;That's me, Ms. 20 Something;

Scarlett’s body felt way too tense, since she woke up. New York life was something she had never imagined it would be and living with her sister, and basically knowing her made her feel so excited. She wanted to ask her if she needed any people in her magazine, but sometimes, she forgot and some other times she thought that she wouldn’t have the time to do that.

After getting dressed and basically getting ready to go out, she couldn’t stretch all that tension from her body. Everything seemed weird with her and she wasn’t sure, she could talk to anyone about that for now. Her heart started beating faster, as she reached the coffee shop and taking a deep breath didn’t help, as she felt a sweet numbness in her brain. She rolled her eyes with that feeling and pushed the door of the coffee shop rather abruptly, her head already moving around the place to see if May had arrived there. She sucked on her lower lip, as she found the other girl and coughed lightly, as she approached the table she was sitting. “Hey”, she said with a nervous smile and tapped her fingers on the table, before finally sitting on a chair close to May’s. “I hope I’m not late”, she said and pushed her hair to the side.

A cough caused Maisie to quickly turn her head towards the sound. The smile the grew on her face was so wide that the tubes almost fell out. “No you’re fine I just got some coffee i’m waiting for it to cool down but i’m super impatient.” A small giggle left her lips as she placed the coffee between cold hands. “I was going to order for you but didn’t want to get you the wrong thing.” 

What if they don’t understand it, though? What if I gave myself and I keep giving and all she does is waiting for ME to apologize? It’s a never-ending circle. Do you know how many times I’ve fought with William about it? I mean…not exactly fought…but I keep thinking about what the hell I did wrong. Ranting is good. Do go on.

That is a great idea. Honestly, I still love him. Not like…that way, but he’s the only one who treated me better than the rest (not counting William, of course). I mean, like Chad and Jesse. And sometimes, I feel bad that I was so selfish and stubborn on that decision. But, you know, even if it didn’t last long, you and him were doing really well. By the way…are you still married…?

Something like a Christmas present, yeah. 

Well that’s just how they are though they want only you to apologize and that isn’t right. Therefore you owe them nothing like that. I get you having arguments about this all it effects your life just like anything else would. People say that friends can’t hurt you and that isn’t true at all. Friends can hurt you the worst cause they know the weaknesses. 

Rory was an amazing guy and I loved him two but something happened. I don’t know what happened but it did and I had to live with that. Which I have and now I gotta just move on from it at all. The divorce all of it is done with and I need to live my life for myself again. Well I don’t think I ever actually just lived it for myself fully. 

Scarlett sat up, as Charlie made that introduction, feeling more confused than ever as her sister talked. A bunch of scenarios danced around her head and she frowned, still not knowing why Charlie would think Scarlett would react that way if she knew. She’d never think less of Charlie-never ever. She sighed heavily and nodded so that Charlie would go on. She glanced at her mom that was looking down and back to Charlie.

Scarlett bit her lower lip, holding herself not to say his name-she barely remembered him now-but it was surely something she wanted to blurt out. Scarlett started blinking fast, thinking of all that. She couldn’t help but extent her hand and hold Charlie’s. She wasn’t sure if she’d understand what happened then and Charlie would be a mess. “It’s Bruce, isn’t it? It’s that guy?”, she tried to look in her eyes. “Didn’t you ask for the reason? The reason he left you. That’s obscene, Charlie”, she shook her head and stood up abruptly, pulling her hand away from her sister’s. Her mother shook her head, feeling sadder than she thought about the situation that she partly knew. “Those kind of people should be ashamed they still walk around free and think that they can’t apologize to anyone. If he apologized I would be okay”, she ranted and then, widened her eyes as she saw that she was talking rather quick and fast. “Did he apologize?”.

Charlie had no expected this reaction from Scarlett at all. Normally the younger sister was reserved but still able to show her anger. This time however it seemed that enough was enough and it made worry fill Charlie’s heart. Something must’ve happened when she was gone and that just made the girl hurt a little harder. 

“Scarlett please I understand that it’s just a shitty story through and through. Believe me I had to come to terms with the fact that I never got the proper expiation for anything that happened to me. Bruce apologized in some way but it was cold and it still explained nothing. I had no reason as to why this all happened and it sucks. To this day I live with it all and it sucks.” Her face felt warm as she got up to hug her sister tightly. Understanding the anger that was flooding through her cause this was already felt. For years the girl lived with her life turning upside down and there being no closure. Of course the idea of it sounded ridiculous to people who weren’t in her mind. “I got what I got and I took it. I took it and ran and it wasn’t the right way to deal with it but well that’s all I could do.” 

