he’d just come back from shopping in other people’s fridges.