In dying you find your beginning

𝔄id was provided by the protective older brother with deft digits working their way on the most troublesome parts of the winter pieces that Sirius struggled with. When it came to the shoes, Ciel had helped him into the first pair, buttoning the spats on each shoe. On top of that would be their father’s pair of winter boots. It was ridiculously oversized, but Sirius held his tongue for the time being. Ciel was thinking entirely about his health and safety; for that, he could only be grateful to have such a caring and selfless brother. With such an endearing gesture, the boy couldn’t help but smile as the other was bent over to tightly lace the boots.

Ciel would then make a comment about Tanaka, their head butler who cared deeply for the boys and treated them just as a grandfather would. The comment was enough to make the younger boy laugh out loud. He was unable to stifle such a sound even though he had a feeling that Tanaka was more than capable of capturing them. Yet his brother was so good and so ridiculous when he made fun of their elder. It was all in good fun.

‘ You’re so funny sometimes. ’

There would be a brief moment between the two, and something tingled Sirius’s senses. Something that told him he knew what his older brother was thinking of when he had gone silent for only a pause. Something else told him that he didn’t want to ponder too long on the thought if what he was thinking was true. Their mother could be quite frightful when need be.

With another grasp to his hand, he would follow along until they would reach the back door leading out to their favorite area. There would be a few minutes taken to admire the dancing swirls and silver lines that decorated polished glass, leaving behind the temptation of a winter wonderland just beyond. The frail child would listen as his beloved brother spoke almost endlessly about the designs that he loved most, and occasionally Sirius would point out his as well, only to immediately pull his hand back upon the frigid touch of frozen glass. It felt like solid ice and they had not even walked outside yet!

‘ It is.,, It’s very cold. ’

Gloves would be handed over and while he was able to grasp them, with clothing so oversized and nearly swallowing him whole, he was unable to pull them onto his hands himself. The heir would smile as he always did and help his brother place them on. With that, the door would be pushed open to reveal more than just a winter wonderland. It was as if they were entering a fairytale. Almost like Alice in Wonderland. The scenery was much different than that of before.Though a biting chill nipped at them while they adjusted to the temperature change, the beautiful area behind their home was far too tempting by that point to tuck their tails and turn back. Sapphires would glance at the other boy that made his first step outdoors before fixating upon the scene before them. With such a captivating view before them, it was almost painful to upset the perfect picture. The snow glistened and sparkled much like the twin’s blazing baby blues that their mother always complimented.

Sirius’s attention would be captured as soon as Ciel spoke. Indeed. It did look like ice cream. Especially closer to the gardens itself. Wishing to be close to his brother lest he lose the child under the evening stars, two little legs would shuffle together. Such oversized clothing prohibited him from walking properly, but safety was much more important. With that, a waddle would come alive, resembling that of a small penguin.

‘ It’s so pretty out here, Ciel. I want to get closer to the garden. ’

     The moment the little earl-to-be’s eyes fell upon his brother he was shocked into silence, witnessing what would very much become his favorite and most hilarious moment with his little brother. Each little waddle of a leg a new struggle to overcome and even the smallest little hilltop of settled snow proves a mountain!

     When the shock wears off, he bursts out laughing, doubling over and clutching his sides as if he’s afraid of splitting at the seams which is precisely what it feels like he might do! Oh how he laughs and laughs and his little lungs freeze but he collapses into the snow and laughs some more.

     “B-brother! Ahaha! You-ahaha- you look- ahahah!” He can’t help himself and surely he will feel guilty about it much later or when his sensitive little brother starts sniffling about it and Ciel will surely reassure him that he’s not making fun, but rather having fun!

     “You can hardly move little brother!” And he can hardly breathe but he tries and he claws his way back to his feet, hair full of snow and clothes a white caked mess. He brushes himself off as he wades through the snow again to his brother’s side and takes his hand to help him deeper into the garden, still snickering at the sight of his newfound walk.

     “Really, it isn’t that cold outside, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to take off a few layers?” But he knows he won’t. He may be the sky, but his little brother is the star that shines within, cradled and protected, cherished. He will never endanger his brother’s health.

     Saccharine nectar drips heavenly from trembling lips, each word a slake of thirst setting spine to shivering. Oh how beautiful thy pain little Rhetenor.

