THAT WAS THEN, THIS IS NOW

i was supposed to be seeing jennifer in concert tonight but wasn't able to figure out transportation in time or sell my tickets, so now i'm just sitting here clown shoes squeaking like an absolute fool

write death becomes her muses w me 🥺

♡ . the dead have risen, and have stumbled right to @fabala's door. paint peeling, grey-tinged skin cracking - an abandoned house in human (?) form, forgotten and left to rot. falling apart, and yet she walks (for if she stops, there will be no starting again) spurned on by the vague directions from half-helpful passers by why would you seek the witch ... you know not of the dark magicks you will be inviting in until helen arrives at her destination. clenched fist pounds on the oaken door of the dwelling, the action sending spiderweb-like cracks crawling up her hand. there's a hiss of pain (a reflex, a half-remembered reaction to what pain is supposed to feel like) as helen withdraws her hand, and resorts to just yelling. "elphaba thropp, please tell me you're in there. i ... i'm dead and i need your help."

♡ . it isn't the way she'd imagined it, all those years in the ... health spa plotting planning her great revenge. but the opportunity was too perfect to pass up; the chance to ruin madeline and ernest's lives in front of all of their former coworkers? how wonderful, how delicious. mere minutes after her arrival, and she knows she's already caused a scene — whispers of her arrival (and how different she now looks) and both ernest and madeline's flustered reactions have started to circulate, accompanied by furtive glances sent her way. smile curves onto red-pained lips as helen revels in just how well things are going for her. still, she doesn't particularly want to be here (old habits die hard, and she's still an introvert at heart), but she refuses to leave before the menvilles do - wanting to assert her dominance over them once and for all. so she decides to mingle for a bit, determined to put the effects of viola's potion on full display. the first familiar face she stumbles upon is @broughtpeace, and helen's shark-like grin softens into something more genuine. she'd always thought highly of the charge nurse, and has no reason to play her little charade with anyone but madeline and ernest. "dana evans ... how long has it been?" ten years, seven months, twelve days since her life had been ruined by madeline ashton and she'd been forced to leave ptmc and pittsburg entirely ... but who's counting?

so if any of my beloved mutuals haven't seen death becomes her and would like to ... i have so many bootlegs and would be so down to stream on discord literally whenever <3

still trying to find hel’s voice again, but ♥️ this for a short starter, maybe?

okay. helen's pitt au. everything's the same, except ernest works as a reconstructive plastic surgeon at ptmc. helen works in admin (and is still a struggling writer in this universe), and so she's passingly familiar with some of the pitt staff. she still takes viola's potion, still dies, and without ernest to keep her and madeline from falling apart - she might risk exposure and seek the help of some of pittsuburg's finest medical professionals.

can i be so brave and honest and admit something? so when i was like ten or eleven i watched a youtube video that was just a compilation of women being evil in film or whatever. so like the witch from the witches, mombi from return to oz, etc. and like, nothing in it scared me except for this scene with a woman with glowing blue eyes and a hole in her stomach. idk what it is but it made me so viscerally uncomfortable that i kept replaying it over and over (which. was just the start of the obsession/compulsions, but that diagnosis was still 15 years away so. i digress). and it wasn’t until this year that i put it together; that character, who i’d spent a whole week obsessing over/being scared of. was helen sharp death becomes her. moral of the story is: i don’t think i was scared, i think i was a baby gay who didn’t know what that meant❣️