Zac’s smile grew wider, as Charlie laughed with his statement and bit his lower lip, chewing it softly. He took a small sip of his beer and leaned a little closer so that he could hear her better. “Well, I bet”, he chuckled with that. “After hearing your story around about Indonesia, I cannot imagine you as someone…partying. I know that you’re from Lima, Ohio. Or so I’ve heard from the gossipers around here”, he smirked as he turned his head a little to look around. People were looking-among them his ex and he smiled wider with that, looking back at Charlie. “Amy is a friend of yours from here? Lima?”, he asked.

Charlie crossed her legs as she nodded finishing her first drink already. It was hard to be in such a big crowd plus all of them wanted knew her. There was literally no where to hide just this tiny escape. “Well there I wasn’t drinking.” A smirk grew on the girls lips before she waved the bar tender over. After he nodded she got closer to Zac mostly due to the music being so loud. “Yes I am from Lima, Ohio and it’s very boring there. That is why I think I was a party girl but I haven’t partied in years.”

“Another?” The bar tender asked and she nodded with a big grin. 

Once her mother sat down, she widened her eyes and looked at Scarlett that instantly rolled her eyes. “Don’t get me started”, the woman said turning to look at Charlie. “Yeah, you don’t have to. I’ve already told Charlie what happened”, Scarlett pouted.  “God, Scarlett-what you did was extemely bad. And not talking to me was also bad”, their mother said and Scarlett couldn’t help but frown. “At least tell me what wrong”, she said and Scarlett turned to Charlie. “You have a story to tell”, she whispered.

The feeling in the room became stuffy thanks to that question. Charlie almost hit herself for not realizing that it was the wrong question. However Scarlett then reminded her of what she needed to do. “Alright so this is why I left and Scarlett I need you to know” she paused and sighed “i didn’t want you to know cause it was hard. It wasn’t cause you needed to be spared the details. Apart of me felt that once you knew you may think less of me.” 

Charlie felt her heart just racing as she tried to find the right words. “I was in a relationship that was going on for a couple of years. Both me and him really found peace each other but not in a normal way. It was kinda how we just handled each others pains. Then I got pregnant and we were happy at first. Until I was put on a high risk pregnancy and things spiraled out of control.” Looking down at her fingers that she began to pick at she sighed. Her thumb was now bleeding thanks to her horrible habits. Biting her lip she sighed “I one day lost the baby and him. The baby died before I gave birth and he just left me there in that room by myself.” 

And it’s really hard to show that you care, when the other person is looking at themselves and only themselves.  I’m trying to keep them in the past and sometimes, I think that making amends will work-but then, I realize that maybe I overthink that, too. Maybe, they’re still the same person that…keeps a long face to minor things. And waits for me to only give, when I never get anything in return. Nobody’s perfect but…I was just I don’t know…I’m rambling again. I’m just glad you’re okay. And back to tumblr.

Anyway, you really need to meet my friends: Alissa, Alexa and Caitlin. They’re in my shipping list.

 Ah…same lovers. We have a past with that, don’t we? Still sorry about it. 

Yeah, I do. I’ll probably learn around Christmas, if they’ll get me. A lot of people keep telling me that.

OH MY GOD-that is amazing. If you’re able to send me anything of yours so that I can read it, please-please-please do. We are on the same city again.

I learned a lot when being away about how people can really mean it if they are true to you. Sometimes you have to realize that you gave it your all and that is well it. That’s it you gave it what you had and didn’t get it back and that isn’t your fault. Once you give someone your all there isn’t much left, if they can’t handle that then it’s their fault. Everyone want’s to blame themselves but really it’s not always that way. See now you have me ranting! I am so glad to be back I can’t wait to catch up with. 

Oh I can’t wait to meet your new friends we should have like a wine night with netflix! We do have a lover in common but yeah don’t worry I had to go through a lot after that one. Not with you but with how everything went down. I mean I really had to take some time for myself after all that due to how invested i let myself get with it all. 

Well it can be a great possible christmas present my fingers are crossed! Oh i’d love to send you my writing!