i am the monster you fear.

☁️ - fluff, 💥 - angst, ❤️‍🔥 - smut

azriel x reader:

meddling (part one, part two, part three, part four) - 💥☁️

blueberry scones & lemon squares - ☁️

let's go - 💥

finally (req) - 💥☁️

so long - 💥

it's the shadows (part one, part two) - ❤️‍🔥

between you & i - 💥☁️

five more sets (req) - 💥

save the day (please) - 💥☁️

coffee for two - ☁️

drabbles:

azriel wearing rings

taking care of azriel when he's injured

touchy azriel & his hands

a severely down bad drabble lol

you'd acquired bookshelves lined with novels including the widest range of genres you could get your hands on. you loved to learn - aspired to fill your mind with as much knowledge as possible. your eyes snagged onto the spine of one of your favorite classics - a romance, of course. you were always drawn to romance. your heart was consistently perched right on your sleeve, dreaming of the day that a lover may pluck the beating organ right into their own hands - cradling it and worrying over it as if it were their own.

you sighed at the thought, gently sprawling your current read across your chest. layers of cloud-like bedding encompassed your frame - you were already curled into your mattress for the evening, body adorned in a silk pajama set comprised of a camisole and shorts. the smooth fabric boasted dainty embroidered roses - it was your favorite ensemble to wear to bed, airy and light.

you peered around your space, the fire lit in the hearth providing the coziest blanket of warmth. the bursting sunset allowed pools of golden, pink light to pool across your hardwood floor. you felt, just for a moment, like you were solely existing in a dream.

and, like in most of the dreams that nestled their way into your mind's eye while you were asleep, azriel's face made an appearance right at the forefront of your thoughts - uninvited, but never unwelcome.

your eyes fluttered shut as you allowed every part of you to succumb to every bit of him.

you adored being a romantic to your core, and often found a lovesick, drowsy feeling always trailing right behind any thought of the shadowsinger that resided right down the hall.

you'd pined for him, which came as no surprise to you at all. he was so kind, so gentle with you. and you longed to give every ounce of love that you'd been collecting, saving, nurturing, growing for the right moment - the right lover - over to him.

you knew he deserved it. and deep down, you knew he'd been longing to be loved just as much as you'd longed to love.

you curled your legs in tighter to yourself, opening your eyes to cast them to the tall ceiling above your head, but only momentarily.

you never allowed yourself to give into these lovelorn feelings for too long, lest you actually make yourself feel ill. your body would begin to itch with the urge to bound northward through the halls, until your bare feet found themselves right at the threshold of azriel's wooden door.

and then what?

then things - feelings - would become too real, and azriel struck you as the kind of male likely to bolt as opposed to stare down the barrel of that gun.

so, you clutched onto the book that was still spread across your chest, stretched your bare legs out before you, and continued to read. about love, and happy endings, and a male that loved the main character just as much as she loved him. if only.

azriel, on the other hand, decided that he loved you about fifteen minutes later. and by decided, it moreso felt like he had been hit in the chest by one of cassian's training shields at full-speed.

his shadows had been skittering about his large frame, following him up, up, up the stairs, and down the hallway towards his rooms.

he was lost in thought, momentarily attempting to work out the details of a mission he was set to embark on later in the week, and also contemplating if he should ask the house for a plate of chocolate cake to indulge in before sharpening truth teller.

he watched as a tendril of shadow darted ahead to unlock his door, and all it took was one absentminded craning of his neck to the left to stop him dead in his tracks, literally - his heavy boots almost making an audible screeching sound at the abruptness of it all.

the door to your rooms was ajar, just slightly. he wasn't even sure if you were aware of it.

but right in his line of sight, was you. laying atop soft bedding, bare legs in silk shorts, long hair undone and cascading around your shoulders like a halo. the evening glow through your windows mixed with the flames from the hearth and surrounded you in a haze that made you look like an angel - like you were a figment of his imagination that had conjured itself when he was in need of it the most.

