No regrets, just lesson learned @helloeljey - Tumblr Blog

Alam mo kung anong hirap sayo? Yung mga bagay na sinasabi mo sakin na ayusin ko, na sinasabi mong hindi ko alam na fundamentals ng isang relasyon? Ginagawa mo sakin. Sabi mo simple lang yun, oo simple nga ano? Pero bakit di mo magawa pero pag ako yung may kulang grabe ka kung manita kung magsalita. Alam mo nag aadjust naman ako sayo, pinipilit at pinilit kong magbago para sayo, kasi gusto ko magtagal tayo. Pero ikaw napaka taas ng pride mo. Pag may problema ako na lang palagi mag gigive way. Pano naman naging give and take to? Minsan pakiramdam ko sunud sunuran na lang ako. Gusto mo ikaw na lang palagi. Bullshit ka! Pag nagsasabi ako ng part ko, ano naririnig ko sayo? 'Okkkkkk' sana hindi na lang ako nagsabi. Pag may problema, pag sumagot ako, sakin din ang bagsak. Ibabalik mo rin sakin. Ayaw mong natatalo ka. Gusto mong ipamukha palagi na ako yung may mali. At palalabasin na parang wala lang yun. Nakakapikon. Nakakapanliit. Nakakawasted. Ang hard mo. Kaya ko ba to? :( Ginusto ko to e. <\3

#sentiments

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Hindi naman ako kumpiyansa sa sarili ko. Madalas ramdam ko na hindi ako maganda. Hindi ako maayos manamit. Hindi ako magaling makipagusap. Madalas kong nararamdaman na hindi ako ok para sa iba. Hindi ako ayos sa pagkilos. Pakiramdam ko ang liit liit ko. Bakit ganun? Pakiramdam ko napakarami pang kulang sakin. Kulang para iwanan ng kahit sinong taong nakapaligid sakin, lalo ng mga taong mahalaga sakin. Natatakot ako para sa sarili ko. Ang hirap hirap magpilit na maging isang tao para sa tao. Oo alam ko na hindi ko kailangan na magpilit o ipagpilitan, pero bakit ganito? Eto nararamdaman ko. Dati hindi naman ganito, hindi ako ganito, hindi na ata ako to. :(

#sentiments

Droga.

Forgiving also means forgetting, right? Yeah, right. Pero bakit meron parin akong takot na baka panandalian na namn to? Nakaka trauma yung papalapit na naman yung panahon na inlove na inlove ako, na sayang saya ako, na feeling ko nasa heaven ako tapos bigla akong naiwan. Shit! Bakit ganun? What kind of feeling is this mamen. May mga what ifs na tumatakbo sa isip ko. What ifs na hindi na dapat. What ifs na nakakatakot. What ifs na posible, makatotohanan. Asdfghjjkkuggvjkslsldhsysh peace of mind please. What should i do. San ko dapat ibaling ang sarili. Ano dapat ko basahin. Sinong dapat ko kausapin. Saan dapat ako magpunta. Paano mapapayapa isip ko..

I miss you summer.

DAR

Nakakapikon. Kailangan detailed? Kailangan lahat lahat? Kailangan? Kailangan? Kailangan?

So bullshit. Asdgghhklll!!!!!!!!!!#*#*+$+$+$+$*$-$$+8$*#4@$$@*$/$/ Aaaaaarrrrrgggghhhhhhhhhh!!!!!

Calm me down.

#joke lang #relax #kangaroo

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Paboritong laruan.. Andeng. :)

#loves #happiness

Listening without judgment. Accepting without doubts. Loving without something in return.

#Sisters #Endless #irreplaceable

Loves.

#2nd meeting with the Reyes'

Lam m mas mhal n mhal n tlga kita. Kc dati pag naiinis ako ang tagal bgo mwala. Pero ngaun hnd na. Kc mas iniisip ko n kung ano nrrmdaman mo. Lam mo yun ayoko mging mlungkot ka or sumama loob mo.

