Home Wife

What a strange day and sleepless night. I am tired from thinking about possibilities and pondering realities. I really had convinced myself about grad school, I made such a good case. I really sold it. It made sense and it was exciting and fun to have a challenge. But today I faced the music and looked at the true costs and even with a good scholarship (that has in no way been promised) I…

When I started menstruation my mom celebrated with me, she laughed and hugged me and said I was a woman now. She was just starting menopause. With her menopause came a huge life change. She felt like she could be a woman again, and not just a mother. Our nuclear family blew up like it had been hit by a bomb. Mom and I were close, I was a child with an easy temperament. She clung to me for support…

My mom’s dying is so gradual that I feel like I am watching a tree return to the earth. She hardly moves now, and Parkinson’s is stealing her voice and her expressions, just as she feared. But if I sit beside her and look into her eyes I know what she is thinking.  Her eyes tell me all there is to know, in a place beyond words. Her hand might reach out to something I cannot see, and sometimes her…

This summer I took on a job that gave me no end of joy: running the Summer Reading Club at my local library. I created programs and crafted and played and read with children all the day long. I was surprised by the high numbers of participants in our program over the summer. I have lived near this village for twenty five years, and I have run programs at this library while bringing up my…

A scene is coming back to my mind unbidden. A couple I watched when I was walking by the Citadel in Halifax during a warm season. I was chatting with my youngest and enjoying a summer walk. I saw an older woman getting up from the grass while her husband watched. The grass was on a rise and she struggled to her knees. It was not a graceful moment and she worked hard to get off her bum, on to her…

I have a whole new slew of slang that has risen up out of an unknown source. You might hear me sigh and say, ‘Lord, lord, Mother lord’ during a moment of chaos. Sometimes I just say ‘Mother’ and that is enough. This is my new go-to swear word that I use when I am feeling tested. For example, if I am frustrated with myself for gently but thoroughly emptying my cold tea into my purse as I try to…

A poem from my old life I got strung out Like laundry whipped and tangled By a strong wind I got wrung out twisted and worn Like clothes in an old washer I was wiped out By a stinking kitchen cloth Smelling like mold I wanted to mellow out Like butter on a counter I needed to rest Like a roast right out of the oven I sat and steeped, like a good cup of tea My pen dunking into fresh…

A poem from my old life I got strung out Like laundry whipped and tangled By a strong wind I got wrung out twisted and worn Like clothes in an old washer I was wiped out By a stinking kitchen cloth Smelling like mold I wanted to mellow out Like butter on a counter I needed to rest Like a roast right out of the oven I sat and steeped, like a good cup of tea My pen dunking into fresh…