ᥫ᭡

— izzy/izzybell, she/her, scandinavian

— requests always open🤗

— new to tumblr and writing🤍

— english is my fourth language, so spelling mistakes can can occur😬

— i don’t judge anyone except if you support ai and trump.🤧

— don’t be afraid to send in requests! i won’t judge🙌

— i don’t write smut yet, as i cringe when i write it, but i have no problem reading it😚

— i post on tuesday’s and thursday’s as i have a pretty busy schedule🫶

— i write for the avatar franchise, but i may expand it to a lot more fandoms later on🤭

posts:

evergreen series:

evergreen - part one lo’ak angst with a tad of comfort

evergreen - part two lo’ak angst with a tad of comfort/neteyam slow burn

evergreen - part three lo’ak angst with comfort/neteyam slow burn

evergreen - part four neteyam slow burn

evergreen - part five neteyam slow burn

till death do us apart series:

till death do us apart - part one neteyam fluff/angst

till death do us apart - part two neteyam fluff/angst

chosen by trouble series: (ongoing)

chosen by trouble - part one lo’ak slow burn

chosen by trouble - part two lo’ak slow burn

one shots:

only with you - ao’nung fluff/hint of smut

headcannons:

If it’s not a bother, could you write something similar where Lo’ak likes someone else (maybe Tsireya) and asks the Reader to help make her jealous using the fake dating trope? He could slowly develop feelings for the Reader while they are going through inner turmoil, trying to act normal and hoping to move on.

It could include a scene where he displays jealousy toward another male getting close to the Reader (like someone expressing interest in them) while simultaneously acting like he’s just playing his fake role.

This could also work for Neteyam. He could express that he likes a certain girl because she can stand beside him in the future, completely oblivious to the fact that the Reader has loved him since they were children. It would follow the same plot mentioned before.

I would love for it to have plenty of angst (where we really go through it emotionally) but with a happy ending. Sorry for the long message, and thank you so much! ^_^

pairings: rotxo x fem!omatikaya!reader

warnings: none, fluff, established crush

a/n: i know i was suppose to post part 3 of my ongoing series but i had no time to write so i made this instead

— he’s patient with everything

rotxo never rushes you when you’re learning something new, Whether it’s riding an ilu, diving deeper underwater, or adjusting to life with the metkayina, he’d stay beside you and encourage you the whole time

— he notices when you’re uncomfortable

even if you don’t say anything, he picks up on small signs, crossed arms, quieter responses, avoiding eye contact, and checks in on you

— he’s a great listener

rotxo would happily sit with you for hours, listening to stories, worries, or random thoughts without interrupting

— his smile immediately appears or brightens whenever he sees you

the second he spots you approaching, his face lights up. he doesn’t even realize he does it

— he loves teaching you about the reef

all the culture, creature, and current fascinates him, and he’d enjoy sharing that knowledge with someone he cares about

— he’s protective without being controlling

if a situation looks dangerous, he’ll stay close and help keep you safe, but he respects your independence

— rotxo is very reassuring

whenever you’re doubting yourself, he’s quick to remind you how capable you are and point out strengths you overlook or when your overthinking, he always reassures you

— he enjoys quiet moments together way more than loud ones

he doesn’t always need conversation. floating in the water, watching the sunset, or simply sitting together is enough for him

— he remembers small details

your favorite sea creature, the places you like to visit, stories you’ve told him once months ago, he somehow remembers all of it

— he’d help you practice anything

if you struggle with a skill, rotxo is the first volunteer for extra practice sessions, no matter how long it takes

— he loves making you laugh

his humor is gentle and playful. He’d tease you lightly just to see you smile, even though you fake it sometimes just because you’re completely smitten - but he doesn’t have to know that

— he gets proud of your accomplishments, sometimes even more proud than you are

if you master a new skill, he’s telling everyone about it, and especially if he was the one who taught you it

part one: chosen by trouble

summary: when the sully family arrives in awa’atlu seeking uturu, the clan watches them with caution, curiosity, and distrust. you try not to pay attention to the forest boy with sharp golden eyes and a reckless smile, especially after catching him staring during the communal feast. unfortunately for you, lo’ak sully has never been very good at looking away. and even more unfortunately, neither have the rest of the boys in the clan.

warnings: lo’ak sully has zero game strategy except staring, everyone notices, lo’ak is down catastrophically bad, pretty privilege but make it stressful, competitive flirting, lo’ak sully vs every metkayina male, reef drama

pairing: lo’ak sully x fem!reader

wc: around 2,5k

a/n: i was laughing my ass off while writing the tags

the days after the sully family arrives in awa’atlu begin changing shape before you even realize it is happening, slowly and quietly, in the kind of way that sneaks beneath your skin instead of crashing into you all at once, because at first it is only small things. noticing lo’ak sully standing somewhere in the distance during morning reef work, hearing his laugh before seeing him, catching him staring across communal platforms with that same impossible confidence written all over his face like he has never once been afraid of wanting something openly in his life

and eywa, that alone should have warned you

because boys in awa’atlu flirt constantly, they always have, especially with you, and usually it means nothing more than woven shell bracelets left outside your family marui, invitations to races near the eastern reef, polished gifts brought back after hunts, all harmless things from boys who have spent most of their lives trying to impress the prettiest girl in the clan

you are used to it

used to smiles lingering too long

used to attention following you through the village

used to hearing your name carried through gossip circles every time another boy embarrasses himself trying to earn a little more of your affection than the others

and normally, you handle it easily. a smile here, polite conversation there, enough kindness to avoid hurting feelings without ever encouraging too much

simple

except lo’ak does not behave like the others. the others want your attention because everyone else wants it too. lo’ak looks at you like he discovered something instead of won it, which is infinitely more flattering

“you are staring at him again.”

you nearly drop the woven sea shells in your hands as your cousin’s voice breaks through your thoughts, and immediately glare at her while she laughs softly beneath her breath, sitting cross-legged beside you on the outer platform where several girls prepare decorations for the upcoming eclipse gathering

“i was not staring.”

“you absolutely were.”

“i was thinking!”

“about the forest boy.”

you click your tongue in annoyance and continue threading shell beads together while ocean wind moves through the woven bridges around you, carrying the scent of saltwater and distant sea fruit fires from nearby maruis

across the village, several metkayina boys are helping the sully brothers prepare fishing equipment under supervision from older hunters, though “helping” might be generous considering ao’nung appears one irritated comment away from shoving lo’ak directly into the ocean.

lo’ak only laughs every time, of course he does

even from this distance you can see him grinning after another sharp comment from ao’nung, broad shoulders shaking slightly with amusement while he fixes one of the woven nets incorrectly on purpose just to annoy him further

idiot

your cousin notices the way your attention drifts immediately

“you like him!” she whisper-yells

“what?? i tolerate him!”

“you smiled while looking at him.”

“that means nothing?”

“it means enough!” she says with a big smile

before you can answer, movement below catches your attention as several younger children suddenly race through the lower platforms shouting excitedly about ilu races beginning near the eastern reefs, their voices carrying through the village loud enough to pull attention from nearly everyone nearby, including lo’ak. his head lifts instantly toward the sound before his eyes move automatically across the platform searching, and somehow, impossibly, finding you within seconds despite the dozens of people moving between you

no matter who he is talking to beforehand, no matter what he is doing, the moment lo’ak notices you there is always that same subtle shift in his face, like something sharp softens unexpectedly beneath his skin

then he grins. and this time you let out a small smile.

your cousin makes the most dramatic sound imaginable beside you

“oh eywa, save us!”

“be quiet.”

“he looks at you like he has already written songs.”

“nobody writes songs?”

“he would.”

you roll your eyes while smiling because you can’t stop it before standing with the shell baskets balanced against your hip, mostly because continuing this conversation feels dangerous to your sanity

“where are you going?” she asks immediately

“away from you!”

“mmhm” she says knowingly “and definitely not toward the reef where the forest boy is.”

you ignore her completely which would work better if your face was not warm already.

the woven bridges beneath your feet sway gently as you make your way toward the lower docks where clan members gather near the racing reefs, laughter and conversation echoing over the water while ilu glide beneath the surface in flashes of blue and silver.

the village feels alive this time of day, bright, warm, familiar

and somewhere ahead, lo’ak sully is probably about to become your problem again.

you spot him before he spots you this time, a rare victory

he stands near the edge of one of the lower platforms beside neteyam and spider while several metkayina boys explain racing techniques with varying levels of patience, though judging by the amused expression on neteyam’s face, lo’ak has already ignored most of the instructions

predictable, very predictable

you slow slightly near the edge of the platform, listening absently while one of the older hunters demonstrates proper riding posture for sharper reef turns.

lo’ak lasts approximately thirty seconds before attempting the maneuver anyway, badly.

his skimwing jerks sideways beneath him, nearly throwing him directly into the water while several people yell at once

you laugh before you can stop yourself.

his head turns toward the sound immediately, and there it is again. that grin. even soaking wet and halfway to drowning himself, lo’ak somehow still looks unbearably pleased just because you laughed at him

“you did that on purpose” neteyam mutters as lo’ak climbs back onto the platform dripping seawater everywhere

“did it work?”

“unfortunately.”

lo’ak pushes wet braids out of his face before looking toward you again, and suddenly you become very aware of how many girls nearby are watching him now too. interesting…

because yes, boys stare at you constantly, but lo’ak gets attention too. especially here lately

the younger metkayina girls whisper whenever he passes now, drawn toward the same reckless confidence that keeps getting him into trouble around the reefs

you expected that realization to bother you less than it does. unfortunately one of the girls nearby moves closer toward him while smiling shyly, offering a woven shell cord she clearly spent hours making

lo’ak blinks once in surprise before accepting it politely. he smiles, says something kind, and just by him doing that your stomach twists unexpectedly. ridiculous, completely ridiculous. because why should that affect you? boys flirt with you all the time, girls flirt with him now too. normal. except the moment lo’ak glances back toward the docks and notices your expression shift slightly, his attention changes instantly. the girl is still speaking to him, but he barely notices now. his eyes stay entirely on you

then, without hesitation, he hands the shell cord to spider and starts walking toward the dock instead

toward you

your pulse immediately betrays you

“you are terrible at this” you say with a small smile the second he reaches the platform

his brows lift slightly. “at what?”

“racing?”

he grins. “you laughed tho!l

“because you almost died!”

“still laughed.”

you hate how smug he sounds about that, especially because he is right

water drips from the ends of his braids onto the wooden platform beneath your feet while ocean wind moves between you carrying salt and sunlight and something warm beneath it that smells distinctly like him now

“you came to watch?” he asks

“everyone came to watch.”

“yeah” he says softly, eyes holding yours too steadily “but you still came.”

heat crawls slowly into your face, again.

eywa, this boy is going to be the death of you. before you can think of a response, another metkayina hunter approaches carrying fishing spears across one shoulder, smiling immediately when he notices you standing there

“there you are” he says warmly, “i was looking for you earlier.”

you smile automatically. “why?”

“my mother wants to know if you are still joining us tonight.”

“yes, i promised her i would.”

“good” he replies, reaching briefly toward your wrist to adjust one of the shell bracelets there, “she likes having you around.”

the contact is innocent, brief, normal. yet beside you, lo’ak goes completely still

you notice it instantly. the subtle tightening of his jaw, the way his shoulders straighten slightly

jealousy.

and for some terrible reason, seeing it sends warmth blooming low in your stomach instead of discomfort.

the hunter continues speaking for another minute before finally leaving toward the upper platforms again

silence settles afterward

you glance sideways, and lo’ak stares out toward the water now, expression unreadable

“you are jealous.” you say carefully

his eyes flick toward you immediately

“am not.”

liar

you smile slightly “you are.”

he exhales through his nose once before shaking his head, though the corner of his mouth twitches anyway like he knows denying it is useless

“okay” he mutters eventually “maybe a little.”

“why?”

that catches him off guard, you can see it happen

because suddenly lo’ak, reckless impossible lo’ak who always seems to know exactly what to say, hesitates for the first time since meeting you. his gaze drifts briefly toward the ocean before returning slowly to your face

and when he speaks again, his voice is quieter than before

“because they all look at you like they already decided something.”

your breath catches slightly

“decided what?”

his eyes hold yours steadily

“that they want you and their gonna get you”

the words settle heavily between you while waves crash softly against the reef below

because he says it so simply, like it is obvious, like he hates the idea anyway

your pulse stumbles painfully hard

“and you do not?” you ask before thinking better of it

big mistake. because lo’ak’s expression changes instantly. slower now, more focused

then he smiles.

