Adri

name: hi! i’m adri or alex it doesn’t really matter i like both

age: i’m 16

pronouns: she/her

stats:

weight: SW-123 lbs HW-126 lbs CW-uhhhh next LW-97 lbs (i hit it then tried to recover but uh were back here so that didn’t go well) UGW- 92 lbs

height: 5’3 (short:’()

sexuality: bi or pan or omni i have no clue

struggling with: i’ve never been diagnosed but ed wise i think ednos? i binge purge (over exercise, throw up, lax abuse) restrict fast etc. and mental health wise depression suicidal thoughts and recently anxiety BUT KEEP IN MIND IVE NEVER BEEN DIAGNOSED

reason you developed an ed: i was trying to lose weight for my now ex and it fucked me up and made me fall into really bad disordered habits and now i’m stuck with horrible thoughts and habits and bad memories from him

personal stuff: i have dyed hair play animal crossing and league of legends (if you play please message me! i’m nice i swear and i need more people to play with) i love chemistry and want to be a forensic scientist! my favourite movie is baby driver and favourite show is brooklyn 99

i’ve been in recovery since my last post. real true food freedom recovery. and i’m doing so so so much better.

my bf and i broke up and that hurt but it made me stronger made me fight harder to get to a place where i’m happy with myself and i’m getting there. i still have bad days but i no longer see food as the enemy, i no longer think horrible things about my body and bodies in general and i no longer wish i was a size xxxs.

i’m fighting for my life from a disorder that has one of the highest death rates and WINNING! GUYS IM WINNING!

i never thought it would be possible but here i am:’)

if you told me a year ago i’d weigh what i do now i would have cried fasted and probably kms. but i’m ok with my body my weight how i look how much i eat.

i don’t have food rules anymore, i don’t have brain fog, i don’t plan outfits based on how bloated i might be. i don’t make being skinny my number one priority. i work out to feel good and because i like it not to punish myself.

i’m posting this because i have people attacking me for things i did on my twitter. i’m not going to go into specifics because it’s extremely triggering but they keep harassing me and telling me i’m running from my problems when it’s the opposite. i’ve been facing my problems head on fighting up hill battles getting stronger healthier and HAPPIER.

i look back on my old pictures and posts and i just hope that girl gets to a place where she loves herself because that girl isn’t me. she’s dead.

i say this from the bottom of my heart, stay safe i love you all so much you guys were my safe place my shelter my support, but i don’t need this platform anymore because my goals in life changed,

i’m not chasing a smaller body, i’m chasing my life goals of happiness education success and confidence.

please get out, leave tumblr, leave while you still can,

it’s not worth it

no matter how much meanspo tries to convince you otherwise

it’s a living hell every single day

if you’re just stumbling upon this community or youre starting to starve yourself

it will seem easy at first but after a month or so everything will just be painful

i wish i could go back to being carefree not giving a fuck about food but i can’t

so please take care of yourself enjoy life

please

signed,

i’m flying my bf out to see me for my birthday and all i can think about is how disgusting i look and how i’m definitely not good enough for him,

he’s literally the best thing to happen to me and he’s perfect for me in every way, like he’s so understanding and kind and caring and makes me laugh on my worst days

when i tell him i want to cry cause of work or i’m having a bad day he says “I can’t control how your days go but I’m always working to end it in a good note”

i feel like i’m not good enough even though he tells mr how perfect i am and how beautiful i am and he doesn’t care about my weight

today we were about to watch a movie over a meet and i asked if i should make popcorn and to tell me honestly if i should not just because you want me to eat and he said i know they’re one of your safe foods like popsicles and sweet potatoes so yea definitely go get some.

i don’t want to compare him to my ex and i can’t even because he completely blows him out of the water, when i would talk about my ed with my ex he would just tell me he’s sorry he doesn’t understand it but wil literally went and asked a friend of his who went into treatment how he could help me better.

i honestly don’t know what id do without him and i love him so much but i do want to lose weight before i see him because i feel so gross right now

i’ve been focusing on weight training to build muscle because it boosts your metabolism but that also means ill weigh more because muscle weighs more than fat

i’m trying not to weigh myself and actually try to get better in a sense but i don’t want to gain weight

i feel so fat and ugly and i just want to die even though every other part of my life is going well

smh i feel ungrateful

anyways if you read this congrats? i guess? i just wanted to talk about my life because i treat this blog more like a diary than anything else

the day i get taken down is probably the day i end it all but let’s hope that doesn’t happen

stay safe, take your meds and drink your water

an irl of mine who absolutely hates me somehow found my ed twtr account and went through my likes

she then sent me a ss asking me how i thought that was ok and how disgusting it was