you were so peaceful, reading a book with a dreamy-looking expression painted across your features. he couldn't have asked the most skilled artist in prythian to create a more beautiful piece of art.

now, of course azriel knew you. he'd conversed with you plenty of times. you were often around the rest of his family, present at most meals and gatherings. and he'd always thought you were beautiful - achingly so, at times.

however, he'd forced himself to place a mental barrier where you were concerned. you were too precious, too kind, too bright. so bright, in fact, that he'd always made sure to hide his shadows away from you.

but seeing you this way, right now - he felt those mental walls crumbling under the weight of your exquisite existence.

should he knock?

should he inquire about what you were reading?

should he honestly just skip all of that, and instead rip his heart from the confines of his chest and offer it over to you on the spot?

no, surely not. his shadows were lazily orbiting around him now, and his wings had relaxed to the point of lightly trailing along the stone floor. he was mesmerized, and you hadn't even noticed - hadn't even seen him.

which, he thought, was probably how it was always going to be.

his hand twitched, his fist clenched, and his shoulders drooped - all for only a moment. and then he continued forward, dejected and craving isolation.

back to the shadows, where he belonged. not worthy of your warm, bright light.

a/n: sad girl + sad hours = sad writing

you'd become comfortable with every one of his loved ones to some extent - they all adored you, took care of you, worried after you.

but az .... there still remained a question mark over the male. you couldn't quite figure out how he felt about your presence.

sure, you'd caught him softly smirking over at you when you'd crack one of your witty jokes. and sure, he'd often speak up whenever you found yourself in a pointless debate with cassian over various family dinners - the shadowsinger never failing to stand up for you and take your side, even if the mock argument was all in good fun.

one time, you were running late for said dinner, and az had gone out of his way to make sure the house had prepared your favorite meal - your plate was steaming hot and waiting for you on a placemat right next to his own seat whenever you'd finally made your way into the dining hall.

cass had just snickered down the table, waggling his eyebrows at his brother's obvious show of affection. azriel remained silent, shooting daggers back towards the war general. that was enough of a response to shut cassian's mouth.

this morning, you'd taken a spot at that same table for breakfast, nursing a mug of hot, dark liquid. the pungent aroma trailed throughout the bottom level of the house, and azriel caught a whiff of it as soon as his boots met the landing of the staircase.

he inhaled deeply, the scent engulfing his senses. it was pleasant - deep and calming. he followed it all the way to the threshold of the dining hall, his gaze finding your small frame tucked into one of the large, cushioned chairs immediately.

you were still wearing your silk nightgown, a matching robe adorning your shoulders. he noted the way the fabric had slipped down just slightly, your bare skin glistening in the morning glow that trickled through the windows behind you.

your hair was tousled, but in the most endearing way. you'd clearly very recently woken up, opting to find your way to this very table before doing anything else.

you stared down at the mug cradled in your hands, your eyes still heavy and tired.

"good morning," he said softly by way of greeting. he began to walk quietly to the chair opposite yours - the thump, thump, thump of his boots against the hardwood floor breaking the calm silence.

you peered up at him, tired eyes slightly squinted. a strand of hair falling in front of your eyes. azriel's gaze snagged there, his fingers twitching with the urge to tuck it behind your ear. he didn't, though - his external expression remained as neutral as possible. however, internally, he couldn't help but let the word adorable sluice through his thoughts.

you gave him a sleepy smile, nodding your head once in greeting.

"good morning, az," you offered, voice still maintaining a fatigued rasp. azriel's knees went weak at the sound, and that's when he decided it would probably be best to sit.

he stared at the contents of your mug for a moment. you weren't indulging in tea - the aroma was much stronger than any he'd personally had before, and azriel thought himself to be quite the tea connoisseur.