     “What he created is an abomination. You and I will not be the only ones hunting for their heads. Should we deign to make a sport of it, I think you’d find it quite enjoyable.” A tease of course, his master would never venture into something so crass.

     “That includes the thing that calls itself your brother. Will you have the fortitude to do what is necessary in the end?”

     “Could an abomination like that remember things? If...if you- then how did he get Ciel’s memories? Aren’t they only obtained after being reaped? And because of what you did- he wouldn’t...” White knuckled, he clutches the edge of the tub and pulls himself up to stare into the swirling mass of bubbles.

     “That’s right...he’s an abomination. I am the sole heir left to the Phantomhive estate. I will do what I have to in order to protect it.” There’s no hesitation in his voice, brows furrowed and focus solely on scrubbing his body clean before he rises and waits to be toweled off.

𝔄 sudden shout would startle the younger of the two, provoking a faint jolt in the petite frame. A tilt of the head would reveal Sirius’s wonder at what Ciel had suddenly thought of. He was always the scheming type when it came to being the more adventurous of the two. Not a second after however, would there be a sudden grip around his own hand as he was then gently pulled along from their seats by the window. Ciel had already begun to sprint with his younger twin in tow. Tiny legs fought to keep up with his older brother, sounds of faint panting as he exerted himself to keep up.

‘ Ciel! Wait! Where are we going? ’

Inquiry would go unanswered but they had arrived at their destination not long afterward. The child’s hand would be released then as Ciel took the doorknob into both of his palms and turned it to open the door. Within were neatly hung winter wear. Sirius had nearly forgotten the closet downstairs even existed as he was oft not allowed out in the winter if he was too ill. Ciel wasted not a second scouring for the perfect outfit that would keep both of them warm. The second-born could only watch as he continued to question the other with no success of receiving an answer. It wasn’t until a hot was tossed down so suddenly that it landed right atop Sirius’s face!

‘ Wah! ’

Removing the article, Ciel had found his way back down exclaiming that their parents wouldn’t mind so long as the sickly boy was bundled up. Concern filled the matching set of blazing bottle blues as they moved from the clothing now in their arms to the heir standing before him. The twitch of plump pink lips would turn downward into a small frown. It was clear Sirius was worried they would get into trouble. He would voice as such with his soft tones.

‘ Ciel… Are you sure this is okay? What if mother and father find us? What if Gramps finds us and yells at us? We’re going to get into trouble. ’

Though anxious and hesitant, it seemed that his brother was adamant about going out to see the snow-covered gardens with him. So much so that he was already rushing through putting on his own winter coats. It was almost nerve-wracking, but seeing the excitement light up that bubbly personality was enough of a push for the younger boy to slowly start dressing himself. It would take a moment or two as he fought with the occasional button or two, but eventually he would be bundled up. All that was left was the scarf; a piece he would struggle with as his arms were a little more constricted in their winter clothing.

     Ciel’s little lungs huff and puff as he shimmies down the ladder of shelves he’d climbed, eyeing boots and gloves on his way and choosing the nicest warmest ones to knock down to the ground. When he’s finally on his own two feet again he laughs and helps his little brother bundle up, making sure the scarf covered his nose and mouth. The boots he scoops up and kneels before the sickly twin, helping him slide his on and then their father’s for good measure.

     “There you go! If Gramps finds us, we can outrun him! Even you can, he’s so slow!” Ciel claps his hands over his mouth and giggles, imagining the state of their head butler trying to catch up to the two of them. He pauses to consider their mother and father though. Mother was extraordinarily good at catching him when they’d run around outside in the warmer seasons. Avoiding her would be hard enough!

     “There’s nothing to be afraid of, I promise. We’ll be quick!” His tiny little hand in Sirius’s, he drags him along to the lightless halls leading all the way to the back of the manor where the glass has frosted over with the prettiest patterns all perfectly formed like someone had painted them on. He takes a moment to ooh and aah at the designs, showing his baby brother his favorites and that’s when he remembers the gloves.

     “Isn’t the glass so cold? Put these on.” With arms as stiff as boards he knows Sirius can’t put them on alone so he helps him with those too before pushing open the door. The wind comes howling in and it stings his eyes to watering. When he adjusts his eyes go wide. The snow here is undisturbed and beautiful, small little spots where the moonlight reflects off of the fractals and he steps just outside the door, mesmerized.

