Hello
Iām not sure if anybody will see this BUT this is my final attempt at making my life right. Iāve been stuck in the same position for two years. Every day I wake up without any reason to live. I consider myself to be a highly ambitious person with big goals and dreams but depression has been eating away at my brain therefore I have zero concentration or any energy to do anything. Of course my poor mental health is affecting my academic life and in return I became even more miserable. If I continue like this I genuinely see no acceptable future for myself. I will either have to off myself or do something about it.
This will be my diary of sorts or just a place where I can hold myself accountable.To my core I am a being of routine but with no will to live itās been harder and harder to maintain any routine at all. I will have to make daily honest updates on here. Itās the only way to track my progress.I am aware that change cannot come overnight.
So my plan is : to get my academic life back on track, to work as much as I can considering that I have to pay for uni, to get healthy ( maybe even start going to the gym?)
My short term/ september goals are:
- Pass at least 5 exams before the new semester (organic chem 2 is the biggest priority)
- Finish two current reads
- Start working out 15 minutes every day
My long term goals are to:
- Become more mindful when it comes to my studies
- Actually pass all my exams on time
- Learn French!
- Get my body in perfect shape
- Earn enough money for uni, solo trips etc
- Work on my English
- Write more poems
- Be offline more
I love books and films and learning and making people I love happy but I am so so sick of living like a miserable corpse. I have no reason to live so I guess I have to force some kind of structure in my life and maybe along the way I will find some meaning.



















