The Past and Pending

What is it

I don’t know if I want to. Don’t get me wrong, I love my partner, it’s more, I don’t love the UK. I’ve been here for almost 4 years already and although its been great for school, I don’t know if I can do another two years. I miss the states (and Canada more accurately). However, I’m trained for the London Theatre scene and I feel like that’s what I’ve been pouring my heart into for the past few years. Yet I also feel so weirdly happy when I think about walking away from it. I have no idea what to do. Do I tell my partner I’m not up for it? Moved to NYC and try to continue to persue my work, and then what? See if we can get a US visa in 2 years after he’s done training? ugh

Do I know who I am yet? No. Is that okay for today? Yeah I think so. Do I wish I could figure out what I fucking want? Abso-fucking-lutely but for today I am a theatre-maker. Maybe tomorrow I won’t be. But I’m finding it nice to just give things a shot right now.