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Keep telling yourself that, Puckerman. Maybe if you say it enough times, it will come true.

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Maybe at this next one you’re throwing? I’m sure we could get something set up. Everybody likes beer pong. 

For sure! I’ll make sure to have a very special zone dedicated for it, big enough for that kick ass audience you know we’ll get to watch. 

I’m with you, man. Anybody turning down free alcohol’s kind of a square. 

When you’re right, you’re right. Speaking of booze, we gotta get behind a beer pong table again at some point, dude. Kick some more ass. 

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I think if I was to ever die, I would love it to be in some kinda mysterious way like that. Or like… Maybe he just chopped off his own foot to fake his own death. That would be a lot easier than cutting off your own hand. I feel like, cutting off a body part is more of a two handed job anyways. 

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If I were to die, I’d wanna have a heart attack getting laid. At least that way I went out doing a thing I love. Mystery is wicked and all, but I feel like it means you get all tortured and shit beforehand by like the mafia or some shit and thrown out in the middle of the ocean. But for sure dude, losing a leg is what I’d pick too, like how that dude in Saw had to do to get that chain off of his leg. 

Sam: That sounds really, really good. You should be a doctor, 'cause that sounds like the RIGHT medicine about now.

Quinn: Defintely. Although I'm slightly afraid of the razorblades in her hair.

Quinn: Britt and I? Uh. No. I don't think so? Shes not that person.. and I don't really know what I'm doing right now.

Quinn: Oh, I'm totally getting you into another woman studies class now.

Puck: The what?

Puck: She's pretty awesome, maybe she can like help ya work it out and shit. If you feel good with her you might be surprised. But I don't think anyone really knows what they're doing, you just kinda wing it as it goes, I know I sure as shit do.

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I guess that’s the textbook definition of it. Are we cool? ‘Cause you’re one of the few straight up decent dudes in this pigpen of a town. You don’t like.. Try to square up with me or walk on eggshells around me. Which is shockingly abnormal and I appreciate that.

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Course we’re cool. You’re one of the few peeps in this joint that doesn’t judge me for my choices, or try to make me feel like shit all the time so they can hide feeling shit bout themselves. So the feelings mutual. 

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I never said anything about saving her, I like Britt and them together could definitely work. I just think you would be more tolerable if you had someone to give you a little bit of self-worth. Maybe there would be more to you than getting drunk and bragging about fucking random women if you dated Quinn.

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There’s always been more to me, you just don’t care to see it. And I don’t need any pity party, so thanks but no thanks. I fucking love myself and I’m doing just fine on my own.

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He asked me out on a date this Friday night and I said yes so we’re something. Is it? Because I think you like her more than you’d like to admit and if I have to help nudge you along, I’m not against doing just that.

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What happened to not being the dating type? And why do you even care? You got Finn, you don’t have anyone to worry about that. You call me a jackass or a dick every other week so it’s not like you give a shit about me, Britt can hold her own so some bullshit excuse about saving her would be well... bullshit. And you fucking hate Quinn. 

Quinn: Neither did I. Shes been surprisingly friendly as of late.

Quinn: Britt is a good person. She came to see me after it all, even though she didn't have to. She could've just left me to deal with the entire fallout myself.

Quinn: I'm impressed you went. Maybe if you had've told me- I could've forced you to actually focus.

Puck: That's cool though right?

Puck: Oh that's cool. Are you guys like a thing now?

Puck: [unsent] You are the worst person to be around if I gotta focus.

Quinn: But its unladylike.

Quinn: I have to face it all at some point. Plus I have you to defend me if things go bad- and Brittany, and Santana, surprisingly. Its not as scary coming back when I have people in my corner.

Quinn: Still, it would've been nice to know you were coming to one of my classes, despite the fact you clearly didn't listen.

Puck: Still sexy though.

Puck: Santana too? Didn't see that one coming. Britt is cool, I like her.

Quinn: Me saying fuck is hot?

Quinn: You looked nice in the suit. And it mattered to me- I needed to save face in front of my family, and it made me feel normal for a few hours. At least, until I remembered I had to return to here and deal with my outing.

Quinn: Who was it? How come I never even noticed you were in that class?

Quinn: You went to women studies, and you took the name literally. Did you learn anything about the patriarchy, or feminism, or how women are more than just objects for your pleasure?

Puck: Yeah, kinda.

Puck: If you were super worried about coming back you could said. We could have ditched for another night, hid out at my Ma's.

Puck: It doesn't matter.

Quinn: I knew you'd make fun of me if I censored it- and now you're making fun of me for not censoring it :P

Quinn: And I'm very glad you /didn't/. My father doesn't take nicely to people who don't fall into line.

Quinn: Who was it? Was it that brunette in the front row because I've never seen her look at anything but the classwork.

Quinn: But that is an example of my very point.

Puck: Hey! I'm not making fun. It was kinda hot.

Puck: Pretty sure I looked like an asshat anyway, would it have mattered? I wore that nice suit and all.

Puck: It wasn't the brunette.

Quinn: I just blocked the cheerio that asked me if I joined the team just to look up skirts.

Quinn: Does that count as telling them to fuck off?

Quinn: I'm not going to deny that- my father does spoil me, and its not like I want to disappoint him.

Quinn: What? No. I'm not in there to perv on women, and this is why I still don't think you /see/ women.\

Puck: Want me to beat on them for you? I'll totally do it.

Puck: I mean not really, but it's better than nothing. But o.m.g did Quinn Fabray just curse? :O I'm wearing off on you.

Puck: He's kind of a dick. If it hadn't meant so much to you I woulda let him know too.

Quinn: More people than I thought. Its not like I even understand it myself- and theyre trying to understand it for me.

Quinn: You've actually met my parents now- so you can't really make a statement like that anymore.

Puck: So tell them to fuck off.

Puck: Do they see you every day? Do they know the shit you do? No.

Puck: Didn't know you were so busy being stuck under daddy's thumb. Or whatever that saying is.

I wasn’t trying to convince you but it totally didn’t take much to get the idea going.  I don’t have anything cool to offer back, but I can help set up or something if you want. 

Oh. Well shit. Ah well, any excuse is a good excuse for a party if you ask me. You just rock up and have a good time is all I ask for, dude.