     A shudder blooms across pallid skin heat mottled and exquisitely malleable and it is not a perception missed. It waivers there on the tip of his tongue and in he drinks the scent of fear. How sweet he calls in times of need, and how readily the butler answers.

“Yes, my lord?” Should the vile come knocking, Hell hath seen no fury like his own. Complacency settled in hollow bones and like a rattled cage sent flying. ‘no real threat’ had become a curse uttered in the holiest of presences. Obscene.

     A sizeable part of him doesn’t want to know the answer. He wants it buried deep where no one can ever reach it.

     “That...isn’t possible, right? What he’s created...can’t really be my brother? You said it yourself. What happened that night-” He can’t bear to think about it anymore. The longer he dwells on it, the further down the pain spikes and he feels like his chest is about to explode.

~ Continued From x ~

     For a long and quiet moment the twin debates heading out into the snow alone but the prospect of being without his sibling and the daunting task of building a snowman all by himself seems to be a little too much. The excitement fades from rounded sapphires before he remembers.

     “Wait!” A tiny hand clasps tight around his brother’s and drags him from the stool they’d propped up against their bedroom window. The sound of small footsteps echo in the darkened corridors as he races his twin to the downstairs closet where he’s seen the servants stash all the best and warmest clothing.

     “Here!” He finally lets go of his brother’s hand to reach up and with both tiny fists turn the knob. The closet is stuffed neatly with coats of all colors and there are even jackets just their size but Ciel doesn’t waste any of it. He grabs a few coats and chooses ones that matches with pockets for snowballs and sticks and any nice little icicles they’ll find. The scarves are mother’s and they smell just as sweet as her but he scrambles up to reach the shelf where the hats are kept and he chooses his favorite hat his father always wears and tosses it down to his twin.

     “Mother and father won’t mind as long as you’re properly dressed!” He’s always been the adventurous one, bold and demanding and he’s sure that if anything happens he will protect his brother. Even if they get into trouble, he will take the blame.

“Yes, he and his ilk seem to attract attention wherever they go.” Detrimentally so. To the chagrin of the one it seems is in charge of the misfits. A shame he’s terribly ineffective. Palms cradle delicate foot as glass ready to disintegrate under the pressure of a thumb. Laces unfold and shoe slides off, settled atop the tray.

“However, I do not believe he had a direct- or shall I say more aptly: a public interrelation with your family. It seems more likely with his dereliction he would perform in the shadows. Perhaps no Phantomhive had ever seen him before now.” Now the socks, folded and placed beside the shoes, a towel fetched to afford the master his privacy as he stripped the rest away.

“That is, if he were intelligent. In taking the others into consideration I have little hope for him.” Clever as he may be all sense has fled him if his desire was to reanimate corpses. The mores curious question to be- how had he created a ‘doll’ from nothing?

     “And yet here he is. The most concerning thing to me now is whether or not he will raise my entire family from their graves before he is satisfied.” A grimace spills across his face, nose wrinkling and brows furrowing and he wants to hide away in the safety of the bubbles so he does. He sinks beneath the line of sight they offer and closes his eyes, arms wrapped around himself.

     “I don’t want to think of the desecration that it requires to piece them all together. My brother... he... No. I refuse to buy his propaganda. That is not my brother that is...some facsimile.” The boy draws his knees to his chest and buries his chin in the small divot between them.

     Apprehension settles beautifully over pallid brow and tumultuous seas, the beating of a virtuous heart like thunder in the distance. There is another storm brewing behind the façade and the demon licks his lips.

“Come morning we will begin where all things do. At the beginning.” The master’s bath awaits in perfect temperature, the scent of roses pervasive and adrift. He offers his services within, a gentle sweep of the hand to guide. “We will ascertain the Undertaker’s connection to your family and the poison which runs deep within it. There’s no telling how long he’s been a part of your history.”

     “Barring your terrible sense of humor you’re...right.” As on the nose as ever and irritatingly so. His butler has never missed his mark and with his penchant of adding a jab in there somewhere the insult isn’t lost on him. Exasperated the boy raises a brow and glances to the open door and the floral smell and tonight it doesn’t seem as tedious. Inviting even. It’s the thought of sinking beneath the water’s surface deeper and deeper that pulls him to the bath tub, perching on its ivory side.