sidewalk social scientist

Making sure my Zoom camera is tilted at a Dutch angle to indicate to my coworkers my psychological madness

i'm your only friend (realizes that's statistically unlikely) i'm not your only friend (considers my positive qualities) but i'm a little glowing friend (suddenly gets cold feet) but really i'm not actually your friend (remembers to be confident in relationships) but i am

july being tomorrow for the love of god this cant be happening.

before pride month ends does anyone wanna admit they have a crush on me

posting this on the first day of june so you all have plenty of time to gather your nerves and whatnot

STOP saying the otherworldly powers are corrupting my mind godddddd. You literally wish you were us. I mean us. I mean me.

Uncharted cave systems are the perfect place to hash out your relationship drama

my kingdom for a pair of tortoiseshell cateye glasses that aren’t too thick too thin or too pointy and don’t have with gold accents or extra stuff all over them or “sassy bits” I’m going to work ok not the librarian sex dungeon

okay but do you know where the librarian sex dungeon is, do you have directions to the librarian sex dungeon, i need to get there to the librarian sex dungeon

“but if i tell Friend/Family/Partner about my needs instead of being a silently beleaguered doormat, they won’t want to be around me anymore!” that’s called the trash taking itself out and it’s the kinder but slightly less fun alternative to hitting them with sticks and rocks