Lollipop Heidi

This weekend was amazing as a cosplayer people like my work but in real life it has been pretty fucked up

It started off with an x who has scared me for life messaging me it honestly freaked me out I replied out of politeness even tho I didn’t want to he tried to give me closer because we never had it it worked in a way but I don’t know if I believe any of it..

The next day I was doing my thing the day did start off with my boyfriend saying I didn’t look good in my cosplay then I didn’t see him the rest of the day a time went on and I get a call from my boss being a good employee I answered in case of emergency to only find out that I got laid off after the phone call I still had shoots so I have to keep on a smile after finding out o can’t afford rent anymore

So what did I do got really drunk of course to only wake up the next morning with out my boyfriend what did he do jusyvparty all night and said he didn’t want to come back cause he was too drunk this isn’t the first time this has happened so I just claim whatever put on my cosplay and leave for my shoots

Once I get to the con center it starts pouring all of my scheduled shoots get delayed or canceled I was going to get paid for one and that didn’t happen because of the rain that night is when all the drama happened

I got too drunk and my boyfriend got mad at me for trying to take his friend home he said she didn’t need my help and yelled at me for being an idiot and that I’m wrong at this point I can’t Handle anything anymore and I start bawling I’ve had a shity weekend and now we are fighting after I stop and return to the room the fires happen at the other hotel so everyone leaves I just went to bed

Next morning still upset at everything just scrolling through Instagram it kicks me off and says Instagram has deleted my account I freak out and start doing everything to get it back I didn’t do anything wrong on there and is my last point of escape from everything happening around me but I have to do on with life I have a schedule to keep by have to put on a smile for everyone around me

At this point I still don’t have it back and there isn’t much more I can do I’m in a really low place and it’s for stupid reasons I should just suck it up and be fine but here I am wallowing in my head