“pretty sure that became obvious the second i saw you dancing.”

part two: chosen by trouble

summary: when the sully family arrives in awa’atlu seeking uturu, the clan watches them with caution, curiosity, and distrust. you try not to pay attention to the forest boy with sharp golden eyes and a reckless smile, especially after catching him staring during the communal feast. unfortunately for you, lo’ak sully has never been very good at looking away. and even more unfortunately, neither have the rest of the boys in the clan.

warnings: jealousy, flirting, slow burn, tension between characters, mild swearing, outsider dynamics, possessive behavior

pairing: lo’ak sully x fem!reader

wc: around 3k

a/n: new series! tell me what you think

the first thing you notice about awa’atlu is that it breathes differently than the forest. even from the ilu platform, with your feet damp from sea spray and the eclipse shadows of ilu gliding beneath the water, the whole village feels alive in a way that’s softer than home ever was, quieter, but somehow heavier too, like every woven bridge and shell-covered marui carries centuries inside it. well, for you awa’atlu has always been your home, but not for a specific guy. the ocean stretches forever around the reef, glowing blue beneath eclipse light, and the air tastes like salt instead of moss and bark. you stand beside your mother near the edge of the gathering platform while the olo’eyktan’s guests arrive.

the sully family, toruk makto’s family. forest people, outsiders, danger. the clan had whispered all afternoon, now they stared openly. you tried not to. really, you did. but it was impossible not to look at them when they finally climbed from the skiff. they looked wrong in the reef at first glance, taller, leaner, their braids decorated with forest beads instead of shells, tails twitching uncertainly against the woven platforms beneath their feet. even their eyes moved differently, sharp and alert like they expected the sea itself to attack them. the father carried himself like a warrior trying very hard not to look like one, the mother looked exhausted, the eldest son stood stiff beside them, jaw locked, the youngest girl clung close to her mother’s side and the eldest daughter was gripping her shawl like its her life line.

and then there was him.

lo’ak sully.

you noticed him because he noticed everything. while the others tried to stay respectful under the overwhelming attention of the metkayina clan, his eyes moved constantly, taking in the woven canopies overhead, the glowing fish below the docks, the children diving through the water nearby

he looked nothing like the stories. you expected toruk makto’s son to appear intimidating. instead, he looked reckless. his braid was messy from travel, his shoulders broad despite his age, and there was a cut healing near his temple that made him look like he’d gotten into a fight recently and probably deserved it.

you looked away before he could catch you staring, except he did catch you staring. because when you glanced back a second later, his eyes were already on you.

yellow, bright, amused. your stomach twisted unexpectedly. you frowned immediately and turned away. not interested. absolutely not.

in the large cluster of the metkayina standing around the sully family, ao’nung muttered something under his breath to his friends, and several boys laughed quietly while watching the sully brothers struggle with being steady on the platform.

you ignored them, mostly because ao’nung and his group laughed at everyone, but also because you could still feel someone looking at you. you did not turn around again.

that night, the communal dinner stretched across nearly the entire central platform of the village. woven mats covered the floor, layered with platters of roasted fish, sea fruits, and steaming shell bowls while music echoed softly through the maruis overhead. children darted between adults, elders spoke in low voices, the ocean breeze carried warmth across your skin.

you sat with your family near the dancers circle, helping arrange glowing shells into the edge of the woven rugs while your younger cousins chased each other nearby.

across the platform, the sully family sat awkwardly among members of the olo’eyktan’s family. you noticed immediately that the forest boy kept glancing everywhere, and his brother elbowed him once when he stared too long at a passing ilu handler.

lo’ak grinned anyway. there was something irritatingly easy about him, like he’d walked into a completely unfamiliar clan and still somehow believed he belonged there without putting in any effort

“he keeps looking over here” your cousin whispered beside you

you nearly rolled your eyes. “everybody is looking over here.”

“no” she said, smirking. “i mean specifically at you.”

“stop.”

but when you looked up again, there he was. already watching. and this time, when your eyes met, he smiled. not politely, not shyly.

confidently. like he’d already decided something.

heat climbed into your face before you could stop it, and you looked away so quickly your cousin laughed under her breath.

great, exactly what you needed. another cocky boy as if there weren’t enough already. because unfortunately (or fortunately) for you, your cousin was right

most of the young hunters in the clan wanted your attention. you knew it, everyone knew it, it had become exhausting months ago.

boys brought you polished shells day after day, they challenged each other during races whenever you watched, one of them had nearly broken his arm trying to impress you diving from a cliff during eclipse tide

your mother found the whole thing hilarious, and you found it deeply annoying.

especially ao’nung’s friends, who acted as though speaking to you once suddenly made them great warriors blessed by eywa herself.

so no, the last thing you needed was another arrogant boy staring at you across dinner.

especially one with a smile like that.

the music changed, drums deepened, conversation softened, and several girls from your age group began moving toward the center of the platform. your cousin grabbed your wrist instantly.

“come!”

you groaned “i already danced during eclipse feast!”

“and?”

“and i do not want to.”

“too bad!”

before you could argue, she was already dragging you toward the center circle while musicians adjusted their rhythm, people shifted to make room, the firelight reflected gold against damp skin and shell jewelry while the first dancers began moving in time with the drums. you closed your eyes briefly, breathing once before letting the rhythm settle into your body.

then you moved.

the first steps came naturally, they always did

your feet slid against the woven floor while your arms curved with the tide rhythm taught since childhood, every movement following the pull of the drums and ocean beneath the platform. the music swelled louder around you, the dancers spun, shells clicked together softly, and somewhere beyond the circle, conversation stopped almost entirely. you knew people were watching, that wasn’t unusual. but halfway through the second rhythm sequence, you felt it again.

that stare.

your eyes opened instinctively, straight toward him. lo’ak sat leaned slightly forward now, elbows on his knees, completely ignoring whatever his brother was saying beside him. he was watching you like he’d forgotten there were other people on the platform. not subtle at all

when your eyes met during a turn, his expression shifted immediately into a grin. confident.

instead of looking embarrassed, he tilted his head slightly like he was impressed

you looked away and focused on the dance.

except it became increasingly difficult when several boys from the clan suddenly started showing off near the edge of the circle the second they realized where the forest boy’s attention had landed. one older hunter moved closer carrying a drum just to catch your eye while another offered you a hand during one of the turning sequences. you accepted politely, because refusing publicly would be rude. but the moment you spun back around, you accidentally caught sight of lo’ak again

his grin had disappeared. interestinggg

his jaw tightened slightly while another boy leaned closer to speak to you between movements.

was he-

was he jealous already?

you nearly laughed mid-step.

you had known this boy for less than a few hours, and he’s already jealous?

the dance ended moments later beneath rising cheers and applause from nearby families.

you stepped back with the others, breathless from movement and heat while musicians slowed their rhythm.

before you could return to your family, one of the young hunters intercepted you.

“you danced beautifully tonight” he said smoothly, offering you a polished shell bracelet.

of course.

you smiled politely. “thank you”

another approached immediately after, then another.

eywa give you strength.

from the corner of your eye, you noticed lo’ak standing now across the platform, watching the interaction unfold with visible disbelief.

you tried not to smile.

tried.

failed.

because a few moments later, after the third boy attempted to start a conversation with you, the sully boy finally moved, completely unconcerned by the increasingly annoyed looks from half the local boys nearby

ao’nung noticed immediately, that alone nearly made this worth it

you pretended not to see lo’ak approaching until he stopped directly in front of you.

up close, he looked even more dangerous somehow.

not because he was threatening (he wasn’t).

because he looked fearless in a stupid, reckless kind of way.

like he’d jump off a cliff first and ask questions later. his eyes flicked briefly toward the shell bracelet still sitting in your hands before returning to your face.

“so” he said casually “is this normal here?”

you blinked once “what is?”

he gestured vaguely toward the boys surrounding the area “this?”

one of the hunters frowned immediately. “what is your problem, forest boy?” he said.

lo’ak didn’t even look at him.

his attention stayed entirely on you.

“none” he answered easily “just trying to talk.”

you crossed your arms slightly “you are talking.”

his grin returned instantly, there it is

“yeah” he said. “but i think your clan doesn’t like sharing.”

you bit back a smile.

bad idea.

very bad idea.

because the second your expression shifted, his entire face lit up like he’d won something.

ao’nung stepped closer then, arms crossed over his chest “she does not want to speak with you.”

finally, lo’ak looked away from you.

the shift was immediate

“she can answer for herself” he said.

silence dropped briefly around the group, you sighed internally

perfect.

exactly what this night needed.

ao’nung took a step forward. “you arrive here a few hours ago and think you understand our people?”

“bro” lo’ak replied, almost laughing “i just answered you”

“ao’nung” you warned quietly.

“maybe go learn how to breathe properly underwater before trying to impress metkayina girls.”

you saw it immediately in lo’ak’s eyes.

challenge.

his grin disappeared slowly while he stepped closer, tail flicking once behind him

“who said i’m trying to impress anybody?”

ao’nung scoffed. “you keep staring at her.”

“can you blame me?”

your breath caught slightly. several nearby boys groaned in annoyance. your cousin nearly choked trying not to laugh behind you. and somehow, somehow, lo’ak still looked completely calm saying it, like flirting in the middle of potential clan conflict was the most natural thing in the world. ao’nung opened his mouth again, but before he could speak, tsireya appeared suddenly beside him.

“enough ao’nung” she hissed quietly

ronal was watching now from across the platform.

that ended the argument immediately

ao’nung muttered something under his breath before backing away reluctantly with his friends.

lo’ak watched them leave before turning back toward you again.

and there it was once more, that easy confidence settling back into place like it had never left.

“so” he said “does every conversation here almost become a fight?”

“mostly when ao’nung is involved.”

“good to know.”

you should leave, probably immediately, instead, you stayed standing there while ocean wind moved through the platform between you

up close, he smelled faintly like rain and forest leaves beneath the saltwater.

“you dance beautifully” he said suddenly.

just as simple as the others had said it, but more honest somehow. you looked at him carefully then, trying to decide whether he meant it or was simply good at charming girls. unfortunately, he held eye contact too steadily for you to tell.

“you barely know me” you replied with, letting out a breathless laugh

“didn’t say i know you”

“then why keep staring?”

his mouth twitched.

“because i wanted you to look back.”

your stomach flipped so violently it irritated you. you narrowed your eyes slightly “that usually works for you?”

“sometimes.”

“confident.”

“should i not be?”

you laughed quietly before you could stop yourself, his expression changed instantly at the sound, surprise flickering across his face like he hadn’t expected success so quickly. then he smiled again. that pretty and untamed smile.

oh, this was bad. very bad. do you have a crush on lo’ak sully? no, never you told yourself. he looked at the world like he planned on challenging it. and eywa help you, you liked that more than you should.

a voice behind him pulled you out of your thoughts, jake sully was calling his sons back toward the family platform. lo’ak glanced over his shoulder briefly before looking back at you.

“guess i gotta go.”

“looks that way” you say with a small smile

he hesitated for half a second, then-

“i’ll see you tomorrow, pretty girl”

not a question.

you felt your face heat up but you quickly looked down before he caught it, or so you thought

“you assume a lot.”

“am i wrong?”

probably not. which was the problem. instead of answering, you stepped backward toward your family, pretending not to notice the way several boys nearby watched the interaction with irritation.

“goodnight, forest boy.”

his grin returned immediately.

“goodnight, gorgeous”

you turned before he could see your face heat again. behind you, your cousin made the loudest dramatic gasp imaginable. you nearly shoved her into the ocean.

later that night, long after the music faded and the communal platform emptied into quiet conversation beneath eclipse light, lo’ak lay awake staring at the woven ceiling of the marui he shared with his brother.

neteyam sighed from his hammock “you are smiling at nothing.”

“am not?”

“you literally are.”

lo’ak rubbed a hand over his face, still grinning anyway. he could still picture you dancing. the way your bracelets caught firelight while you moved. the way you looked at him afterward like you weren’t impressed by him at all. finally, someone interesting. because most people either feared toruk makto’s family or admired them too quickly, you had done neither. you challenged him without trying. and the worst part? apparently every guy in the reef wanted you. exactly what he needed.

neteyam glanced over again. “you are thinking about that pretty metkayina girl.”

lo’ak scoffed. “what metkayina girl?”

“the one you stared at all night.”

“i did not stare.”

“lo’ak.”

“okay, maybe a little.”

his brother groaned quietly. “dad is already stressed enough. do not start problems here.”

“i’m not starting problems?”

neteyam raised a brow.

lo’ak paused.

“…yet.”

another groan. outside the marui, ocean waves crashed softly against the reef beneath starlight. and somewhere across the village, you were probably asleep already, completely unaware that lo’ak sully, reckless, stubborn, impossible lo’ak sully, had already decided he wanted your attention again tomorrow.

and just like the boys in your clan, he was not planning on giving up easily.

summary: after finding ao’nung alone by the reef at sunset, you discover the pressure and doubt hidden beneath his usual confidence. what starts as a quiet conversation turns into long overdue confessions, soft kisses, and stolen moments by the ocean as the two of you finally admit the feelings neither of you could ignore anymore.

warnings: no warnings, fluff, making out

pairing: ao’nung x fem!reader

wc: i think around 1-2k

a/n: this was rushed, so sorry!

the tide was low when you found ao’nung sitting alone at the edge of the reef. the sunset spilled gold over the water, turning his skin copper blue beneath the fading light. his legs dangled off the rocks, tail flicking lazily behind him while tiny waves crashed against the stone below. from a distance he looked calm, almost sleepy, but you knew him too well for that. ao’nung only came out here when something sat heavy in his chest.

you approached quietly, bare feet wet from the shoreline.

“you disappeared after dinner.”

his ear twitched at the sound of your voice but he didn’t turn around immediately.

“maybe i wanted peace”

“mm.” you said and sat beside him.

“didn’t mean to ruin it”

“you always do.”

the insult carried no bite. if anything, his mouth tilted faintly upward. for a moment neither of you spoke. the ocean filled the silence instead, warm wind carrying salt against your skin. nearby, glowing fish darted beneath the water like tiny stars. ao’nung finally exhaled through his nose.

“my father has been on me all week”

“about?”

“everything.”

he picked up a shell and tossed it into the sea.

“training. hunting. leading. he acts like i am already olo’eyktan.”

you glanced sideways at him.

