“Out of context, that sounded weird.” “This is like Pokémon Snap for psychotics.” “That’ll take my soul!” “They are undead and coordinated.” “I need extra mustard-colored shirts.” “Nice butt. Are you like a…butt model?” “Have you seen Natalie? She’s my nine iron!” “Never follow a ball into the street when it’s infested by zombies.” “I wish I was your lover.” “WHATEVER.” “Oh, you defeated a psychopath.” “Sick Rat Man shirt, bro.” “Well, I’ve got plenty of pictures of the Loch Ness Monster if you wanna see them.” “It’s a panic at the disco!” “All I can do is three things: dance, dance, and dance.” “Easy there, Quick-Draw McGraw!” “It looks out of control!” “I’ll just be like ‘oopsie-poopsies’ and go on with my life.” “Is this hell?” “I never got to tell ____ that it isn’t working!” “I hear you beepin’ and a-boopin’.” “Oh, new skill mastered: clown-killing.” “Nighttime is when bad stuff happens.” “I used…the Shining!” “Tag! You…are…it.” “You want to stay here with things that eat your baby?” “Stab him! Stab him with the garbage knife!” “Tell my husband/wife I said, 'Agh! I’ve been shot!’” “Slizzity slice, bitch!” “Coffee creamer will fuckin’ cure what ails you.” “I do like bananas.” “Don’t butt-nudge me!” “Stay right there, honey bear.” “Sorry, I’m having committment issues.” “Looks like your back needs some lumbar support!” “The orange juice did not extinguish the flames!” “A little paranormal whack-tivity.” “Gonna get some muffins.” “Well, he’s kinda cute but– AGH!” “My muffins!” “I’ve got the crazy fists!” “Into the begonias.” “I’m a…dancing queen!” “Just join the freakin’ cult with me!” “A fuckboy becomes a fuck-man at his barmitz-fuck.” “Furniture and battle axes?” “There’s a lot of muted earth-toned flannels going on right there.” “You bent it like zombie Beckham!” “That is an ocean of zombies!” “____, listen to ____.” “You need your telephone fixed?” “It was a satisfaction-free orange juice experience.” “Go fuck yourself, I love you!” “Jeepers crappers…” “You are fuckin’ being super corporate with me right now.” “Ahh! Youths!” “I’m not stuck in here with zombies, they’re stuck in here with ME.” “Aw, dip!” “I used to call escalators 'esca-ladle-ladle-ladles.’” “Sometimes I wonder, 'Is it even worth it to be not-alive anymore?’” “Did he tell you his favorite sandwich is a panini from Panera Bread?” “Don’t blame this on the government!” “It’s a map!” “BEES!” “Time flies when you’re fuckin’ stressed out and dying.” “You never listen to me.” “Watch out for the guy!” “May I call you ‘sandwich?’”

SPENCER  &  HOLLAND    +    holland’s  surprise  pda  attacks    (  @heistdriven  )

“Can’t you see that I’m fucking leisuring?”  

BESPOKE: all canon characters began as someone’s OC and plenty of them are still celebrated despite often inconsistent writing, especially certain male characters who are a thinly disguised self-insert onto which critically-acclaimed male authors have transparently projected their fantasies thereFORE who gives a shit if we use our OCs to rip out a part of ourselves and work through it in lieu of therapy when the world is crumbling around us. whether writing is your profession of your hobby, we should all get to be trash goblins.

ind, priv, sel original muse, written by anya.         ©

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Richard Madden | GQ Magazine

mb: Danny Ocean & Rusty Ryan

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I’m not The Queen. You’re allowed to touch me.