"what are you having?," he questioned after a moment, his voice more gentle than you'd ever heard it.

you swallowed the sip you'd just taken, humming quietly to yourself, "coffee," you lightly pushed the mug towards his side of the table, "would you like to try?"

you met his gaze, and azriel realized right then that he'd try anything you'd ask him to - without question, if only to make you happy. even if he hated it, he'd pretend to love it. he longed to make you smile the way his brothers had.

he'd not tried coffee before, although he had heard of it. the opportunity had never arisen, and he figured now was as good a time as any to broaden his scope of morning beverages.

he, too, really enjoyed his alone time right after awakening. it gave him space to sort through his thoughts, his obligations for the day - and he always enjoyed a nice hot cup of tea while doing so.

his scarred hands reached for the mug, and he lifted it to his lips slowly. you smiled fondly while watching him, nodding slightly to urge him on.

"it's a bit strong," you said softly, "i do prefer mine black - without cream or sugar," you added, explaining yourself.

he hummed, taking a generous sip into his mouth. it was bitter, and azriel wasn't quite used to the depths of flavor that he sorted through as soon as the liquid hit his tongue. he thought for a long moment, before taking another small sip.

he nodded in finality, pushing the mug back towards you gently.

"i like that," he decided, nodding once more.

your smile grew as you clasped the mug between your hands once more, "i thought you'd might," you said sweetly, reaching over to tap his hand affectionately.

azriel preened to himself, wishing he could take this moment and pause it for eternity. to never leave this chair, to never have to give up this alone time with you - your silk nightgown, messy hair, and tired eyes. your rosy cheeks. the scent of coffee twining around the both of you, making the air thicker in the sweetest way.

yeah, azriel wish he could freeze-frame this moment forever.

but instead, you both sat in comfortable silence, and the house knowingly presented azriel with his own identical cup of warm, black coffee. his large hand immediately reached out to tug it towards his frame.

you both huffed out a laugh at the same time, and your eyes flicked up to his in realization.

finally, you thought, i've gotten through to him. common ground.

little did you know, azriel had been scrambling after you for months - trying to stand on any ground you'd give him.

and the next morning, when you entered the dining hall bright and early - hair disheveled and half asleep, azriel was already there - waiting for you.

with two mugs of hot, black coffee already on the table.

and because of this, your mood was absolutely foul. as every slight inconvenience began to accumulate and pile on, you felt the crease between your eyebrows wind tighter and tighter. you were sure it was now a permanent fixture on your features.

you'd had half a mind to just crawl back into bed, bring the covers up to your chin, and fall asleep once more - a do-over, a restart. you were convinced that this day was unsalvageable.

you trudged downstairs to the dining hall in the house of wind, hoping to find reprieve in the form of a refreshing lunch. rounding the corner, you became aware of the deep timbre of several different voices, one of which belonging to azriel. your mate.

you'd reinforced your mental shields once your mood had completely gone south earlier today. you didn't want him to feel the tidal waves of unrestrained anger and frustration that you were sure would end up projected down his side of the bond. he had more important things to worry about - you didn't want to derail his mood, too.

you knew him - knew that he would have cancelled every single thing on his agenda today, no matter the importance. his main goal would have become taking care of you and your bad mood. he was a precious, precious male. but honestly, keeping him from his work for the day would have only made your mood worsen due to the guilt it would've caused.

you took a deep breath before stepping into the threshold of the dining hall. you transformed your expression into one that depicted calmness, happiness. you were so sure it was convincing. and to anyone that wasn't your mate, it probably would have been.

you took one step towards the large table that took up the center of the room, a forced smiling stretching across your lips. azriel, cassian, and rhys all met your gaze in tandem, the latter two males nodding politely.

you glanced over at azriel, not missing the way his eyes raked across your body. his stare became hardened for just a moment as he studied you.

"what's wrong?," he asked, voice tense. he clocked it immediately. no mask was opaque enough to hide your true feelings from him.

you faltered for a moment, standing in place - fidgeting with your fingers. he tracked that movement too, huffing out a breath through his nose knowingly. you cleared your throat, taking a seat at the table next to him as you always did.

he stiffened in his seat, shifting his body to face yours just slightly.