“one day you will be”

“that does not mean i am ready now.”

there it was. beneath all the confidence, all the cocky smiles and sharp comments, ao’nung carried a heavy pressure. expectations wrapped around him like vines, tightening every year.

you leaned your shoulder against his.

“you don’t have to be perfect”

he laughed softly.

“easy for you to say”

“i mean it.”

his eyes shifted toward you then, golden and bright even in the dim light. something in his expression softened.

“you always take my side” he murmured.

“someone has to.”

his gaze dropped briefly to your lips. your stomach tightened.

eywa.

you and ao’nung had danced around this thing between you for months now. lingering touches, teasing smiles, stolen glances during training, everyone saw it, even if neither of you said it aloud. sometimes you thought he would kiss you. sometimes you thought you imagined the whole thing. but right now, with the ocean humming around you and his thigh warm against yours, it felt painfully real. ao’nung shifter closer.

“you know” he said quietly “you are the only person who speaks to me like i am me. you don’t complain about my actions, my ego, nothing”

you smiled faintly, before you added

“well, i do think you show off a bit too much at ilu races.”

he huffed a laugh “i do not show off.”

you raised a brow.

“fine, maybe a little.” he admitted

he nudged you with his shoulder hard enough to make you laugh, and the sound seemed to pull something loose inside him. his tension eased. his smile became genuine.

then his hand settled over yours. your breath caught.

his fingers were warm and rough from spear training, dwarfing your own hand easily. he rubbed his thumb slowly across your knuckles like he was testing whether you would pull away.

you didn’t.

ao’nung stared at your joined hands for a second before speaking again, voice lower now.

“i think about you too much.”

your heart skipped.

“ao’nung…”

“all the time.”

his eyes met yours again, open in a way you rarely saw from him. “during training. while hunting. when i wake up. it is annoying.”

you laughed softly, nervous heat crawling up your neck.

“annoying?”

“yes. because i cannot focus when you are around.”

“sounds difficult.”

“very.”

his thumb brushed your hand once more. then he leaned in. the kiss started soft. tentative. completely unlike him. ao’nung usually moved through life with certainty, all confidence and sharp edges, but now he kissed you carefully, like he was afraid you might disappear if he pressed too hard. your free hand slid against his chest instinctively, feeling the steady beat beneath warm skin. he inhaled sharply at the touch.

“tell me if you want me to stop” he murmured against your mouth.

instead of answering, you kissed him again. that seemed to break whatever restraint he had left. his hand moved to your waist, pulling you closer until you were practically in his lap. the kiss deepened, slow and warm and dizzying. ao’nung tasted like sea salt and fruit from dinner earlier, and every soft sound he made against your lips sent heat rushing through you. his tail curled loosely around your leg. cute. very cute. you smiled into the kiss and he pulled back slightly, brows furrowing.

“why are you smiling?”

“your tail”

his ears flattened instantly.

“do not laugh at me.”

“i’m not laughing!”

you absolutely were. ao’nung groaned and buried his face briefly against your neck

“you are cruel.”

your fingers slipped into his braids gently, nails scratching his scalp. his entire body relaxed against you at once.

oh.

you did it again experimentally, ao’nung made a low sound in his throat that nearly destroyed your remaining thoughts.

“you like that?”

you whispered

his eyes opened slowly.

“do not use that tone with me.”

“what tone?”

“that one.”

you grinned, and before you could tease him further he suddenly flipped your positions, guiding you carefully onto the smooth rock beneath him. you gasped softly. ao’nung hovered over you, one hand beside your head while the other rested at your waist. his hair fell around his face slightly messy now, lips swollen from kissing. pretty. so unfairly pretty.

“you are trouble” he muttered.

“and you like me anyway.”

“unfortunately.”

his mouth found your neck next, kisses warm against sensitive skin. every touch sent shivers through you. he moved slowly, savoring every reaction he pulled from you, and you realized with growing heat that ao’nung loved hearing you lose composure. your fingers tightened against his shoulders when he kissed just below your jaw.

“ao’nung…”

“mm?”

“you are teasing.”

“yes.”

“mean.”

he lifted his head just enough to smirk.

“you started it”

before you could argue, his lips crashed into yours again. the ocean breeze wrapped around both of you, cool against overheated skin. somewhere in the distance you could hear laughter from the village, but it felt impossibly far away now. there was only him. his hands. his mouth. the way he looked at you like you were something precious. ao’nung kissed you until your head spun. slow at first, then deeper whenever you pulled him closer. every tiny sound you made seemed to affect him instantly, his breathing growing uneven each time your fingers traced over his skin. eventually he rested his forehead against yours, both of you breathless.

“you have no idea what you do to me” he said quietly.

your stomach flipped. his expression softened again, thumb brushing gently across your cheek now.

“i mean it” he murmured “i have wanted this for a long time.”

“then why didn’t you say something?”

ao’nung looked almost offended.

“because you are terrifying”

you blinked. “me?”

“yes, you.” he poked your side lightly. “you always look at me like you can see everything i am thinking.”

“maybe i can.”

“that is exactly the problem.”

you laughed softly, and the sound made him smile in return. for a while neither of you moved. you stayed tangled together on the rocks while the sky darkened overhead, waves crashing gently below. ao’nung traced lazy patterns against your waist with his fingertips.

“stay with me tonight” he said eventually.

not demanding, not cocky, just honest. your chest warmed painfully at the softness in his voice.

“yeah, i’ll stay”

his eyes brightened immediately, and suddenly he looked younger somehow, lighter. he kissed your forehead once, then your nose, then your lips again because apparently he couldn’t help himself.

“you are clingy” you teased.

“only with you.”

and somehow that felt more intimate than anything else.

part one: evergreen part two: evergreen part three: evergreen part four: evergreen

summary: lo’ak and reader grew up close, but what happens when you guys move to awa’atlu and he meets someone new?

pairing: neteyam x fem!reader

warnings: no warnings

wc: not sure, i think around 1-2k

a/n: okay this is the last part, i hope you enjoyed!

the morning after he kissed you, you woke up half convinced you imagined it. until you stepped outside the marui and immediately found him sitting with tuk near the shore, helping her untangle shells from a fishing net. his eyes found yours instantly, and then he smiled. he looked very sleepy, like he had been up all night, maybe was thinking about what happened between you two? that thought made your heartbeat stumbled so hard it physically hurt

tuk noticed the second neteyam’s eyes landed on you

“why are you both smiling weird?” she asked suspiciously

you almost choked on air while neteyam coughed into his hand beside her

“we are not” he said far too fast

tuk narrowed her eyes

“you are.”

“eat your fruit, tuk.” he said

you turned around immediately before either of them could see your face properly, and behind you, you heard neteyam laughing quietly to himself

that stupid beautiful laugh, that became your favorite sound embarrassingly fast.

you had spent years loving lo’ak in storms, confusion, uncertainty, aching everything with him always felt intense in the worst possible way. every moment mattered too much because you never knew where you stood. with neteyam, things unfolded gently, naturally. like your heart had finally stopped bracing for impact. he sat beside you whenever possible now, his hand brushed yours constantly, sometimes intentionally, sometimes not. you noticed anyway. and eywa, once neteyam realized you liked touching him back, he became impossible.

his fingers along your wrist while handing you tools. his palm warm against your lower back guiding you through crowded spaces. the absentminded way he played with the ends of your braids while listening to you talk. he touched you like someone making up for years of restraint

you were beginning to understand why kiri looked at both of you like she was witnessing live entertainment

“you’re blushing again” she whispered one afternoon while helping prepare food.

“i hate you.”

“no you don’t.”

“a little.”

kiri grinned while cutting fruit beside you. across the beach, neteyam was speaking with jake and aonung near the ilu’s. as if sensing your attention, he looked over immediately. directly at you. it wasn’t a big deal, i mean, he only looked at you, but he looked at you. and then, the traitor smiled again. kiri made a noise of disgust

“you two are actually painful now”

“be quiet!” you whisper-yelled

“he looks at you like he wants to build you a home and worship the ground you walk on.”

you accidentally let out a snort and kiri burst out laughing. not suspicious at all, right?

lo’ak noticed everything

that part sat like guilt beneath your ribs no matter how hard you tried ignoring it. he never said anything directly after your argument near the herbs, but he watched. watched the way neteyam stood closer to you now, watched the way your face softened around his brother, watched the way you laughed more lately. and worst of all, he watched the way neteyam looked happy, you looked happy too.

one evening after dinner, you were helping neytiri organize dried herbs when lo’ak appeared outside the marui entrance

“can i talk to you?”

neytiri glanced between both of you once before quietly standing

“do not stay up too late” she said gently while leaving

coward, you thought bitterly. lo’ak waited until she disappeared completely before speaking again

“you and neteyam.”

“what about us?”

his jaw flexed slightly

“is it serious?”

the question caught you off guard, because despite everything, lo’ak did not sound angry right now, only tired and a bit sad

you swallowed softly.

“i don’t know yet.”

that was honest. whatever this was between you and neteyam still felt new enough to break apart in your hands if held incorrectly

lo’ak nodded once slowly, eyes dropping toward the floor.

“he really loves you. he always has.”

your throat tightened immediately.

“lo’ak…”

he laughed softly. not happily.

“it’s kinda obvious now.”

“i never wanted to hurt you, and i don’t think neteyam wants that either”

his eyes lifted toward yours again, then quieter:

“i think i kept expecting time to pause for me.”

you frowned slightly. pretty selfish, huh? lo’ak rubbed tiredly at his face

“like… i thought you’d always be there no matter how long it took me to figure myself out.”

the words hurt because they were true, and he knew it now too

“i’m sorry” he whispered.

your eyes burned slightly

“thank you.”

he nodded once, then looked toward the ocean outside before speaking again

“he’s better for you than i was.”

“you’re not a bad person” you said softly.

he let out a breathless laugh before saying

“didn’t say i was.”

before leaving, he hesitated near the doorway.

“just… don’t make the same mistake as me and let him wait forever too, okay?”

and then he walked away before you could answer.

later that night, you found neteyam near the shore alone. he sat on one of the woven docks repairing arrows beneath dim eclipse light, broad shoulders relaxed for once. your chest still did that annoying thing whenever you looked at him.

he glanced up at your footsteps immediately smiling. that stupid smile

you walked toward him slowly before sitting beside him

“hey”

“hey” he said softly.

his eyes searched your face immediately

“something wrong?”

you stared at him for a second. because that was the difference, wasn’t it? neteyam always noticed, lo’ak didn’t

“i talked to lo’ak.”

his hands paused briefly against the arrow shaft. just for a second.

“oh.”

you watched him carefully.

“you okay?”

his mouth twitched faintly.

“shouldn’t i be asking you that?”

probably. still, warmth spread quietly through your chest anyway. you shrugged slightly.

“it was… okay, actually.”

neteyam relaxed a little at that.

“what did he say?”

you looked down at your hands

“that you’re better for me than he was.”

neteyam went very still.

“i wouldn’t say that.”

“why not?”

his gaze dropped toward the arrows in his lap.

“because i know he loves you too, just in… different ways. he could treat you well you know” he says, half expecting you to go back to lo’ak half expecting you to stay.

“maybe,” you admitted quietly. “just differently.”

neteyam looked up then, careful, hesitant

“and me?”

your pulse immediately became deeply inconvenient.

“what about you?”

“how do i love you?”

you stared at him helplessly, because how were you supposed to answer that without your entire heart spilling out through your mouth? neteyam waited patiently beside you. finally, quietly, you whispered:

“like you already chose me.”

something vulnerable cracked open across his face at that. before you could panic properly, his hand found yours slowly. fingers intertwining carefully.

“i did” he admitted softly.

your heart did a flip

“a long time ago.”

you looked at him then, really looked at him. at the sincerity sitting openly in his expression, at the warmth, the certainty. and suddenly you understood why loving him felt so terrifying now. because neteyam could actually break your heart, not from carelessness like lo’ak had. but because losing something this good would ruin you completely. your eyes dropped briefly toward his mouth before lifting again. his voice lowered slightly

“what?”

you shook your head once

“nothing.”

small smile

“liar.”

before you could defend yourself, his free hand moved gently against your jaw, thumb brushing softly beneath your cheekbone. your breathing forgot how to function instantly.

“you keep looking at me like you want something” he murmured

“maybe i do.” you said before you could overthink it

his eyes darkened immediately. very bad for your health

“yeah?” he asked quietly

you nodded slightly. that was all it took. neteyam kissed you softly this time, slow enough to feel every part of it, the warmth of his mouth against yours, his fingers tightening carefully around your hand, the little breath he lost when you leaned closer, everything about kissing him felt unfairly overwhelming. you kissed him back deeper almost without thinking, and neteyam let out a groan against your mouth.

his forehead rested against yours afterward while both of you tried breathing normally again.

“you know” he murmured softly “i used to think about this constantly.”

you laughed breathlessly

“that does not help my nerves at all.”

his quiet laughter brushed warm against your skin

“sorry.”

“you are not sorry.”

“not even a little.”

you smiled before it faded slightly into something more uncertain.

“neteyam?”

“hm?”

you hesitated.

“what if this changes everything?”

his expression softened immediately.

“it already did.”

“does that scare you?”

he looked at you for a long moment before answering honestly.

“a little”

you appreciated that more than fake confidence, his thumb brushed gently across your knuckles.

“but i think some things are worth being scared for.”

your eyes burned unexpectedly, because how did someone love this gently after waiting so long? you leaned forward before thinking too hard and buried your face against his shoulder. neteyam froze briefly, then softened completely. his arms wrapped around you carefully, instinctively pulling you closer against his chest. and there it was again. that feeling. for a while neither of you spoke, waves crashed softly beneath the dock while eclipse light shimmered across the water around you both

then quietly against his shoulder, you whispered:

“i think i’m falling in love with you.”

neteyam stopped breathing. actually stopped. you immediately panicked slightly.