The Reyes'

Saturday night, he told me that i have to be ready for tomorrow. I ask him why, i want you to meet my parents, my family, he said. And I felt butterfly in my stomach are all playing and flying as if it's their last fly. I was so nervous and really do not know what to do. Mixed emotions i felt. Im happy that he want me to be officialy known by his family as his girl but I was frightened by the thoughts of being judged by them. What if they don't like me, what if i'm not the one they are expecting to meet, what if they criticize me, etc. I was into those feelings because that was my first time. Until the time came. Moment of truth. I was trying so hard then to hide what I really feel. Promise, I was soooo nervous from head to foot. When I came out from the car, I just can't remove my smile on my face. They greeted me with smiles on their faces too. I met his mother, father, siblings, his brothers' fiance, his tita and tito and his cousin. We ate lunch together and hanged up the whole afternoon. I was still nervous then, but it slowly filled up with joy in my heart hearing them laughing, cracking jokes and talking random things. But still adjusting with the new people around, It was like I swallowed my tongue and can't speak. Haha It wasn't really me. Until now, I just can't believe it happened. The experience was awesome and still looking forward to be at ease with them.. Soon! Hopefully! :)

#meetthefamily #first time

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Leggo?

G: Let's finish 2014? B:Wala tau tatapusin ok? Let's make this forever ever and ever?? G: Ok signed this January 1,2014. Panotary natin.

#dream #makeithappen

2013.

*I left KFC and switch to Firefly. From a so-so daily routine i was landed on a super extra fast paced working environment. Wherein i have to grasp on to everything that is happening. From workloads to officemates to nature of job, to system and to the bosses. Feom the start i told myself that, recruiting is what i really want. Because i can interact with diff kind of personalities and i found it not boring. Yes. I am a recruiter for roughly 10months. I'm loving it until, we met new bosses and even consultants, that definitely affect our daily routine as a recruiter. It was stressful though helped me to be better (i guess) *From GVE to GVV He was my previous boss, on my 9months stay he was our buddy boss, we can open up everything to him even our personal lives. Haha i found it funny that i'm closer to him when it comes to chikas and yeah regarding lovelife. He was definitely a father material. When it comes to work, we working on our own, not even bother to updatr things because i felt that he's not so hands on maybe because he 'trust' us enough, nevertheless we really need his help. Haha! And then there was a major change happened. Management decided to put us under her. She is the most strict yet beautiful boss in FF. Everything as in everytjng changes. She was soooo focus on everything we do, she always wants updates on the hirings and on the vacancies we have, she was so hands on, she was sooo strict on the deadlines, she always wants the result asap, she was very ugh! In short, i was so pressured and stressed with her. She really pushing us always to our limits. Imagine, the things i never imagined i'm doing alone, well i did it! And it's all because of her. Maybe stressful, but i thanked her for making things i thought i can't do on my own.

*I broke up with Benhur and I met Marc. After a 5year relationship with Ben, i met Marc at FF. Hmmm how can i say this.. two relationship i had was definitely far different from each other and the rest is history..

Hoooo! 2013 was a really a roller coastet for me. I came to differwnt changes and i' m glad and can proudly say that I surpassed it all. My experiences in 2013 taught me how to decide and to be independent (somehow), to be stronger and to fight for what I believe in, to appreciate things around me, to value myself, to love and give love, to forgive and to accept reality.

I hope 2014 will further nourish my learnings last 2013. Of course I won't do anything with God who never left me althrough out my life. I owe to you everything Lord.

#thankful #farewell2013

Never ever afford to lose them. Too precious to lose them.

This is forever. :)

I'm willing to forget and give you a second chance to prove yourself.

Love is all about acceptance, forgiveness and happiness.

#thefirsttimeifeltthis

I waaaaant!

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Ze roses.

Everyday messages asking for forgiveness. Sent roses at the office still asking for forgiveness. Called me, explain his side and still asking for forgiveness. Called me again on the midnight of 24th, crying, sobbing and still asking for forgiveness. Went to our house, with halaya on his hands, talk to my mom on the 25th of December still asking for forgiveness.

Who am I not to forgive. But my forgiveness doesn't mean I'm coming back. Only time will tell when everythings will be like before again..

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No regrets, just lesson learned