"nothing, az," you said brightly, beginning to serve your plate from the generous spread that sat in the center of the table.

az stayed silent for a moment, watching you closely. he combed over your features, waiting for one of your tells. he'd come to know you so well, knew what every minute movement, twitch, or glance meant.

and sure enough, you'd scrunched your nose - just slightly - but azriel knew immediately: something was off.

he placed a large hand on your shoulder without another word, and before you could react, the both of you had been teleported back to your rooms swathed in shadows and night.

you made a quiet noise of surprise - you were not a newly mated couple, but you'd still failed to wholly get used to azriel's teleportation. especially when you were just about to lift a bite of food to your lips. and now, here you both stood, in your dimly lit rooms - no food in sight.

"az," you chastised, knowing that your mate wouldn't drop the subject until you confessed your feelings to him - feelings you'd rather just ignore.

"no, y/n," he replied calmly, leading you over to your shared bed.

"sit," he gently commanded, pulling you down to sit on the edge of the mattress alongside him, "what's going on, my love?"

his voice was so deep, so calm, so loving. it took all of your restraint to not launch yourself into his lap. his question dripped with sincerity, care, love. it made your chest ache.

especially considering you'd planned to hide this part of yourself away from him today.

you sighed, meeting his tender gaze hesitantly. he moved to grab your legs from where they dangled over the bed, opting to drape them over his own lap instead. he gently massaged and rubbed your muscles, urging you to speak whenever you felt ready.

"i'm just having an awful day," you spoke quietly, feeling a bit silly whenever the words left your mouth.

he hummed in understanding, his scarred hands working knots from your calves.

"tell me what happened," his voice like a warm hug. you watched as his hazel eyes searched your face with concern.

you pursed your lips, thinking for a moment. letting out a deep breath, you spoke.

"i woke up late this morning, and it was raining, so i couldn't go down to the rainbow to shop like i'd planned. i spilled my morning tea all over the sheets - which is my fault, i shouldn't have been drinking tea in the bed to begin with, but i was cold, and-...," you trailed off, sighing in exasperation, "i ripped my favorite dress by accidentally stepping on it when i tried to put it on, and," you paused, moving the hem of your gown up a bit higher to show off the budding bruise forming on your kneecap, "i hit my knee on the bed frame and honestly, i think that was the final straw," you finished, glancing up at az's face.

he was smirking at you in adoration, and he dropped his head for a moment to hide the grin that was causing his dimples to make a welcome appearance. he huffed out a small laugh, and you reached over to lightly slap his bicep.

"don't laugh," you fussed, fighting to hold back your own smile.

"my sweet girl," he chuckled out, his voice full of love, "you're just precious, i can't help it," he reached out, cupping your cheek in his large hand.

you sighed again, this time in mock frustration, "you aren't taking me seriously," you remarked, placing your hands in your lap.

"no, no, no," he replied, nearly cooing, "i am, i promise. i'm sorry you've had such a frustrating day," he tsked, tucking a stray strand of hair behind your ear.

"we'll go to the rainbow tomorrow," he amended, "and we'll purchase a brand new dress for you while we're there," he lifted one of your hands, pressing his lips to your knuckles.

"and," he continued, diverting his attention to the angry skin on your knee, "i'll take care of this," his voice lowered, reaching down to press slow, gentle kisses across the area.

he nudged his nose against your thigh as his lips continued to travel. he pressed several more kisses to your tender knee, taking his time.

then, his mouth began to move upward, his fingers digging into the plush skin of your thigh. he placed open mouth kisses as his lavishing continued north, his tongue darting out to taste you as he went.

his hands pushed the hem of your gown up higher, both of your upper legs completely bare to him.

your breath hitched, and you leaned back on your elbows against the mattress. "az," you whispered out, voice heady.

"shh, darling," he hushed, moving himself to bracket his body across your lower half.

his mouth continued its journey up, up, up.

until the sensation of his tongue, his lips, his mouth landed right where you needed it the most.

and suddenly, you couldn't remember why you'd been so upset in the first place.