“was that too much-”

“no.”

his voice cracked. you pulled back just enough to look at him and neteyam looked completely undone. eyes soft, overwhelmed in the most beautiful way you had ever seen.

“say it again” he whispered.

your entire face burned.

“absolutely not”

he laughed suddenly and before you could complain further, he kissed you again smiling into it this time, like after all those years of waiting, he finally had something good enough to call his.

part one: evergreen part two: evergreen part three: evergreen part five: evergreen

summary: lo’ak and reader grew up close, but what happens when you guys move to awa’atlu and he meets someone new?

warnings: no warnings, fluff

pairing: neteyam x fem!reader

wc: around 2,5k-3k

a/n: last part, tell me if you want anything more added to this story!

you could not stop thinking about it afterward, because once the truth existed between you and neteyam, even quietly, everything changed. or maybe nothing changed at all. maybe you were only finally seeing what had always been there. either way, it became impossible to ignore him now. you noticed the way his voice softened around you compared to everyone else. the way his eyes found you first in crowded spaces without even trying. the way he instinctively reached toward you whenever you stumbled over rocks or rough currents, steady hands at your waist before you could fall. and eywa, the touching suddenly felt unbearable.

before, you had never thought much about how naturally affectionate neteyam was with you. growing up together had blurred those boundaries long ago. your hands had always found each other casually, comfortably. shoulders brushing. fingers intertwined absentmindedly during stories. naps tangled together after hunts. but now every small thing felt dangerous. because now you understood what it meant to him. and worse, (or better) you were starting to understand what it meant to you too.

“you’re staring again.”

you nearly jumped at kiri’s voice beside you. she snorted immediately

“wow. bad.”

you glared weakly while looking away from where neteyam stood near the water speaking with jake.

“i was not staring.”

“you absolutely were. you still are”

“why are you always around when i’m suffering?”

“because eywa enjoys me.”

you groaned softly, covering your face with both hands while kiri laughed beside you. unfortunately, she was right. you had been staring.

specifically at the way neteyam’s arms flexed while tying down one of the fishing nets, which felt deeply unfair.

“you know…” kiri said casually “this is significantly more painful to watch now that both of you know.”

your eyes widened immediately.

“kiri!”

“what?”

“keep your voice down!”

she grinned horribly.

“oh, so i’m right?”

you hated everyone in this family. kiri bumped her shoulder lightly against yours.

“he’s been impossible lately too.”

that caught your attention despite yourself

“what do you mean?”

“he gets this stupid look on his face every time someone says your name.”

your stomach flipped violently.

“stop.” you said with a smile creeping up on your face

“no, seriously. yesterday mom asked where you were and he answered so fast it was embarrassing.”

you stared at the ground, trying and failing to calm the sudden warmth crawling up your neck. kiri watched you carefully for a moment before her expression softened slightly.

“you like him, i know it”

it was not a question. your chest tightened immediately. because yes. that was becoming terrifyingly obvious now. you just did not know what to do about it.

“i don’t know,” you admitted

kiri made a face.

“that is such a lie”

you laughed weakly.

“okay, fine. maybe i do.”

“maybe?”

“kiri.”

she grinned again before looking toward where neteyam still stood.

“he’s waited forever, you know.”

your throat tightened.

“tsireya said something like that.”

kiri hummed knowingly.

“everyone knew except you apparently.”

you buried your face in your hands again

“this is humiliating.”

“for you, maybe. for me it’s entertaining.”

later that evening, you found yourself alone with neteyam for the first time since your conversation on the walkway. well, alone intentionally. he sat near the edge of the shore repairing one of his hunting knives when you approached, and the moment he looked up and saw you, that soft expression returned immediately. your heartbeat stumbled embarrassingly fast.

“hey” he said

simple word.

“hi” you said with a small smile. you sat beside him carefully, trying very hard not to think about how broad his shoulders looked this close. failing horribly. for a moment neither of you spoke. then neteyam set the knife aside, giving you his full attention. and eywa, that should not affect you this much.

it did.

“you’ve been avoiding me today” he said quietly.

your eyes widened slightly.

“i have not.”

one look from him. you sighed.

“okay. maybe a little.”

his mouth twitched faintly.

“why?”

because every time you looked at him lately, your entire body forgot how to function properly.

instead you muttered “you make me nervous now.”

the words slipped out before you could stop them. neteyam blinked. then stared at you carefully.

“nervous?”

heat crawled violently up your neck, too late to take it back now. you looked stubbornly toward the ocean instead of at him.

“yes.”

there was a pause, then very softly:

“i didn’t mean to.”

that almost made it worse, because of course his first instinct was concern. you laughed weakly under your breath

“i know.”

silence stretched between you briefly before neteyam spoke again.

“is it a bad nervous?”

you finally looked at him then, big mistake, because he was already looking at you with that awful steady warmth in his eyes, and suddenly your chest felt far too tight.

“no, not bad.”

something shifted in his expression at that, small, hopeful. careful enough that it nearly broke your heart. you swallowed softly.

“neteyam…”

his entire attention sharpened instantly at the sound of your voice saying his name like that. you noticed. unfortunately.

“when did it start?”

he knew exactly what you meant. you could tell by the way his face softened immediately. for a moment he looked almost embarrassed, which felt wildly unfair considering neteyam was usually composed about everything.

“i don’t know” he admitted quietly. “a long time ago.”

“how long?”

he smiled faintly to himself.

“you remember when you fell out of that tree trying to impress lo’ak?”

you stared at him. mortification immediately flooding your body.

“oh my god.”

his quiet laugh wrapped warmly around your ribs.

“you landed directly on me!”

“i remember!”

“you cried for twenty minutes because you thought your braid looked ugly afterward.”

you covered your face instantly while he laughed harder.

“stop talking!” you said, even though you were thinking the opposite

“you asked!”

“i regret asking.”

he was still smiling though. softly now. fond.

“so, to be more precise, since we were kids?”

his eyes met yours fully. open now. unguarded in a way they almost never were.

“yeah, i just kept waiting for it to go away.”

your chest physically ached, because you knew exactly what that felt like. except his had lasted years longer than yours. all this time. all while standing beside you loving someone else.

“neteyam…”

“don’t” he said gently.

“don’t what?”

“look guilty.”

you froze slightly. because apparently he noticed everything. well, you knew that, but it was still shocking how observant he is.

his expression softened further.

“you never did anything wrong.”

“i hurt you anyway.”

“that was never your fault.”

your eyes burned suddenly, because how was he still this kind? after years of this?

you looked down at your hands helplessly.

“i don’t understand how you can say that.”

neteyam was quiet for a moment. then carefully, slowly, he reached over and tipped your chin upward until you looked at him again. your breath caught instantly. his hand was warm against your cold skin

you forgot how thinking worked.

“because loving you never felt like something bad” he said softly

your entire chest cracked open. nobody had ever looked at you like this before. not really. not completely. or, you just didn’t notice. lo’ak’s love, whatever parts of it had existed, always felt frantic. uncertain. like something constantly slipping through your fingers no matter how tightly you held on. this felt different. neteyam looked at you like he had already chosen a long time ago, and never changed his mind afterward. it terrified you how badly your heart responded to that

his thumb brushed lightly against your cheek before he seemed to realize what he was doing. immediately, he started pulling away. instinct moved faster than thought. your hand caught his wrist gently. both of you froze. the air suddenly felt painfully thin. neteyam stared at you. you stared back. and somewhere behind the fear and confusion and lingering heartbreak still living inside you, another feeling finally surfaced clearly enough to recognize. want, not comfort, not safety, want. you wanted him closer. the realization hit hard enough to leave you breathless. neteyam’s eyes dropped briefly toward your mouth before lifting again. very bad for your health, actually.

“tell me to stop” he said quietly.

your pulse hammered everywhere, because he would. you knew he would. even now, after all these years, he would step back immediately if you asked him to. that realization made something warm unravel painfully inside your chest. you shook your head slightly. barely a movement. still enough. something in neteyam’s expression broke then. not badly. just… restraint finally slipping. his free hand moved carefully to your waist like he was afraid you might disappear if he touched you too quickly. you could feel his heartbeat, fast.

“are you sure?” he whispered.

you had never been less sure about anything in your life.

and somehow, still-

“yes.”

the word barely left your mouth before he kissed you, and eywa. you immediately understood the difference between being wanted and being cherished. neteyam kissed you like he had spent years imagining it and still could not quite believe it was happening now, careful at first, almost hesitant. then deeper the second you leaned closer with a soft sound against his mouth. his hand tightened instinctively at your waist, you melted instantly, which was honestly humiliating, but also impossible to care about because neteyam was kissing you. neteyam. kissing you. his breath caught slightly when your fingers slid into his braids, and the sound alone nearly ruined you completely. everything about this felt overwhelming. the warmth of his mouth against yours, the way he held you so carefully despite how badly his hands trembled, the quiet little breaths he kept losing every time you kissed him back harder, like he still could not fully believe you were real. you pulled away first only because breathing became necessary. both of you stayed close though. foreheads resting together. his eyes still closed. you could physically feel his heartbeat through his chest

neteyam opened his eyes slowly and immediately looked at you like you had just handed him something sacred. he laughed softly against your mouth. actually laughed. you had never heard that sound from him before, not like this. unguarded. completely full of joy. it wasn’t loud, but it was happy

it made you want to kiss him again immediately just to hear it once more, so you did. and this time neteyam kissed you back like he was done holding himself back

part one: evergreen part two: evergreen part four: evergreen part five: evergreen

summary: lo’ak and reader grew up close, but what happens when you guys move to awa’atlu and he meets someone new?

warnings: angst w a tad of comfort, lo’ak being jealous, love triangle between lo’ak, reader and neteyam, lo’ak being stupid and in his feelings

pairing: reader x fem!reader, neteyam x fem!reader

wc: around 4k words

a/n: sorry if this one is a bit boring, i’m very busy at the time so i write whatever comes to mind

you started noticing neteyam everywhere after that.

which was unfortunate.

because once your mind began looking for him, it became impossible not to.

he was suddenly in every part of your day in ways that felt unfairly overwhelming. standing waist-deep in the water while teaching tuk how to properly throw a spear, laughing quietly when she nearly hit him instead. sitting beside jake during meals, broad shoulders relaxed for once while listening to kiri talk over everyone else. helping mend fishing nets with practiced hands while older villagers praised him for being patient enough to actually listen when taught.

neteyam had always been there, that was the problem. he had always been steady, warm, reliable in the background of your life while your entire heart stayed fixed on someone else. now it felt like finally adjusting your eyes after staring into sunlight too long, and maybe that would have been manageable if he had not started looking at you differently too. or maybe he always had. that possibility made your stomach twist.

because there were moments lately, brief ones, quiet ones, where his attention lingered too long before he looked away. moments where his hand brushed your back gently while passing behind you, and instead of feeling casual, it left heat lingering beneath your skin for hours afterward. you hated how aware of him you were becoming. especially because lo’ak noticed it too.

“you’ve been spending a lot of time with my brother.”

the words came suddenly while you sorted herbs beneath one of the woven shelters near the shore. you looked up to find lo’ak standing there, arms crossed tightly over his chest, defensive already. you swallowed softly before looking back down at the leaves in your lap

“we’re friends.”

“right.”

that tone immediately irritated you. you exhaled slowly through your nose.

“what is that supposed to mean?”

“nothing.”

“lo’ak.”

“i said nothing?”

you finally looked up fully then, frustration flickering through your chest when you saw the expression on his face. upset, jealous. you laughed breathlessly from disbelief alone.

“you do not get to act like this, not now.” you said

his jaw tightened instantly

“act like what?”

“like you suddenly care who i spend time with.”

“i do care.”

the answer came too fast, too sharp. your chest hurt anyway. because that had always been the problem, hadn’t it? he cared, just never enough. you stood slowly, brushing leaves from your hands.

“you have tsireya.”

something complicated crossed his face immediately, guilt, frustration, confusion.

“it’s not about that.”

“then what is it about?”

he opened his mouth, closed it again. and despite everything, despite how many times this exact silence had hurt you before, part of you still waited. waited for him to finally say the thing you had wanted for years. instead he dragged a hand through his braids roughly and looked away.

“i don’t know.”

you stared at him for a long moment before nodding once.

“exactly.”

you tried stepping around him, but his hand caught your arm lightly. not enough to trap you. just enough to stop you.

“don’t do that.”

your entire body went tense immediately.

“do what?”

“talk to me like i’m some stranger now.”

hurt flickered across his face before he could hide it

“you used to tell me everything.”

your throat tightened painfully

“yeah” you whispered. “and look where that got me.”

the words visibly landed. you watched guilt spread across his expression again, heavy and familiar and exhausting. for once, though, you did not feel satisfaction from it. just tiredness. because guilt never changed anything. you pulled your arm free gently.

“i can’t keep doing this with you, lo’ak.”

his eyes snapped back toward yours

“doing what?”

“waiting for you to figure out whether i matter.”

he looked almost angry then, not at you. at himself maybe? which somehow made it worse.

“you do matter.”

“but not enough.”

silence. again. eywa, you were beginning to hate silence. you stepped back before he could stop you this time.

“that’s what i thought.”

neteyam found you later sitting alone near the edge of the reefs with your feet dangling into the water. he noticed immediately that your eyes looked glassy. his chest tightened. without saying anything, he sat beside you quietly. you appreciated that about him. he never pushed immediately. for a while neither of you spoke. waves rolled gently against the rocks beneath you both while eclipse painted the ocean gold. eventually neteyam spoke softly.

“lo’ak talked to you, right?”

not a question, you laughed once under your breath.

“is it that obvious?”

“only because you look like you want to bite someone.”

that actually made you smile a little. neteyam felt warmth bloom embarrassingly fast inside his chest at the sight of it.

“sorry” you murmured.

“for what?”

“being miserable all the time lately.”

his expression softened instantly.

“hey.”

you looked over at him.

“you never have to apologize for hurting.”

the sincerity in his voice nearly undid you on the spot, because he meant it. your eyes burned suddenly, and you looked away quickly toward the water before he could notice. except of course he noticed, neteyam always noticed.

“what did he say?” he asked gently.

you hesitated, then sighed quietly

“he asked why i’ve been spending time with you.”

neteyam went still beside you, you glanced toward him briefly. his jaw had tightened slightly.

“and?”

you shrugged weakly.

“and then we argued in circles until i left.”

“sounds familiar.”

you huffed a soft laugh despite yourself, then your expression faded again.

“i don’t understand him.”

neteyam stared out toward the horizon for a moment before speaking carefully.

“i think lo’ak’s spent so long assuming you would always be there that he never stopped to think about what it would feel like if you weren’t.”

your chest twisted painfully, because that sounded horribly accurate

“that’s not fair”

“i know.”

you looked down at your hands.

“the worst part is that i still…” your voice faltered slightly. “a part of me still hopes every time he looks at me like that.”

neteyam’s heart cracked quietly inside his ribcage. still, his voice remained calm.

“that doesn’t make you weak.”

“feels like it does”

“it doesn’t.”

you looked over at him then, and eywa, there was something dangerous about the way neteyam looked at people when they were hurting. like your pain physically mattered to him, like he would carry pieces of it himself if he could. it made your chest ache in an entirely different way than lo’ak ever had. softer. steadier. because with lo’ak, love had always felt like reaching. with neteyam, it felt frighteningly like being held. you looked away first

your heartbeat had become deeply inconvenient lately.

things with tsireya and lo’ak got worse after that, not loudly, that almost would have been easier. instead they became strained in small, painful ways that everyone around them slowly began noticing. the easy affection between them started disappearing. conversations cut shorter than before. smiles that looked practiced instead of natural. tsireya still cared about him deeply, that part was obvious, but there was sadness in her now too. understanding. like she had finally realized she was trying to hold onto someone whose heart kept drifting elsewhere no matter how hard he fought it. you avoided getting involved entirely. mostly because the guilt ate at you every time you looked at her. she had done nothing wrong. none of this was her fault. which was why it startled you so badly when she approached you herself one afternoon while you helped repair woven baskets near the marui.

“can we talk?” she asked gently

your stomach dropped instantly. still, you nodded. tsireya sat beside you quietly, smoothing her hands over her knees for a moment before speaking.

“you love him very much.”

you stared at her. she offered you a sad little smile.

“i am not angry with you.”

that somehow made it worse. your throat tightened immediately.

“tsireya-”

“i think he loves you too.”

you physically froze.

no.

no, absolutely not.

because if that were true, then what had all this pain been for?

“he cares about me” you corrected weakly.

tsireya shook her head softly.

“no.”

your pulse hammered unevenly. she looked down at her hands.

“i used to think maybe if i was patient enough, eventually he would look at me the way he looks at you.”

your eyes stung instantly.

“please don’t say that.”

“it is true”

you felt horrible suddenly. completely horrible.

“i never wanted to hurt you.”

tsireya’s expression softened gently.

“i know.”

and she did. that was the awful part. she reached over carefully, covering your hand with hers.

“none of this is your fault”

you almost laughed bitterly. it certainly felt like your fault. tsireya looked toward the ocean for a moment before speaking again.

“do you know what finally made me understand?”

you nodded your head slowly

“when he got hurt during the storm.”

your chest tightened immediately at the memory

“he hugged me first” she said quietly. “but afterward… he spent the rest of the night searching the crowd for you.”

your breath caught

“no he didn’t-”

“he did not even realize he was doing it.”

something sharp and aching moved through your chest. because part of you wanted to hear that more than anything. another part wanted to cry from exhaustion.

“i think he is just scared” she admitted softly.

“of what?”

she looked at you carefully then.

“of loving someone enough to lose them.”

your eyes burned, because maybe that was true. lo’ak loved recklessly in every part of his life except this one. except you. and maybe by the time he finally understood what he felt, too much damage had already been done. tsireya squeezed your hand gently before standing.

“for what it is worth” she said softly, “i think someone else has been loving you much longer.”

your heartbeat nearly stopped. before you could even form words, she walked away. leaving you sitting there stunned and horribly aware of who she meant.

that night you could not sleep. every thought circled back toward neteyam until your entire chest felt restless and overheated. you thought about the way he listened when you spoke. the way he always made room for your feelings instead of treating them like inconveniences. the way his eyes softened whenever he looked at you lately. and worst of all, you thought about all the years before now. all the moments that suddenly looked different in hindsight. neteyam teaching you how to braid stronger bowstrings because you kept snapping yours. neteyam carrying you home after your first hunting injury because your ankle hurt too badly to walk. neteyam quietly sitting beside you after your parents died while everyone else tried too hard to say comforting things. he had always been there. steady as breathing, and somehow you had never fully seen it before. the realization made guilt curl painfully in your stomach. because while you spent years aching for lo’ak, someone else had been quietly aching for you too. you wondered if that hurt him as much as this hurt you, which it probably did, maybe even worse

the thought made your chest physically ache. you climbed carefully out onto one of the walkways outside the marui, hoping the night air might settle your thoughts.

instead, you found neteyam already there. of course you did. he leaned against one of the woven supports overlooking the dark ocean below, moonlight silver against his skin. he turned at the sound of your footsteps, and immediately his expression softened when he saw you. there it was again, that terrifying warmth.

“couldn’t sleep?” he asked quietly.

you shook your head.

“you?”

a small huff of laughter left him.

“not really.”

you moved beside him slowly, resting your arms against the railing while waves crashed softly far below. for a while neither of you spoke, the silence felt different with him. not heavy, not painful, just quiet. safe. then softly, before you could lose courage, you asked:

“have you really loved someone that long?”

neteyam went completely still beside you. slowly, he turned his head toward you. moonlight caught across his face, illuminating something vulnerable there that almost made your chest stop working.

“yeah.” he answered quietly.

your heartbeat became uneven immediately.

“why?”

his eyes held yours for a long moment. so long that your pulse started climbing into your throat. then he smiled slightly. small. sad.

“because she was worth waiting for.”

your breath caught completely. the entire world suddenly felt too small for your heartbeat. neteyam looked away first, like he regretted saying it aloud. like after years of silence, honesty itself felt dangerous now. you stared at him, really stared at him. and suddenly every single thing made sense in the most overwhelming way possible. all those years. eywa. all those years.

part one: evergreen part three: evergreen part four: evergreen part five: evergreen

summary: lo’ak and reader grew up close, but what happens when you guys move to awa’atlu and he meets someone new?

warnings: angst w a tad of comfort, lo’ak being jealous, love triangle between reader, neteyam and lo’ak, lo’ak being a idiot

pairing: lo’ak x fem!reader, neteyam x fem!reader

wc: i think like around 4k words

a/n: this was originally a one shot but i got a request for a part two so i decided to turn it into series, idk if this was a bit too angsty, ive been so busy with dance competitions that i just write whatever comes to mind!

the first time neteyam noticed something had changed between you and lo’ak, it was quiet. he didn’t immediately make a move, he watched.

watched if he was just paranoid, and that you were still miserably in love with him.

he noticed it during dinner when lo’ak was talking about something aonung had done earlier that day, everyone laughing while tuk was cackling, and you smiled when expected, nodded at the right moments, but your eyes never once drifted toward lo’ak anymore. they used to constantly.

without even realizing it, you always looked for him first. whenever someone spoke, whenever something funny happened, whenever you walked into a room. your attention had always circled back to him like instinct.

now it didn’t.

neteyam noticed because he had spent years noticing you, even when he tried not to. he noticed the way your laughter sounded thinner now, like you were performing it instead of feeling it. he noticed how you sat closer to kiri instead of lo’ak lately, how your hands stayed busy weaving cords and fixing beads instead of reaching absentmindedly toward lo’ak.

he noticed lo’ak noticing it too. that part almost made him angry, because lo’ak looked confused. confused. as if he had not slowly pulled away from you for months while expecting you to remain exactly where he left you. neteyam kept his face neutral and ate quietly while his brother kept glancing toward you every few minutes. you barely looked back once. and somewhere deep inside himself, hidden beneath years of loyalty and guilt and silence, something ugly and selfish loosened. because neteyam had loved you for longer than he even understood what love was, before lo’ak ever did, before you ever looked at his brother like he hung the stars, before any of this.

he remembered one of the many, many times being children and watching you run through the forest after lo’ak while he chased some animal he definitely should not have been chasing. you had tripped over a root, scraping your knee open badly enough to cry, and before neteyam could even move, lo’ak had already run off after whatever stupid thing distracted him. you had sat there sniffling while neteyam cleaned dirt from your skin with shaking hands because he had been little too.

“does it hurt?” he had asked quietly.

you nodded miserably.

so he pressed one tiny hand over the scrape afterward like somehow he could protect you from pain simply by touching it.

you smiled at him through tears anyway.

that smile ruined him permanently.

he was young enough then that nobody noticed how carefully he watched you.

how quickly he learned your moods.

how every time you entered a room his body recognized it before his mind did.

then years passed.

and you loved lo’ak.

everyone knew it except lo’ak himself.

or maybe he knew and simply never understood the weight of being loved like that.

neteyam used to hate himself for the jealousy.

because lo’ak was his brother.

his brother who had spent years feeling second place to him in almost everything.

his brother who struggled while neteyam succeeded effortlessly.

his brother who always seemed desperate to prove himself while neteyam accidentally became everything expected of a perfect son.

so neteyam buried it.

every awful selfish feeling.

every moment his chest tightened when you laughed too hard at something lo’ak said.

every moment he caught himself imagining impossible things.

he buried all of it because that was what good brothers did.

and because you looked happy.

that should have been enough.

except now you didn’t anymore.

and neteyam hated how much hope that gave him.

“you’re staring.”

neteyam blinked, dragged away from thought as kiri dropped down beside him on the rocks overlooking the water.

“i am not.”

“you absolutely are”

she followed his line of sight toward where you stood with some metkayina women sorting herbs into woven baskets. you looked peaceful from far away. but kiri saw people too easily.

“she’s not like… usual.” kiri said quietly.

neteyam’s jaw tightened.

“i know.”

kiri leaned back on her hands.

“and lo’ak’s an idiot.”

he huffed a laugh despite himself.

“you said it. not me.”

“oh, please. even mom sees it now.”

neteyam looked over

“sees what?”

kiri gave him a look

“everything.”

unfortunately, that sounded exactly like neytiri.

kiri tilted her head slightly.

“you know what’s funny?”

he immediately distrusted that tone.

“what.”

“you look at her the exact same way dad looks at mom.”

neteyam nearly choked

“what?”

“relax” kiri snorted “i’m not judging you.”

his heartbeat became deeply inconvenient.

“i do not look at her any type of way.”

“sure”

“kiri.”

“neteyam.”

he groaned softly while she laughed, then her expression softened a little.

“you know… she notices you too.”

that made him still.

“what.”

“not like how she does with lo’ak.” kiri clarified. “but she notices.”

he looked back toward you automatically.

you were laughing softly at something one of the women beside you said, sunlight catching against the beads woven into your braids. beautiful. always beautiful. it physically exhausted him sometimes.

“doesn’t matter.” he said eventually

kiri watched him carefully.

“because of lo’ak?”

“because she loves him.”

kiri was quiet for a moment.

then “maybe she’s getting tired of it?”

neteyam hated how badly he wanted that to be true.

it happened during eclipse.

most of the village had gathered near the shore, music carrying through the air while children ran wild between bonfires and people. you sat near the outer edge of awa’atlu, knees pulled loosely to your chest while weaving something delicate between your fingers.

alone. well, not alone.

aonung sat nearby talking to you occasionally, and every time he made you laugh, lo’ak’s expression darkened a little more across the beach. neteyam noticed that too. everyone probably did, because lo’ak had become strange lately. restless. possessive in ways he had no right to be. he still spent nearly every day with tsireya, but lately whenever someone else got too close to you, his mood shifted immediately. like he expected you to stay untouched while he figured himself out.

neteyam was beginning to lose patience with him. he found himself drifting toward you before fully deciding to. you looked up when his shadow crossed over you, and smiled. a real smile this time. small, but real. it hit him embarrassingly hard.

“hi” you said softly

“hi” he said

real smooth neteyam, real smooth.

aonung looked between you both once before smirking slightly and standing.

“i’m getting food. do not fall in love while i am gone.”

you nearly inhaled your own tongue.

neteyam stared at him flatly while aonung walked off laughing.

“ignore him.” you said, trying to play it cool but your face was saying otherwise.

“i’m trying” he replied with a breathless laugh.

there was a moment of silence before neteyam lowered himself beside you, close enough that your shoulder brushed his.

“what are you making?” he asked and nodded his head once towards your project.

you held up the half-finished bracelet

“a bracelet for tuk! she asked for one with shells.”

“she’ll love it.”

“hopefully”

your fingers continued moving carefully through the thread and the bead. neteyam watched your hands move for some second before speaking again.

“you seem happier tonight”

you stilled, then shrugged.

“trying to be.”

his chest ached, you always answered honestly when people bothered asking properly. most people simply did not. you guys talked for a bit, then a wave of quietness followed. not a awkward one, just full

then your voice came softly.

“can i ask you something?”

“always.”

you smiled faintly at that before speaking.

“have you ever loved someone for so long that you forgot how to stop?” you said unknowingly

neteyam forgot how breathing worked. his entire body went still. because yes. yes. every. day. he looked at you carefully. you were still focused on the bracelet, not seeing the war currently happening inside him.

“yeah,” he said eventually, voice rougher than intended.

your fingers paused.

“what did you do?”

he almost laughed at the cruelty of eywa sometimes.

what did he do?

he loved quietly. patiently. hopelessly.

he stood beside you while you loved someone else. he accepted whatever scraps of closeness he could have and thanked the universe for them. he watched you ache over another person while pretending it did not kill him too.

instead he simply said “i waited.”

your expression softened sadly.

“did it work?”

neteyam looked at you for a very long time. then he smiled. small. tired.

“i guess i’m still waiting.”

something shifted in your face then, something he could not fully read. before either of you could say anything else, voices rose louder near the water.

lo’ak.

arguing with tsireya.

not screaming.

but sharp enough that nearby conversations had started quieting. you turned automatically toward the sound. so did neteyam. lo’ak stood tense, frustration written all over him while tsireya had her arms crossed loosely under her chest.

“i said i’m sorry” lo’ak snapped.

“you keep saying that,” tsireya said back softly like the girl she was.

“but you do not mean it if nothing changes.”

neteyam watched your face carefully. the hurt there surprised him, not jealousy, something sadder. because even now, part of you still cared whether lo’ak was happy. tsireya noticed you nearby first. her expression shifted immediately. understanding flashing across her face so quickly it almost hurt to witness. because unlike lo’ak, tsireya was observant. she saw everything. and suddenly neteyam wondered how long she had known. lo’ak followed her gaze, saw you sitting beside neteyam, and froze.

the look on his face was immediate.

raw.

jealous.

it shocked all of you equally, judging by how quickly his expression changed after realizing it had shown.

too late.

you stared at him.

confused, hurt. hopeful in the worst way. neteyam felt something cold settle inside his stomach. because suddenly lo’ak looked exactly like someone realizing too late that he was losing something. tsireya saw it too, that part was obvious

her face went very still.

she looked at lo’ak for a long moment before quietly saying “oh.”

lo’ak looked away first, coward. tsireya nodded once to herself. small. sad. then she walked away. neteyam felt something deep in his chest, understanding. the art of accepting that you’re loving someone who loves someone else. lo’ak made no move to follow her. instead his eyes stayed fixed on you. and neteyam finally understood. lo’ak did care about tsireya. probably genuinely, but not enough. just like he did with you. because if he had loved her fully, he would not be looking at you like the ground had disappeared beneath him.

you stood abruptly.

“i should go help kiri.”

neteyam knew that excuse was nonsense. still, he nodded immediately.

“okay.”

you avoided looking at lo’ak entirely while leaving. lo’ak watched you go with an expression neteyam had never seen on his brother before.

panic.

later that night, lo’ak found him alone near the water. neteyam knew he would.

“you like her.”

straight to the throat, apparently. neteyam looked up slowly from where he sat sharpening a knife.

“that’s your opening line?”

“answer me.”

there was something frantic beneath lo’ak’s anger. something unstable. neteyam suddenly felt exhausted.

“does it matter?” he said annoyed and breathless

“yes.”

“why?”

lo’ak’s mouth got stuck in his throat. because there it was again. that question. why.

why did it matter now?

why now, after months of neglecting you while expecting you to remain his anyway?

lo’ak’s jaw tightened.

“because she likes you.”

neteyam stared at him for a long moment. then shook his head once.

“no.” he said quietly. “she doesn’t.”

“you don’t know that.”

except he did. he knew every look you gave him. every touch. every smile. you loved him deeply, yes, but not like that. not yet. maybe not ever.

“she loves you” neteyam said finally.

lo’ak looked away, guilt immediately flooding his expression again. neteyam was starting to hate that look.

“i know.”

“do you?”

that made lo’ak snap his gaze back toward him.

“what’s that supposed to mean?”

neteyam stood slowly. taller. calmer. dangerous in a completely different way than lo’ak ever was.

“it means she spent months waiting for you while you ran after someone else. you take it for granted.”

lo’ak’s face hardened immediately.

“i wasn’t-”

“you were.”

silence. waves crashed softly nearby.

“she looked at you like you were everything.” neteyam continued quietly “and you treated her like she would wait forever.”

“i never asked her to.”

“you didn’t have to!” he snapped

lo’ak flinched

good.

neteyam almost hated himself for thinking that too.

“i care about her” lo’ak muttered.

“that is not enough”

“you think i don’t know that?”

anger cracked through his voice now. real anger. real confusion.

“then what do you want me to say, neteyam? i tried with tsireya. i really tried.” he says, his voice cracking mid sentence

neteyam stared at his brother carefully

“but?”

lo’ak’s face twisted with frustration

“but every time something happened, every time i got hurt or scared or happy or anything, she was the person i wanted first.”

neteyam’s chest tightened painfully. because he understood that feeling too well. lo’ak laughed bitterly, rubbing both hands down his face.

“and now she barely even looks at me anymore.”

“because you hurt her! you treat her like shit! you hold her back!”

“i know!”

the words exploded out of him.

then quieter, broken almost “i know.”

for a long moment neither spoke.

finally neteyam said softly “tsireya deserves better too.”

lo’ak looked physically ill at that. because he knew. eywa, he knew.

“i didn’t mean for this to happen”

“that does not change it.”

lo’ak looked out toward the dark water.

“do you love her?”

neteyam closed his eyes briefly, there was no point lying anymore.

“yes.”

his brother nodded slowly like the answer hurt. maybe it did. yeah, it did.

“since when?”

neteyam almost laughed. since forever. since childhood. since scraped knees and tangled braids and watching you fall asleep against him during storms.

instead he simply said, “a long time.”

lo’ak looked back at him then. really looked at him. and for the first time, understanding fully settled between them. all those years. all those moments. neteyam had loved you silently through all of it. his brother swallowed hard.

“why didn’t you say anything?”

because you loved him. because neteyam loved his brother too. because sometimes loving someone meant stepping aside even when it destroyed you.

“it didn’t matter” he answered quietly.

lo’ak’s eyes dropped toward the ground. and for the first time in his life, neteyam thought his brother might finally understand what it felt like to lose something before realizing how much it mattered.

you cried that night, quietly, face buried into your arms so nobody would hear. because seeing lo’ak look jealous should have made you happy. instead it only made everything worse, because now you knew. he did care, just not enough. if he loved you fully, there would never have been a tsireya in the first place. you were tired of everything, tired of half-love, tired of hoping. and somewhere in the middle of all that grief, another realization sat gently beside it.

neteyam had waited with you. not literally, but somehow emotionally. he understood things nobody else did, he noticed when you went quiet, he listened carefully when you spoke, he looked at you like your words mattered before you even finished saying them. and worst of all, being around him felt easy in a way that terrified you. because you could breathe around neteyam. you never had to chase his attention. you never had to wonder whether he saw you. he always did. that should not have mattered so much. but it did. and somewhere deep inside yourself, something small and wounded began turning toward warmth after being cold for far too long. even if you were still too afraid to call it hope.

part one: till death do us apart

summary: the sully’s moves away from the forest to awa’atlu, but what happens when neteyam, the eldest falls in love at first sight?

warnings: major character death, war violence, angst, bittersweet

pairing: neteyam x fem!reader

wc: around 1-2k

a/n: sorry guys, i’m obsessed w angst

one moment, everything was fine.

the next, it was chaos.

a messenger came fast from the outer reefs, breath uneven, words breaking over each other as he tried to speak quickly enough to outrun what he had seen.

demon ships. moving closer, armed, searching, and the name that turned the air cold

quaritch.

neteyam felt it immediately.

not shock, not confusion, something heavier

recognition.

like hearing a storm you had already survived once and knowing it had come back for you. his father went still. neytiri’s posture sharpened. tonowari stepped forward, listening, already calculating. and around them, the village began to change. voices rose, people moved, fear spread quickly, but so did something else

readiness.

the metkayina were not a people who ran from their home, they stood. they defended. and neteyam, neteyam felt the weight settle onto his shoulders before anyone even said what came next.

he turned instinctively. you were already there, close. closer than anyone else. your eyes met his immediately, and in that one look, everything that had been soft between you only minutes ago shifted into something sharper.

real.

dangerous.

“stay behind the line,” he said, voice low but firm.

you did not nod, you did not agree, you simply looked at him

“no.”

he frowned slightly.

“this is not the time-”

“exactly”

your voice did not rise, it did not need to

“this is exactly the time”

he shook his head

“you stay where it is safe”

you stepped closer, close enough that he could see the determination in your expression clearly now.

“there is no safe”

that hit harder than he wanted it to, because you were right. you both knew it. but knowing did not mean accepting.

“i am not losing you because you decided to stand in front of something meant for me” he said.

“and i am not losing you because you decided i needed to be protected from my own life”

for a second, neither of you moved. the noise of the village rising around you, people preparing, weapons being gathered, the ocean no longer quiet

and neteyam stood there, caught between instinct and something else he did not have a name for yet

fear, not for himself.

for you.

“stay.” he said again.

this time softer. you held his gaze. and for a moment, something in your expression shifted. not agreement, something gentler.

“i will be careful.”

it was not what he asked. he knew that. you knew that. but it was the closest thing you were going to give him

he exhaled slowly

not satisfied, not convinced, but out of time

“stay near kiri and tuktirey” he said instead.

you nodded this time.

“i will”

it was not a lie, just not the full truth

and somewhere deep down, a part of him knew that too

the sky darkened as the demon ships appeared. metal cutting across the horizon like something unnatural forced into a place it did not belong. the first shots came quickly. too quickly. and just like that, awa’atlu became something else entirely. the water churned under impact. the air filled with sound that did not belong in a place like this

war.

neteyam moved with the others. with his father, with lo’ak, with every instinct he had ever learned.

protect. fight. survive.

he did not look back

not at first.

because he trusted you, because he believed you would stay where he told you to, because he needed to believe that.

but you,

you did not stay.

not because you were reckless. not because you did not understand the danger. because you understood it too well. because you knew him. because you had seen the way he carried everything alone. and you refused to let that happen now. you waited just long enough, just until the first wave of movement pulled attention away. then you slipped from where you had been. quiet, careful, determined. you followed the fight. followed the sound. followed him.

it was not easy, the reef was chaos now. water crashing in every direction, shouts overlapping, the sky people tearing through the place like it meant nothing.

but you moved through it. because every step brought you closer to him, and that was enough. you found him sooner than you expected in the middle of it. of course he was. neteyam stood where the fighting was thickest, moving with precision, every motion controlled even in chaos. he had always been like that

even now, especially now.

for a moment, you just watched him. because there was something about seeing him like this, fully himself. focused. protecting. that made something in your chest tighten, but now was not the time to get all lovey dovey.

then he turned, and saw you.

everything stopped.

not the battle. not the noise. just him.

his eyes widened.

shock, then frustration.

then something else.

something closer to fear.

he moved toward you immediately, closing the distance in seconds

“what are you doing!?” he whisper-shouted, his voice was sharp.

you did not step back.

“being where i am supposed to be.”

“this is not where you are supposed to be!”

“it is where you are?!”

that stopped him for half a second, just long enough.

“you still should not be here!”

“neither should you!”

“that is not the same!”

“it is to me!”

he shook his head, like he could shake sense into the situation, into you, into himself

“you need to go back, now.”

“no.”

“this is not-”

“neteyam.”

your voice softened just enough to reach him.

“i am not leaving you”

the words settled between you heavy and final. he stared at you, searching for hesitation, finding none. of course. you had already decided, and neteyam knew how stubborn you are. and suddenly, arguing felt useless. dangerous. a waste of seconds he did not have. he exhaled once, sharp. defeated in a way he did not like.

“then stay close.”

you nodded

“always”

and that was it, no more time, no more space, just movement again. this time together. you fell into step beside him easily like you had always been there, like this was how it was supposed to be. he noticed everything. the way you moved, the way you adjusted, the way you stayed just close enough without getting in his way. you were not a distraction. you were not something he had to protect constantly. you were with him. and for a moment, in the middle of everything, something like pride flickered through him

then the world shifted again.

a blast hit the water nearby, sending both of you stumbling. neteyam grabbed your arm instantly. pulling you back toward him.

“careful”

“i am fine”

“stay closer”

“i am right here”

he nodded once, then you were moving again. time broke apart into pieces. moments strung together by instinct.

lo’ak shouting somewhere, jake’s voice cutting through everything, the sky people relentless.

and through it all, neteyam stayed aware of one thing.

you.

always you.

then came the moment everything changed. another blast. this one different. deeper. it came from one of the ships, a violent rupture that sent debris and fire outward into the water. for a split second, everything slowed. neteyam saw it, the direction, the distance. too close. he panicked, his usual calm and collected self breaking. his hand tightened around yours.

“move!”

but there was nowhere to move to. the shockwave hit you before you could react. it slammed into both of you with brutal force, throwing you backward together. the impact stole the air from your lungs instantly. the world tilted. spun. then everything went strangely quiet, not silent, never silent. just distant. like the sound had been pushed far away. neteyam felt the water around him first. then your hand. still in his. that grounded him, he turned immediately, you were right there.

“hey! you alright?” he asked as soon as he fully regained his consciousness

his voice came out rough.

you blinked slowly, your eyes finding his.

“i am here, don’t worry” you said, it came out raspy

he pulled you closer, holding onto you like that alone could keep you both anchored. but something was wrong. he could feel it. in the way your grip was weaker,

in the way your breathing did not sound right.

“look at me”

you did.

always.

“i am right here”

“i know” your voice was softer now.

even though you try to fight it, ur ears starts ringing and your eyes blur. neteyam notices like always. he shook his head.

“no no you stay with me”

you tried to smile.

just a little.

“i am”

but it was fading. he could feel it slipping. panic broke through everything else.

“do not do that.”

your hand lifted slowly to his face. he leaned into it immediately. like he needed it.

“neteyam”

“i am here”

“listen,”

“no.”

“just listen.”

he went still.

because he always listened to you.

even now.

“i am fine, don’t worry about me, go back to the ship and finish everyth-” you got cut off by your own cough, your chest hurting

his throat tightened. he knew something was wrong now.

“please eywa, don’t do this to me” he pleaded.

he pulled you closer. desperate now.

“we are going to be fine” you added, a white lie.

he did not argue.

you just looked at him. he looked at you with tears in his eyes. soft, knowing. that hurt more than anything.

your hand slid down to his wrist, you felt the bracelet there. your bracelet that you gave him.

you smiled.

small.

“you kept it”

“of course i did” his voice broke.

your grip weakened. he felt it instantly.

“no no no no no…” he repeated

he tightened his hold.

“stay with me.”

“i am trying”

but it was getting harder. everything was getting harder. his breathing suddenly hitched. because now he felt it too. pain. deep. spreading.

he had not noticed before, but it was there. from the blast. from the impact. his body was failing him too

he let out a quiet, breathless laugh.

“of course this happens.”

you looked at him.

really looked.

and something in your expression softened even more. more tears welled up in your eyes, not because of the pain, because of his pain.

“together.”

he nodded immediately.

“together.”

he rested his forehead against yours. just like before. just like when everything had been calm. his fingers intertwined with yours again. holding on. always holding on.

“i see you” it came out quiet, honest, final.

your eyes softened.

“i see you.” you smiled.

and it was the same smile from before. the one from the shore. the one that had undone him the first time he saw you.

his breath caught.

because somehow, even now, that felt like everything. your hand slipped slightly. he held on tighter. but it didn’t really make a difference from before, because now he was suffering too.

“till death do us apart” u said weakly.

“till death do us apart.” he repeated, his voice rough

your forehead stayed against his. your fingers still in his. the ocean moving quietly around you. the battle fading into something distant. unimportant. because none of that mattered now.

just this.

just you, just him. together. his grip loosened as he lost strength. your breathing slowed. his followed. and for one final moment, there was no war. no fear. no distance. just two heartbeats finding each other.

and then-

stillness.

and the ocean carried the silence where they had been.

part two: till death do us apart part two

summary: the sully’s moves away from the forest to awa’atlu, but what happens when neteyam, the eldest falls in love at first sight?

warnings: no warnings

pairing: neteyam x fem!reader

wc: around 3k

a/n: part two is coming next week, sorry for leaving you on a cliffhanger!

when neteyam first saw you, he forgot how to breathe.

it happened on the shore of awa’atlu, with the sun hanging high over the water and the whole metkayina clan watching as his family stood there like strangers being measured.

everything already felt wrong.

the ocean was too wide, too open, too loud in its own quiet way. there were no trees reaching above him, no thick roots beneath his feet, no familiar sounds of the forest wrapping around him like home. the air tasted like salt and something unfamiliar, and every wave that rolled toward the shore reminded him that he did not belong here.

he stood beside his father and mother, shoulders straight, trying to look like he belonged anyway

he was good at that

looking steady

looking calm

looking like the oldest son who always knew what to do

inside, though, everything felt off balance.

they had left home behind.

they had left safety behind.

and no matter how much he told himself this was temporary, some part of him knew life had already changed too much to ever return to what it was before.

then he saw you.

you stood a little behind ronal, carrying a woven basket at your side, listening to tsireya speak. the light caught on the shells woven through your braids, and for a moment it looked like the sea itself had decided to keep pieces of the shore in your hair

you were smiling, not for him, just smiling.

small and soft and easy, like it belonged there.

you looked like you had always belonged there.

like the water knew your name.

and when you looked up and your eyes met his, neteyam felt something in his chest stop completely

it was ridiculous.

he knew that immediately.

he did not know you

you were a stranger standing in a place he had only just arrived in

and still, in that one second, it felt like the world shifted.

lo’ak noticed, because of course he did.

lo’ak had a gift for sensing exactly when neteyam’s life was becoming difficult.

he leaned closer, keeping his voice low enough that only neteyam could hear.

“oh no”

neteyam kept staring.

“be quiet”

“you look like you just saw eywa herself”

“lo’ak”

“you are in love already”

“i hate you”

“that was fast”

“stop talking”

lo’ak grinned like the terrible younger brother he was and leaned back, looking far too pleased with himself.

it did not help that a second later, you smiled at him.

just for a moment.

small enough that maybe no one else would notice.

but neteyam noticed.

of course he did.

and suddenly the whole ocean felt like a personal attack.

his father spoke to tonowari, his mother stood sharp and silent beside him.

tsireya smiled kindly

ao’nung looked like he had already decided lo’ak was going to become his least favorite person alive

and you stayed quiet, watching.

every so often, your eyes found his again.

never long.

just enough.

just enough to make him forget every useful thought he had ever had.

that night, lying awake in a woven shelter that did not feel like his, neteyam stared at the ceiling and replayed the whole thing

your face.

your smile.

the way sunlight looked against your skin.

the way you had looked at him like he was not some strange forest boy standing awkwardly on your shore

it was stupid.

completely stupid.

for all he knew, you thought he looked ridiculous.

which, to be fair, he probably did.

for all he knew, you were probably already promised to some metkayina warrior who could breathe underwater forever and ride an ilu like it was part of him.

someone graceful.

someone who did not look like he was fighting for his life every time a wave touched him.

and still, there you were.

in his head.

uninvited.

permanent.

“you are sighing”

lo’ak’s voice came from nearby.

neteyam turned his head and found his brother stretched out like he had not a single problem in the world.

“go to sleep”

“you are thinking about ocean girl”

“i am not calling her that”

“shell girl then”

“worse”

“pretty shell girl”

“sleep”

lo’ak laughed softly.

“you are doomed”

“thank you. very helpful”

for once, lo’ak’s voice softened a little.

“she was looking at you too”

that was somehow worse.

neteyam stared back at the ceiling.

dangerous information

very dangerous.

“sleep” he repeated.

“hopeless” lo’ak muttered.

the next morning was worse, because now you were real.

not just some perfect memory his brain had spent all night making worse

real.

standing by the shore with tsireya and tuk, helping tuk hold some tiny shell creature she had absolutely no business touching

tuk was talking loudly with the full confidence of someone who believed the world existed for her entertainment

you were laughing

tsireya looked patient in the way older sisters had to be

it was peaceful.

and neteyam, carrying training gear and trying not to look directly at you, walked straight into a wooden post.

hard.

spider laughed so loudly people turned around

lo’ak had to actually sit down in the sand because he was laughing too hard

even kiri looked disappointed.

“really?”

neteyam rubbed his face.

“i do not need this from any of you”

“you definitely do” spider said.

lo’ak pointed at you like a traitor.

“it is because of her”

kiri followed his hand, spotted you, and made the worst possible face.

the knowing one.

“ohhh” she said

neteyam hated that ohhh.

“do not start”

“you have terrible timing”

“i know”

“and excellent taste!”

“please stop helping”

“never”

training itself was humiliating enough without your existence making it worse

everything about the water felt unnatural

the metkayina moved like they had been born from the sea itself, every motion smooth and certain.

neteyam had spent his whole life in the forest.

solid ground.

branches.

roots.

things that stayed where they were supposed to stay.

the ocean did not care about any of that, it moved when it wanted, and it expected you to move with it.

he hated feeling clumsy.

especially when you were nearby.

especially when ao’nung looked like he was one bad mood away from throwing lo’ak into the reef

“you are too stiff,” tsireya told kiri kindly.

“your breathing is wrong,” ao’nung told lo’ak with the energy of someone offended by his existence.

and then your voice came from beside him.

“you think too much”

neteyam turned.

you sat there with your hands in your lap, looking at him like this was the most obvious thing in the world.

close.

far too close.

his brain immediately stopped working

“what?”

you smiled a little.

“in the water, you think too much”

“i do not”

you smiled even more at that.

he regretted speaking.

you stepped forward and gently took the training spear from his hand.

“watch”

and then you moved

simple.

easy.

like the water welcomed you

every step was smooth, every motion calm, like the sea itself had decided you belonged and would make room for you.

neteyam stared

fully.

obviously.

hopelessly.

you turned back

“see?”

he did not see.

“right.” he said

you laughed

soft and warm and absolutely ruining his life.

“you were not watching”

“i was”

“no”

“a little”

“you were staring”

behind him, lo’ak made a sound that was definitely laughter and definitely a threat.

neteyam considered murder.

you looked far too amused

“come” you said, handing the spear back.

your fingers brushed his.

brief

light

disastrous

he nearly dropped it

perfect.

after that, things only got worse.

because now you talked to him

small things

correcting his stance

showing him where the calmer currents were near the reef

asking if forest people really slept that high in the trees because that sounded like a challenge from gravity itself

normal things.

except nothing felt normal when you looked at him like that

open.

curious.

like you wanted to know him

like he was interesting.

by sunset, neteyam had reached the deeply unfortunate conclusion that he liked hearing his name in your voice far too much

he was doomed.

completely.

that evening, while helping repair fishing nets, he made the mistake of sitting beside kiri

which meant there was no peace.

“so…”

“no.”

“you are smiling”

“i am fixing a net”

“you are smiling at the net”

“it is a very nice net”

“sure”

he sighed.

“please let me suffer quietly”

kiri smiled without looking up.

“does she know?”

“there is nothing to know.”

“mhm…”

“kiri.”

“neteyam.”

he glared.

she looked delighted.

“you should talk to her!”

“i do talk to her”

“no. you panic politely in her direction. that is different”

“that feels unnecessarily accurate”

“i know”

he groaned.

because she was right, of course she was right

you made this place feel less sharp

less like exile.

less like surviving.

more like maybe, eventually, breathing again

you made him laugh when he felt like the opposite

you made the ocean feel less impossible

you made him want

and wanting was dangerous

because wanting meant hope

and hope could hurt.

still, the next few days passed and somehow he kept ending up near you

or maybe you kept ending up near him?

he tried not to think too hard about that.

you were there during ilu training, laughing when he almost slipped trying to climb on properly, there when tuk proudly announced she had adopted at least three sea creatures and neteyam was apparently responsible now, there when kiri dragged everyone to watch the glowing reef at night.

always somewhere nearby.

easy

natural

like it had happened slowly instead of all at once.

one day he found himself sitting down by the water, feet halfway into the water

the sun was lower now, turning the water gold.

he had been thinking.

mostly about home.

about the forest.

about how strange it was to miss something so much it felt like part of your body had been left behind.

you sat beside him without asking

which somehow made it easier.

for a while, neither of you spoke.

then you said quietly,

“you miss it, right?”

he nodded.

“yes”

your eyes stayed on the horizon.

“i would too”

something in his chest eased

because kindness was one thing

understanding was another.

you were quiet for a moment before speaking again.

“when i was younger, i thought the reef was the whole world. i could not imagine anything beyond it”

you smiled faintly.

“then travelers came from other clans. forest people, mountain people, air people, they all carried home differently”

you looked at him then.

“i think loving your home means carrying it with you. even when you have to leave”

neteyam swallowed.

because somehow, without trying, you had reached straight into the center of it.

“do you always say things like that?”

“only when i want to sound wise”

“is it working?” u added after a few seconds

“a little”

he smiled

real this time.

you smiled back.

and for a second, everything felt still

quiet.

warm.

then tuk’s voice exploded from somewhere behind you.

“there you are!”

the moment shattered instantly

tuk came running toward you both carrying something small, alive and slimy

“look what i found!”

neteyam stood immediately.

“absolutely not.”

tuk proudly held up a tiny wet creature that looked personally offended by life

“we are keeping him”

“we are not”

“we are”

you nodded seriously

“i think you are”

betrayal.

“why are you helping?”

“because he is cute!”

tuk beamed

“see! she understands”

“both of you are impossible” neteyam said with a sigh

from farther away, lo’ak shouted:

“name it after neteyam!”

“do not name it after me.”

too late.

tuk gasped

“perfect!”

your laughter followed him all the way back

that night, neteyam realized something terrible

he was happy.

here.

in awa’atlu.

not all the time.

not enough to erase everything.

but enough.

and you were part of that

maybe too much of it.

which was exactly why he kept trying not to say anything.

because this, whatever this was, felt fragile.

and neteyam had spent too much of his life learning how quickly fragile things broke.

but eywa, you made it difficult.

one day the festival comes

music drifted through the village, warm and bright. children ran between fires and the people, food was everywhere, people laughed, and for the first time since arriving, the heaviness lifted.

everyone seemed lighter

even his father smiled

even lo’ak had temporarily stopped being a disaster

which meant the universe was clearly preparing something.

he should have known

he was helping carry supplies when kiri appeared beside him with the expression of someone about to ruin his life.

“you should ask her to walk with you!”

he kept walking.

“no.”

“coward”

“correct.”

“still should”

“absolutely not”

before he could escape, kiri physically turned him by the shoulders

and there you were.

standing near the water, moonlight caught in your braids

beautiful in the kind of way that made words feel useless.

kiri smiled like a villain.

“go”

“i would rather fight a thanator”

“dramatic”

“realistic”

and then she shoved him.

actually shoved him.

neteyam stumbled forward with all the grace of a dying fish.

you turned

saw him

smiled

finished.

he was finished.

“hi” you said.

he had one chance to sound normal.

“hi”

terrible

awful.

he should leave society.

you looked like you were trying not to laugh.

“did kiri threaten you?”

“maybe”

“that sounds right”

the silence that followed was not awkward

just full.

the ocean moved slowly behind you. the music carried softly from the village.

you looked out at the water.

“do you hate it here?”

the question caught him off guard.

“what?”

“awa’atlu” you shrugged slightly.

“you smile more now than when you arrived. but sometimes you still look like you are waiting to leave”

honesty felt easier with you

dangerously easy.

“i do not hate it”

he looked at the sea.

“i think i was afraid that liking it would feel like betraying home”

you were quiet for a moment.

then you stepped closer.

“it does not”

he looked at you.

your voice softened.

“you can miss one place and still love another”

his chest tightened.

because suddenly the space between you felt smaller

because suddenly he was very aware of how close your hand was to his

close

not touching.

close enough

he swallowed.

“something or should i say someone here make that difficult” he mumbled

“make what difficult?” you said

he turned his face towards yours

there it was.

the edge

the place where he could still step back

where he could laugh and pretend and keep things safe

instead, neteyam looked at you standing there in the moonlight and decided maybe drowning was fine.

“not liking this place too much”

your expression shifted

small

still

careful.

“because of the ocean?”

he shook his head.

“because of you”

silence

the kind where the whole world seemed to stop breathing with him.

he felt every second.

perfect, he thought.

excellent. i will now walk into the sea and never return.

but then-

you smiled.

small at first, then real.

warm enough to ruin him completely.

“that,” you said softly “took much longer than i expected”

he blinked.

“what?”

you stepped closer

“i was starting to think forest boys were all hopeless”

his brain stopped functioning.

“you-“

“yes” you said with a slight laugh

“for how long?”

your smile grew

“since you walked into that post”

he closed his eyes

“that is the worst possible answer.”

“i thought it was charming”

“it was deeply humiliating”

“still charming”

he laughed at that

quiet and helpless and a little disbelieving

because somehow, impossibly, this was happening.

you liked him.

you.

liked him.

the ocean did not feel so impossible anymore

you tilted your head

“are you going to keep staring at me, or are you finally going to do something about it”

he smiled before he could stop himself.

“you sound like kiri”

“that should concern you”

“deeply”

he reached for your hand

slowly.

giving you time to pull away.

you did not.

your fingers slipped into his like they had always belonged there

simple

easy.

your smile softened.

“better”

“much”

he should have kissed you.

he knew that.

the moment was there, bright and obvious.

but before he could move, before he could say anything else, a shout came from farther down the beach.

loud.

urgent.

wrong.

all at once, the warmth cracked.

people were turning.

the music from the festival faltered.

and neteyam saw his father moving fast toward the shore, his expression sharper than it had been all night.

lo’ak was right behind him.

and whatever had just happened, whatever news had arrived, it was enough to make the whole village feel suddenly still.

you did not let go, your hand just tightened in his even more.

neteyam looked at you.

then toward his family.

and in that one terrible second, he knew.

whatever came next was going to change everything.

part two: evergreen part three: evergreen part four: evergreen part five: evergreen

summary: lo’ak and reader grew up close, but what happens when you guys move to awa’atlu and he meets someone new?

warnings: angst with no comfort, reader being replaced, no happy ending, brief mentions of a cut/blood

paring: lo’ak x fem!reader

wc: not sureee

a/n: this is my first fanfic, so tips are appreciated! i listened to evergreen on repeat while writing this

lo’ak’s mom, neytiri and ur own mom have always been close. so when neytiri found out she was pregnant at the same time as her good friend, no one doubted you two would be friends.

you two got into trouble together, bathed together, took naps together, so when lo’ak started acting cold towards you, it was a shock for everyone. especially you

years later when the sky people came back for war, ur parents passed away. the sully’s let you live with them and your friendship with lo’ak sparked even more. yes, you were close with neteyam, kiri, spider and tuk too, but since you and lo’ak are about the same age, you preferred hanging out with him

fast forward to some months ago, you had to move away to awa’atlu to seek uturu with the sully’s

it was harsh on you all, but especially you and lo’ak

it didn’t help that you had aonung as teacher, while lo’ak had tsireya. tsireya was patient with lo’ak and the rest of you, but aonung on the other hand was quite the opposite

lo’ak slowly made progress, while you were just stuck, getting more frustrated by each passing day. and the cherry on top was that lo’ak, the boy you’ve loved since forever, was slowly but surely replacing u with tsireya. well, it’s not a shock, she’s all nice, gentle, loving and caring, while your just, there.

lo’ak keeps “forgetting” plans he had with you, just for you to find him hanging out with her, tsireya

you tell yourself “he probably got caught up in something” or “maybe he asked for a longer lesson?” but you know that’s not the real reason behind it.

so after he’s cancelled for, what the fifth or sixth time? it starts settling in. you start to avoid him, not entirely but enough so he knows he’s done something, and one day you find yourself sitting against a tree, hugging your knees not realising he’s walking towards you.

“hey” he says, dropping down beside you. “where have you been? i barley see you around anymore” he says softly

“i’ve been busy” u say, a bit too fast

“with what?” he says after some moments of quietness

“weaving, preparing food, learning how to heal with these new herbs and pastes.”

“i don’t see you at training either, have u given up?” he jokes, nudging ur shoulder. but you just let out a silent laugh, looking out towards the beautiful sea of awa’atlu.

“no, i just changed my schedule due to my other training”

“other training?”

“yeah, my healers training? i’ve talked about it quite a lot lately” you say a bit sharply, you both know he’s been with tsireya or just not payed attention when you were with him, but u still said it.

after some moments of quietness, he turns his face towards yours, and points out the elephant in the room “your mad at me.”

you let out a silent laugh. “you say that like it surprises you.” you say, still looking out towards the water

“a little.”

“i waited for you yesterday. not just yesterday, all the other times too.”

his expression shifted immediately. guilt flashed across his face.

“right,” he said. “yeah.”

“yeah.”

he rubbed the back of his neck.

“i got distracted.”

you turned to look at him then, and there he was. messy hair still damp from the rain that fell down from the sky earlier, that stupid mouth you had kissed in your imagination more times than you would ever admit, those eyes that always looked like they knew more than they said.

it would’ve been way easier if he was ugly.

“by tsireya.” you said, quieter than you expected

he looked away.

and somehow, that silence was worse than if he had just said yes.

because if there had been some explanation, some reason, maybe you could have kept pretending. but silence meant truth.

“it wasn’t like that,” he finally said.

you laughed, but there was no humor in it.

“then tell me what it was like.”

he opened his mouth.

closed it.

looked back at the ocean instead of at you.

and there it was again.

that awful silence.

you had started to think silence was his real answer to everything.

because if he had something comforting to say, something honest and good, surely he would say it. surely he would not sit there looking guilty while you sat beside him trying not to feel pathetic.

your throat tightened.

“do you know what the worst part is?” you said

after some seconds of quiet, he asks “what?”

his voice was quieter now.

“i keep making excuses for you before you even ask for them.”

you looked down at your lap, fidgeting with your song chord.

“i tell myself you’re busy. i tell myself you didn’t mean to leave me waiting. i tell myself i’m being dramatic, that maybe i’m expecting too much, that maybe love is supposed to feel like this. maybe loving someone means being patient. maybe if i just keep being patient long enough, one day you’ll wake up and realize i was worth choosing.”

the words sat heavy between you.

when you finally looked at him, his face had gone still.

not angry.

not defensive.

just guilty.

again.

always guilty.

never what you actually wanted.

“don’t,” you said softly.

he frowned. “don’t what?”

“look at me like that.”

“like what?”

“like i’m something sad.”

his jaw tightened.

“that’s not fair.”

you nodded once.

“no. it really isn’t.”

for a moment, neither of you spoke.

the wind moved between you, cool against your skin.

you could feel your heart beating too fast, because once you said it, once you let yourself be honest, there was no going back to pretending everything was fine.

and a part of you still wanted to.

a part of you still wanted him to interrupt you. to tell you you were wrong. to tell you he loved you and had just been too stupid to say it.

instead, he just sat there.

so you kept going.

“i think i’ve spent a long time loving you in ways you never asked for.”

“don’t say that.”

“why not? it’s true.”

“because you’re making it sound like i used you.”

“you didn’t,” you said quickly, because that part mattered. “you didn’t. you were never cruel, lo’ak. that’s the problem.”

your voice cracked despite yourself.

“if you had been cruel, i would have left. if you had told me clearly that i meant nothing, i would have hated you and moved on. but instead, you were kind. and close. and just careful enough to keep me hoping.”

“i care about you.” his voice came out rough

and there it was.

the sentence that had kept you trapped for months.

because yes, he cared.

you knew that.

you had built entire dreams around that fact.

but caring and choosing were not the same thing.

you looked at him for a long moment.

“i know you do.”

“then why are we talking like this?”

your eyes stung.

“because i think i come second to everyone.”

he stood so suddenly it startled you.

“that’s not true.”

you stood too, because sitting there suddenly felt like being too exposed.

“isn’t it?”

“no.”

“then why does it always feel like i’m waiting for you to look back at me while you’re already running toward someone else?”

his frustration flashed.

“because not everything is about choosing between people.”

“isn’t it?”

“no.”

“then why,” you asked, your voice breaking despite how hard you tried to hold it steady, “do i always feel like i’m losing to tsireya?”

that made him freeze.

and immediately, you hated yourself for saying it.

because it was not tsireya’s fault.

she was kind. she was good. she had never done anything except exist beautifully and effortlessly in a way that made everything harder.

this was not about jealousy.

it was about being tired of standing next to someone and feeling invisible.

he looked at you like he wanted to fix it and did not know how.

that somehow hurt most of all.

because if he had an answer, he would have said it.

instead, there was only silence.

again.

you nodded slowly, because there it was.

the truth.

plain and ugly.

“that’s what i thought.”

you turned to leave, because staying any longer felt like begging.

his hand caught your wrist before you got far.

gentle.

careful.

if he held on harder, you might’ve just stayed.

“don’t do that,” he said quietly.

you looked down at his hand around your wrist, then back at him.

“do what?”

your voice came out softer than you meant it to.

“walk away like that.”

“why?”

he froze.

because that was the question, wasn’t it.

if he had said stay, if he had said because i love you, if he had said because i cannot stand the thought of losing you, maybe you would have stayed.

you would have stayed for almost anything.

instead, he said nothing.

slowly, you pulled your wrist free.

“that’s why.”

and then you walked away.

for the next few weeks, you became very good at pretending.

you smiled when people expected it. you helped with chores, joined conversations, laughed at jokes, and acted like there was not a constant ache sitting quietly beneath your ribs.

you avoided lo’ak with the kind of determination usually reserved for survival.

if he came toward you, suddenly you were needed somewhere else.

it was childish, maybe.

but if you let him close again, you were afraid you would do what you always did.

forgive too quickly.

accept too little.

take scraps and call it love because they came from hands you adored.

you refused to do that to yourself again.

except the truth was, even while you were avoiding him, some stupid hopeful part of you kept waiting for things to go back to normal.

you kept thinking maybe he would show up one night and finally say the right thing.

maybe he would decide.

maybe he would miss you enough.

maybe this distance would make him realize what you had been to him.

it was embarrassing how badly you wanted that.

how badly you still wanted him.

you hated that love did not disappear just because you finally admitted it was hurting you.

a hunting group had been gone longer than expected, and by the time word spread that rough waters had delayed them, half the village was already waiting by the shore.

you told yourself you were only there because everyone else was.

that was a lie.

when they finally returned, the beach erupted into movement. voices, rushing feet, healers moving quickly, families searching faces.

you found him immediately.

of course you did.

a cut along his shoulder. blood drying against his skin. tired, but standing.

before you could stop yourself, you were already moving toward him.

and for one stupid, hopeful second, he looked up and saw you.

your eyes met.

everything in you reached for him.

and then tsireya got there first.

she threw her arms around him without hesitation, relief written all over her face, and he held her back just as quickly.

tight.

instinctive.

easy.

like there had never been another choice.

you stopped walking.

it was such a small thing.

such a normal thing.

there was nothing wrong with it.

but in that moment, everything became painfully clear.

because love lived in instinct.

in who you reached for first.

in whose name your body knew before your mind did.

and it had never been you.

he looked over her shoulder and saw you standing there.

his expression changed immediately.

guilt.

again,

not relief.

not longing.

not surprise.

just guilt.

like he already knew exactly what that moment looked like from where you stood.

you looked down to the ground, nodded to yourself, and you stepped back.

then turned and walked away before anyone could stop you.

this time, you did not wait for him to follow.